Gintama 684

I sleepy.

[Gintama 684 Translation by Kewl0210]
Page 1:
Insert: Otae-san out shopping.
Tae: Oh?
What a nice bathing suit.
Maybe I'll buy one for Shin-chan.
Woman: You've got quite the eye for quality, little lady.
And with the sale we have going on for the summer, it's mighty affordable.
Just keep in mind, these are all the latest fashions that are one step ahead of all the current trends.
Tae: Really? I certainly see a lot of new designs.
Like these
kind of look like underpants.
And this
seems to have something jutting out of it.

Page 2:
Tae: This is
Hentai Kamen.
T/N: Hentai Kamen (Pervert Mask) is a gag manga that ran in Jump from the early 90's starring a character with underwear on his face like Gin does. It was adapted into 2 live action movies.
Top Insert: ☆The newest, Jump Comics Volume 73 & the 'Ginpachi Sensei' novel, go on sale today!!
Left Insert: The curtain rises on the avant-garde fashion show.
TItle: Lesson 684
The Trick to Dieting is to not Always Strain Yourself, Sometimes Give Yourself a Treat
Author: Sorachi Hideaki
Someone: It's not so much the bathing suit, more the style that's being sold here, wouldn't you say?
I'll bet nobody would leave you alone if you showed up on the beach with a style like this.
Tae: Yes. I think the police wouldn't leave you alone.
Guys: The police
can't move an inch.
Why'd you
become a mannequin, too?!

Page 3:
Zai: Hijikata-san.
That's Shinpachi-kun's older sister.
Narration: Mob Cop Yamazaki Camoflaging as Hijikata.
Hiji: !
Zaki: It looks like the Yorozuya boss doesn't want big sis to notice him.
Hiji: Why?!
Zaki: I don't know, but I'd assume it's because there's something he wants to do without her knowing he came back to Edo.
Hiji: No, I mean why's he making himself stand out so much?!
Zaki: Now that's one even I don't want to know.
How'd we get all cozied up as mannequins with somebody we were tailing and end up put on display by the shop manager?
We've got to tail Takasugi, too,
but right now we can't move an inch!
If we're not careful here, he'll get away!

Page 4:
Sign: Special Selection Campaign
Hiji: ........
You're doing it toooooo?!!
What? You've got to be kidding? Why is that guy doing?!!
Has he been doing stuff like that this whole time with a smug look on his face to keep throwing us off tailing him?
What the hell have we been dealing with this whole time?!!

Page 5:
Zaki: It looks like hanging around with the Yorozuya boss for so long made the stupidity rub off on him...
Hiji: Hey, he's keeping his head tilted towards the ground. He's for sure got a bright red face right now!
Zaki: Um, Hijikata-san, to put it briefly, I don't think we're in a position to criticize. So maybe you should stop?
Tae: These look easy to swim in. They might do.
Zaki: !
Tae: M'am, mind if I take a look at these off the mannequin?
Woman: Oh, no problem. Just take 'em right off.
Tae: But, um...
Woman: Oh, that thing jutting out there? Yes, they sure are intricate with their mannequin designs these days, aren't they?
How about I take them off for you, then? I'm quite used to looking ad my husband's.
Ah, looks like it's stuck on something. I can't quite get it off.
He's not like my husband. Whenever he sees my face, his gets small right away.
Would you mind calming that down a bit?
Tae: Maybe just breaking it off would be...
faster.
Hiji: P-Please endure it, Yamazaki!
Somoene: That didn't work at all, it seems. Could you hand me the hammer right over there?
Hiji: Hammer?
Tae: Um, but I'm still not sure if I want to buy them yet.
Woman: No need to hold back now. We'e got plenty of both mannequins and t*sticles, after all.
Tae: Um, it's not about holding back.

Page 6:
Tae: HNGH!!
SFX: CRICCK
Tae: What I wanted to see
was this cap.
Woman: Oh, the cap, was it?
All right.
Hiji: MOB COOOOOOP!!
Tae: But now that I get a closer look, it's not quite what I had in mind.
Do you happen to have this in black?
Woman: Oh, sorry, not in black.
Tae: That's a pity.
Then I'll just put this back on the neck, then.
Guys: Uh, I think that's the wrong shaft you're sticking that oooon!!
SFX: GOSUH
Someone: Huh? Is this how it was before?
It seems a little off somehow.
Was this not where it was?
No, this went on here, didn't it?
No, this wasn't here originally.
SFX: ZU GA DOSU DOH

Page 7:
People: Yes, I do believe this was how it was.
Yes, I certainly recognize seeing this before.
Hiji: Yamazaki, where'd you go?!
How the hell did they make you end up like this?!
Somoene: Ah, nice and crisp looking.
Hiji: No, that's the person that makes thing nice and crispy!!
This woman is dangerous...!!
Even after two years, she still causes disasters wherever she goes!!
Tae: Ah, I'm interested in these sunglasses, too!
Would it be okay if I took these off?
Hiji: !!
I'm done.
I'm well-done and crispy...
Woman: Ah! The wind is blowing the merchandise awaaay!!
Hiji: He raaaan!!

Page 8:
Hiji: What's that bastard think he's doing all on his own...?!!
You can bet I'm also...
SFX: GURA
Hiji: !
SFX: GASHI
Tae: HNGH!!
SFX: BUON
SFX: DOGOO
Tae: Ah, thank goodness!
SFX: PARA PARA
Tae: You almost lost your precious merchandise!
Woman: Yes. Though it's not exactly in the best of shape now.
SFX: PAN PAN

Page 9:
Taw: Yes.
Sign: Tsunemichi Inn Dojo
Someone: So then, she said how since it was just a couple of mannequins she never remembered getting anyhow,
that as thanks, if I wanted, I could take them along with all of the merchandise on them.
Handwritten: YAH!
YAH!
YAH!
Tae: But to be honest, I had no idea what use I would have for something like that.
So, after I thought about it a bit...
Yes, okay, hold it there!
Put a little more spirit into your swings!
Women: Yes, m'am!
Tae: Okay, on to your next routine!
Kyuu: So, what ended up happening with that?

Page 10:
Tae: As you can see,
SFX: KIEEEE
SFX: PAAAN
Tae: I decided to use them as striking practice dummies.
SFX: KIEEEE DODODO PAAN PAAN
Tae: The mannequins they make these days are amazing, aren't they?
Hitting them feels just like hitting a real person.
Guys: How did it end up like this?
SFX: PAN PAN PAN
People: Forget mannequins,
we ended up as freakin' sand bags!!
Just how freaking long are we gonna have to keep this charade up?!
Enough already! If you don't move, I can't move either!
She's gotta have caught onto us a while ago by now, right?!
She's gotta just be doing this to aggrevate us, doesn't she?!!
Page 11:
Guys: Anyhow, didn't this place use to be a broken down old swordsmanship dojo?
Who are these people?
And what
is TAEZAP?
SFX: DUUUURU DUUUURU
SFX: DUUURU
SFX: PAAAPARA PAAA PARA PAPPAAA
SFX: DUUUURU DUUURU DUUURU
SFX: PAAPARA PAAPARA PAPPAAA

Page 12:
Tae: Okay, everyooone! That's all for today's trainiiing!
Hiji: Wait, this is just a bunch of fatties turning around on some potter's wheels.
Tae: You all did amazing, everyone.
I'm so impressed how how, despite not having any results to show yet, you can still spin around with those triumphant looks on your faces.
In order to get an ideal body, the first thing you need is a the spirit not to lose to yourself.
As long as you have that strong heart, then you'll be okay. I'm certain that the swordsmanship dojo TAEZAP will get you all to lose weight.
Someone: Swordsmanship exercise?
Tae: Let's push ourselves again tomorrow!
Okay, you may each take your Häagen-Dazs reward on your way out.
Hiji: Like hell they're gonna lose weight like that!! This woman's totally trying to keep them here till they die!
Tae: Sorry to keep you waiting.
Kyuu: Hmph. Tae-chan,
I'm utterly astonished at how strong-willed you are.
Who but you would have thought to, in this era where the sword is dying, to build a business targeting women combined with dieting.
From a woman's viewpoint,
the one to protect the sword in this era may be someone like you.

Page 13:
Kyuu: But I'm not gonna let you outdo me.
Though, are you sure?
I thought Shinpachi-kun was the one who was going to inherit this dojo?
Gin: .........!!
Kyuu: Shinpachi-kun
is still running the Yorozuya, right?
It's already been 2 years since all that happened,
so is what Shinpachi intends to succeed not this dojo... but him? ["him" in italics]
Sign: Yorozuya Gin-chan

Page 14:
Tae: I wouldn't mind if that's the case.
Kyuu: Huh?
Tae: If that's what Shin-chan really wants to do.
But most likely, that boy is...
...No, never mind.
Right now... this is fine.
People: Thank you for today!
Tae: I'm really into what I'm doing now as well.
Kyuu: ...I see. Then maybe we can setup a joint practice with my dojo next time.
Tae: That sounds interesting. But watch out, my pupils are quite tough!
Kyuu: I'm looking forward to it.
Tae: How is everyone doing over there?
Kyuu: Same as always.
Quite a lot happened to us over these past two years as well.
But in the end, even if the outside world changes, we have no talent for anything but swinging swords.
No, actually...

Page 15:
Kyuu: If a time comes when we do fall to ruin, along with our sword,
will be the dignity of the family that lived alongside that sword.
I think I'm going to have a formal marriage interview.
Bin: What do you mean,
Kyuubei?
Kyuu: In order to protect this sword, to protect the Yagyuu Style,
the fastest way would be to have children and pass on the techniques.
Bin: ...Kyuubei,
you...
Kyuu: There's no need to worry about me.
I won't bring girls home anymore.

Page 16:
Kyuu: In that war,
I learned to have pride
in being born of the Yagyuu clan
and of being born a woman.
If there's someone that will live with me alongside this sword,
then I will gladly die with that person.
Bin: .........
I see.
Kyuu: He wanted to see
that person again.
He really enjoyed swinging his sword around on such a big stage one last time,
but the time he enjoyed himself the most
was when he fought him. ["him" in italics]
SFX: DOGYAU

Page 17:
Kyuu: So
I'm glad he didn't come back.
If it wasn't handled right,
I might've ended up put in a marriage interview with him. ["him" in italics]
If something like that had happened,
the Yagyuu clan would have fallen to ruin overnight.
Tae: I suppose so.
But still, that man may have wanted to see it, too.
You in
a wedding dress, Kyuu-chan.
As well as how
Edo looks now.
Kyuu: ........
Yes, maybe.
Tae: L-Let's get going then.
We have an appointment to make the order for your marriage meeting kimono today.
Kyuu: Oh, that's right.
Ah, but before that, we should clean up these mannequins.
Tae: It's fine to just leave them there.
Kyuu: No, you mustn't do that, Tae-chan. With that attitude you'll never be a proper wife.

Page 18:
SFX: ZAWA
Kyuu: UGAaaaaaa
SFX: DOGAA
SFX: GOpAAAA
Tae: What's wrong, Kyuu-chan?
Kyuu: Nothing...
I just... got a strange feeling just then.
Ah, well, I suppose the trash is cleared away now.
Tae: That's true.
What do you say we get going?

Page 19:
Guys: Uh,
she hasn't overcome her hatred of men at all, dammit!!
SFX: GARA GARA (CLANK CLANK)
Tae: ---So,
what was the cause?
Kyuu: Food poisoning.
He promised to stop scavenging for food and amassing trash,
but he went missing one year ago.
Most likely
SFX: GARA GARA
Kyuu: he's still collecting trash somewhere.
Guys: He's aliiiiive?!!
Insert: The mannequin sightseeing diary continues...
Bottom: Gintama
...Lesson 684
/ End