Only for use by HWMN
[Gintama Volume 77 Extras Translation by Kewl0210]
Top: Sorachi Hideaki
Text: The final manuscript and my career as a mangaka are both finiiiiiiished!
★This is a work of fiction. It has no connection to any real people, groups, or events whatsoever.
Nobody with a Natural Perm is a Decent Guy
Top: Gintama Volume 77
Contents: Lesson 686 Even for Villains, There Are Things That Are Okay to Do and Things That Are Not Okay to Do
Lesson 696 Cheap Sake
Lesson 697 A Myriad of Threads
Lesson 698 Beyond the Final Chapter
Lesson 699 Gintoki and his Comrades
Lesson 700 Steel Heart
Lesson 701 Homing Instinct
Lesson 702 Fate
Lesson 703 The Right Eye
Lesson 704 Nobody with a Natural Perm is a Decent Guy
[Leave the bottom as it just says CONTENTS again]
Thank you so much for purchasing Gintama volume 77. And I'm so very sorry about making you wait such a long time for it. It's only thanks to everyone's warm comments cheering me on that with this volume, Gintama has finally reached its conclusion. I've finally broken through the goal tape and collapsed on the ground covered in blood. Thank you all so much.
So, while I did reach the end, the path to getting there was a horror that I have trouble describing. I broke every last deadline like I was breaking through all the sliding paper doors of the houses of everyone in my big family. Like the one hoodlum kid that's in every big family, I caused tons of problems for all the readers and industry people. But nevertheless, because of the kind of person I am, like the daddy of a big family, I turned defiant and churned out this massive thick volume unlike anyone's ever seen. I really am
so very sorry!!
To all those alive right now,
I'm so very sorry!!!!!
To the whole of creation across the entire universe
I'm so very sorry!!!!!
To Big Daddy
I'm so very sorry!!!!!!
To very sorries,
I'm so very sorry!!!!!!
[The I'm so sorries get bigger as it goes along]
Bottom: (Continues on Page 46)
T/N: The Big Daddy here refers to Hayashiya Kiyoshi, a businessman who's nicknamed Big Daddy and was on a documentary series featuring his big family.
So now that I'm giving an out-and-out I'm so very sorry... Huh? What even is "I'm so very sorry" I've repeated it so many times the words feel like they've lost all meaning. I'm so very sorry about this, but that's going to have to be it for the I'm-so-very-sorries. I'll use fantasy imagery to try to convey to you this utterly disastrous state of affairs. The hero Sorachi that was not able to defeat the Demon King after fighting for 14 long years in Jump had learned the extension-magic spell (Giga)dein and vowed that this time he was really going to beat the Demon King and made his way into the Demon King's castle. You all know that part, right? Okay, so, the hero's partner this time was Editor Isaka Level 33, and he was a pretty tough guy, somebody who'd fought on the legendary Grand Line. The type that'd be out there smoking a cigar with a calm look on his face even if he only had 3 HP left. So as the hero was asking stuff like 'Hey, so, this is all ok? For real?' as he was getting more and more brazen and rapid-fire casting Gigadein until he reached the save point right before the fight with the Demon King, which is when he realized his MP was at zero. 'Well, Tough Guy Ikasa Level 33 must've brought some items with him, right?' thought the hero as he turned to look over his shoulder. And there he saw Iksaka Level 33 smoking a cigar in a coffin. Er, actually the whole screen was kinda filled with coffins. There was just a long-ass line of coffins leading all the way back to the hero's far-off hometown of Aliahan. It was at this point where Hero Sorachi realized. 'I see... So the Demon King... was me, all along.' That's the story of February when it didn't end in Giga.
Bottom: (Continued on page 68)
T/N: Gigadein is the Kazap spell in the English Dragon Quest games. In Dragon Quest when your allies die they follow behind you in coffins. There's a hometown called Aliahan. But you don't need me to explain the Dragon Quest games, right? If you've read up to this point then you've had the equivalent of playing the entire 11 game series.
So there you have it. Not Hero, but Demon King Sorachi was actually somewhat aware of what had transpired. When Tough Guy Isaka Level 33 had said 'Sir, just leave your back to me... HEEE!' he had let out what sounded very much like a scream at the last moment.
And before that, when Editor Manabe Level 3 had said 'Sorachi-san, we will be by your side to the very end... HEEDEHBU,' he'd clearly said HEEDEHBU.
And even before that, when Editor Naitou Level 31 had said '..................', he didn't actually say anything at all, all he did was be a corpse on the ground.
Sorachi had pretended not to hear their screams and pressed forward. And when he'd finally turned to look behind him, the weight of all the coffins was so massive that he couldn't move forward anymore. But that's all with regard to Sorachi when he was a hero. Once he'd become a demon king, there was no stopping him. Since he wasn't a hero anymore, he couldn't equip Erdrick's armor or Erdrick's sword anymore. So he was now buck naked with nothing but a cypress stick at his crotch and the coffin with Isaka Level 33 in it as a shield as he ventured on to the final battle all alone.
'I may no longer be able to go back to being a hero that fights in Jump, but such things no longer matter. As long as I have at least one reader left, even if I have to use toilet paper as a manuscript, I must fight to the very end. Bwahahahahaha!' he said.
And then a rotted Isaka Level 33 jumped out of the coffin and said, 'Kishishi! Oh great Demon King, I have the perfect item for one as evil as you!' After which he coughed a stinking, bloody, vomit-soaked item from his mouth. It was the forbidden demon tool, App Serialization.
Bottom: (Continued on page 120)
After having done so many evil deeds and no longer even being able to form a party anymore, Sorachi had become a demon king. But when his old comrade had still stuck with him despite become stinking Isaka Level 33 and then used this app to keep him alive, Demon King Sorachi could not let his efforts go to waste. I fought hard and postponed the final chapter twice. Even postponing the volume and fanbook in the process. I'd become an exemplary Great Demon King. A Great Demon King, also known as 'scum'.
An app, by its nature of being serialized online, meant that if I wanted, I could break deadlines like crazy. For scum like me, it was truly a forbidden demon tool. With magazines, it has a physical product that has to be shipped and physically sold all over the country, so there was no way a deadline could be moved. But with an app, you're free to decide the day it goes out on your own, and the deadlines are flimsy at best.
And sure enough, if you put scum in a situation like that, he'll take full advantage and stretch everything to the nth degree. Even the cypress stick at my crotch was soft and limp. But while I fought and fought, my attacks just weren't getting past his defenses, and rotted Isaka Level 33 was constantly casting Thwack at me. Darn it! Just one more! If I can just get one more attack in, I can win! What do I do...?!! Just as he was mired in a desperate situation that seemed to have no way out, from behind the scum came a huge cloud of Sweet Breath!! As the Demon King (enemy) cried out in agony and was halted in place, the Demon King (scum) turned around to look at what was behind him. There, he saw crawling out of the army of caskets, rotted Oonishi, rotted Saitou, rotted Jellybeans, rotted Babakonga, rotted Naitou, and rotted Manabe. The editors that had made Gintama with me during its many years had stood up.
Bottom: *The 3rd editor, Nakasaki, was rotting off in Hokkaidou for work.
(Continued on Page 122)
There's an urban legend that says when a series in jump ends, all the editors that had had a hand in it over its run come to get the final manuscript, congratulate the author on a job well done, and present the author with flowers. But whoever would've expected they'd come to the studio of a mangaka that had been chased out of Jump?
'Quick, while our Sweet Breath has the enemy restrained! Gooo, scum!!'
'Those fools, poking their noses in where they don't belong... Blast it, my eyesight is getting foggy...' So then I roused by cypress stick and in a bright flash of spirit...
'Take thiiiis! My finaly attaaaaaack!!'
I launched an attack with all my might right at the demon king's forehead! DODOOOOOON! With an eart-shaking thud, the demon king's massive body fell to the ground, I received 360,000 experience points, and I picked up seven or eight blank manuscript papers. Er, well I forget if I picked them up or not, but there were seven or eight blank pages left. If the rotted editors from the whole run of your series showed up and they seemed like they were ready to pick up the final manuscript right at that moment, even having bundles of flowers behind their backs and surrounding you, what course of action would you take if you still had 7~8 totally blank pages? Well, I decided to break my right leg.
Bottom: (Continued on page 174)
Now, in this situation, an amateur scum would break the bone in their right hand and say 'I can't draw manga anymore!' But of course nothing that convenient would just happen like that. They'd catch on to the lie in a heartbeat. But if you broke your *leg* and then couldn't draw because of the *pain* it was causing, it would come off as way more real. So I said just hold on for one hour for now, and said things like 'Aahh, dammit!' to look like I was trying to put up with the pain in my leg as I was drawing. And then an hour later, you say 'Ah, darn. Sorry, looks like it's gonna take a little longer. Would you mind leaving for a bit? I need to concentrate for this. Why don't you go get something to eat?' So you give off this feeling like you're annoyed at yourself and chase the editors off, and that's when you chain the door. Then you just turn your phone off and viola, confinement complete. It depends on how fortified your house is, but in my case I'd bought 6 or 7 hours. Then you call and say 'Oh, sorry, I forgot the battery in my phone ran out. But I'm all ready now.' and it'll take them two hours to get everybody together there again. At this point, the already rotting editors would now be totally rotted down to liquid form. Down to unrefined sake. Yeah, that's the mature thing to do. Then I was able to hand over the completed manuscript with total peace of mind.
'Sorry I kept you waiting so long. Tehh.'
'BLUB BLUB BLUB (You made us wait too long and now all the flowers are wilted!)' and so I was hit with a with the dried-up flowers you can see on the cover flap.
Oookay, moving on...
Bottom: (Continued on page 220)
So, how did you like my depiction of that disaster that was really brutal even despite my fantasy spin on it? It's a pretty embarrassing story so I thought about just running away without touching on it, but I figured after causing problems for so many people, I just couldn't do that, so I went on for quite a while about it. I'm so very sorry to anyone who was made uncomfortable by that. So as you read, I committed a few acts for which it wouldn't be unusual for me to be disqualified from being a pro and get kicked out of the industry. I might be scolded for writing something like this, but it's been nearly a year since I left Jump, and while this past year of being allowed to keep going until I had an ending I was happy with was difficult at times, it reignited a feeling I'd lost track of in the hectic days of weekly serialization. It reminded me of how I'd felt back when I was a no-name, newbie author, drawing manga just because I liked doing it. And for that, it's time I'll always treasure. So to the editors and everyone involved who risked life and limb to set that up, to my staff who cut years off their lives to make Gintama with me, and most of all the readers who waited so long for me, I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.
It's thanks to all of you that I was able to go back to being just a gorilla that likes manga. I feel like starting it all again from being buck naked with nothing but a cypress G-pen. But the series royalties, those I'm never letting go of.
Bottom: (Continued on page 294)
Okay then, thus concludes the final volume of Gintama, uh, and in fact all of Gintama itself. I didn't talk about the actual story at all, but I've already thrown all my emotions into this manga.
I'll leave the rest to the Yorozuya.
And last but not least, I want to say these words packed with love, gratitude, and penitence to everyone that supported Gintama these past 15 years.
Thank you-corn poooop!!
Bottom: May we meet again someday.