Only for use by HWMN
[Gintama 696 Translation by Kewl0210]
Someone: Symbol of our country's culture,
the Terminal, has been struck by a gigantic ship.
Insert: ☆Banana out of control!
->Enemy fleet taken down!
->Symbol of culture destroyed!
Someone: And now, a mysterious pair of fleets
is doing battle in the skies of Edo.
Insert: ☆A bigger hit than we ever would have dreamed!! The live action movie 'Gintama 2' is still out in theaters!!
Someone: What in the world is happening in Edo right now?!
Surely we can assume that this is the work of the terrorist organization
that caused the earlier explosion in the Terminal and assassinated the Prime Minister, no?
Middle Insert: ☆The TV Anime 'Gintama' The Silver Soul Arc is now airing every week at 1:35AM on TV Tokyo and affiliates!!
Someone: So has whoever is behind those acts of terror all across different planets now come to Earth as well...?
Oh, excuse me.
It seems that there's an event in progress near one of our reporters in the field.
Ana: Thank you, this is Hanano. Thank you all for your patience.
Ana: That man has finally snapping into action.
The hero that protected the people... protected Edo in that war 2 years ago.
Ana: This Last Samurai that has declared before
that if a crisis approaches Edo again, he would take up his sword once again.
has finally taken to the field!!
Top Insert: Three chapters left until the final chpater!!
Bottom Insert: ☆Jump Comics Volume 74 is now on sale!!
Volume 75 goes on sale October 4th (Thurs.)!!
The time to get the complete set may be coming up!
Title: Lesson 696 Cheap Sake
ANa: Madao-san, would you mind letting us know how you're feeling at the present moment?
Guys: Goes without sayin', right?!
Now that Madao's here, Edo's good as saved!!
Whoever the enemy is, his great sword Unemployedcaliber can cut them down in a single stroke!!
Insert: ☆The Official Gintama app is now available!! Use coins to enjoy the manga, novels, and anime!!
Ana: You sure are popular, aren't you, Madao-san!
How confident are you you'll be able to meet everyone's expectations?
Hase: Well... Funny you should mention.
I never would've thought a crisis would arrive in Edo this quickly.
I really miscalculated... Not. I've been waiting for this moment!
Sharpening this great blade Neetcaliber all the while.
Somoene: Wasn't it called Unemployecalibur?
Hase: Anyhow, I'm a guy who thrives on battle!
Man, I wanna get to that fight so bad!
Ana: That's certainly reassuring.
SFX: PAN PAN
Hase: But... Today, I'm kind of um... Ya know...
Ana: What's wrong?
Hae: Nothing, just... An old wound of mine, this cursed flame causing me pain inside my mouth.
Ana: Cursed flame?! Is this a wound from a previous battle?
Hase: Yeah, pretty much.
Because of that pain from the cursed flame in my mouth... I haven't been able to eat much.
Ana: Wait, you're not talking about mouth ulcers, are you?
Hase: I haven't eaten in two or three days.
Hase: Actually I think it's been five days since I put that thing in.
Hase: So 'cause 'a that, I'm a little worried about whether or not I'll be able to be up to my usual standard.
Guy: What're you people doing over there?!!
This is an evacuation zone!!
Civilians are not allowed inside!! Please take shelter at a safe place immediately!!
Hase: Oh, I see!! An evacuation zone!! Shit, well, nothing I can do then!!
Even if I'm a hero, I'm still a civilian. Just a regular guy suffering from mouth ulcers.
Goddammmiiiiit!! I wanna fiiiiight!!
Guys: Hey, hold on a minute, isn't that...
It is, it's Madao!!
No way, Madao the hero is here to lend us his strength?
Hold on a second. Have you always had that upturned chin, Madao?
But wait, that great sword on your back...
Someone: The great sword broke! It's made of styrofoam!
I knew that guy wasn't the Madao!
What are yo do-
We can't let you get in Madao's way!!
He's the only one that can save Edo!!
We'll hold these guys back,
Hase: I'm sorry, people of Edo.
It's just like you said. I can't give up at a time like this!
Wait for me until I restore peace in Edo! And...
until I finish tying my shoe laces!
In order to get the maximum potential out of my Nike basketball shoes, the way you tie them really is important!
SOmeone: Uh, but those are sandals.
Hase: Shit! My hands are shaking so much I can't tie them right! Quiet down, cursed flame!
Guys: Uh, what does anything about you're doing have to do with mouth ulcers?
Hase: Nike, please give me streeength!!
Guys: Um... Madao-san. If you don't hurry up, everyone's sympathy for you is gonnna...
Hase: ...Huh? My lace broke.
Dan, that's unlucky. Maybe I should just call it quits for toda-
SFX: OOO OO
Someone: Infiltration unit, enter the Terminal at once,
Someone: and seize it.
The ship unit will expand around the perimeter of the Terminal and remove all those that approach.
Someone: The Kuyou has fallen, but our plan remains in place.
We will capture the Terminal directly and procuring the Altana.
And once we offer that power to our god,
He will be restored in his complete form.
Tendou: It is at that moment that our deepest wish,
will belong to all living creatures in the universe.
Saka: Hey, three idiots,
that god or whatever's fallen ta earth.
Right now, you guys should be able ta reach it.
...So get goin'.
Saka: I dunno if what you'll find there is a god that aught to be destroyed,
'er a master you'll wanna save,
the one thing I am sure of
is whatever path we take,
we've got friends here.
No matter what ya lose,
or what ya gain,
that's something that ain't gonna change.
Don't go forgetting that.
Guys: This ain't just your fight,
it's our fight.
Bringing that god down to earth was good, but thanks to that, there's a whole ton of these annoying believers swarming around here.
Kon: I don't totally get what's going on,
but we just gotta beat those guys and get into the Terminal, right?
And that Yorozuya guy's headed there, too, UHO?
Oki: Hijikata-san, we're in luck. It seems like he's still got some of his human mental faculties left.
These orders are even more crude than usual. But I guess that's how the Shinsengumi's gotta be.
Hiji: We might be reviving a monster that could destroy the world,
but it sure looks like fun.
Kon: Ya know, it sure...
brings back memories.
Being in a rain of bullets sure feels more nostalgic
that living in a peaceful world where war's ended. We sure have lived some crazy lives.
What the hell were we fighting for these past two years?
Okit: Finally figured it out, huh?
Oki: are the people absolutely least suited to being peace-protecting police.
Oki: But it's still a little early to be nostalgic.
If ya like fighting,
the strongest fighter still hasn't come home.
Haji: ---No, they're back now.
Hiji: Looks like we butted in where we weren't needed.
They're the type to silently spur you on.
But... those are definitely
some nostalgic backs.
Guy: THis is an image from a security camera.
The form of ronin fighting with the army in black clothes...!!
Just who in the world could they be?
With Madao deceased, are they perhaps new saviors that will carry on his will?
Hase: I'm not deaaaaaaaad!!
SFX: DO DO DO DO
Ana: How could you cut off the relay like that, we're still alive!!
We're currently under attack from the mysterious group that came out of the ship!
Someone: Oh, I see. Then it sounds like you'll be dying pretty soon, huh? Thank you so much for your reporti~ng.
Ana: Don't cut me ooooff!! Do you want us to die that badly?!!
I have the hero, Madao, here with me! I'm sure he'll easily get us out of this pinch!!
Hase: How the hell long are you gonna keep following me?! With you around it's so much harder for me to get awa- Er...
Ana: We've come this far, so we're going to go with you!! We need to capture the hero's bravery on camera!!
Hase: Uh, that might be a problem. With you guys here, I... Uh....
Can't fight all-out!! You guys could get caught up in the fight!!
Once I get into go-mode, I become a mindless killing machine!!
If you're next to me, you'll die for sure!! And I definitely won't be able to help you! In fact you might even be safer next to the enemy!!
Ana: Uh, what kind of hero are you exactly?
Hase: Anyhow, I'm not gonna stop till every last one of them is on the ground, so you'd better hurry and get out of-
Oh dammit, from the front, too?!
Ana: Aah! Madao-san jumped!!
Hase: I'm sorryyyy!!!
Are you uh,
Ana: A-A huge explosiooooon!!
The moment Madao-san shot onto the ground to beg for his life, the enemy suddenly exploded!!
What in the world...?!!
Hase: I'm sorry I acted all high and mighty like I was a hero...
Please forgive meeee!!!
Ana: Oh my, another explosion!!
Every time Madao-san apologizes, the enemies explode like powder kegs!!
What in the world is going on here?!
Is this the power of Madao, the hero?!
Hase: Wh-What the hell?
Ana: Madao-san, just how did you do what you just did?
Hase: Uh... Yeah, er, uh, that may look like begging for my life at first glance, but...
It's... It's a technique where I sent the burning flames of my mouth ulcers through the ground and explode at the feet of my enemies.
Ana: Mouth ulcers can do something that terrifying?! It honestly looked like you were just apologizing!
Hase: Th-That wasn't me saying I was sorry, that was an incantation, "Aym sah ri"...
SFX: GACHA GACHA
There's enemies all over the place around here!!
Ana: Heeeeey! Who do you think you're using as a shield?!
Hase: 'Aym sah ri'! 'Aym sah ri'!
Ana: Oh come on, you were totally just blurting out apologies!!
KYaaaa! Stay awaaay!
Hase: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't-
Ana: I used aym sah ri, toooooo!!!
Hase: Uh, no, I think that was my aym sah ri. My mouth ulcers must've spread splashed onto you, infecting you with them, so now they're in your mouth, too...
Ana: Could you please don't say super gross stuff like that?!! I think I'm okay without being able to do aym sah ri, then.
Hase: I'm sorry!!
Hase: I'm sorry!!
Hase: I... I've really awakened...
Ana: Th-This is amazing. So this is what a hero can do.
I'm sorry I doubted you.
I'd thought that, despite everyone calling you a hero, you maybe weren't really anything that impressive.
But you really are...
Hase: ...No, you were right the first time.
I didn't do anything great in that war.
The ones that pulled off the really incredible stuff didn't even think about trying to get any personal glory from them, and just started off on their own person wars right after.
I claimed all their achievements for myself. I'm total fraud of a hero.
Hase: But even after getting so pampered over being a hero,
with all these great women surrounding and getting all the booze I could drink
and gorging myself on food,
I wasn't enjoying myself
even a little more than I had been before.
I wonder why.
All I'd lost was just one drinking buddy.
That's why I came here.
Even if I couldn't do anything useful, even if I threw away the title of hero,
to drink cheap sake with that guy again.
Maybe the reason I got a power like this
is because those feelings reached the heavens...
But... Since I lied, I gotta make sure I say this to you.
Hata: Old man, stop getting in my way. You made me miss my shot!
Old: What do you mean? There's enemies all over the place, just shoot wherever and you'll hit somebody!
Hata: Did I hit a human? Was somebody down there?
Ah, then should I? Should I say it just in case?
Insert: One idiot leaves and another one enters.