-> RTS Page for Desert Punk 1
Desert Punk, Volume 1, Chapter 1 (pp. 3~34)
=The Kanto Great Desert.//During the day, the temperature rises far above 50° Celsius, and at night, it consistently drops below freezing.
=The ruins of an ancient civilization that disappeared several hundred years ago stretch across it like a graveyard—A sight only befitting of a desert.//This is my workplace.
=I'm the handyman of the desert.
=They call me the Desert Punk.
=So this is the skeleton city of South 15.
=Where the Kawazu Family has its hideout.
=Who the fuck are you—!?
=You got any idea where the hell you are—!?
=You're dead meat, man—!
=You guys looted an oasis vehicle 3 days ago at Water Station 45, right?
=The owner sent me here to take back his loot.
=Lemme tell you something.
=You're dead if you're a government pig.//And you're dead and sliced up if you're a bounty hunter.
=A government officer wouldn't come all the way over to a place like this.
=And bounty hunters are just bullies.//I get work thanks to them.
=Tell me where your idiot boss is,
=And I'll let you guys off the hook.
=Oh... Angry yet?
=This is annoying.
=My body won't move...
=You did this?
=What the hell'd you do!!?
=Colorless, odorless, and super-powerful anesthetic spray!
=I let some out from under my cloak.
=You can really feel it, right—?//See, this stuff is powerful enough to cause brain damage.
=I have a reputation for getting the job done no matter what.
=And I want keep that reputation, so I'm willing to do just about anything.
=Tell me the location of the hideout!
=Wha—t? Masami and the others are missing—?
=They're not picking up.
=They had guard duty today on the west side.
=They're probably getting a good time somewhere.//No after-meal pudding privileges for them.
=Yes sir! I'll tell 'em off re—al hard!
—Thief Gang, Kawazu Family Don, Makoto Kawazu, age 37—
=I'm going to be eating their pudding.
There it is!
=I found this at the entrance!
=I-It's a letter from the Desert Punk—!
=Desert Punk? That's the handyman who's been busting gangs around here with weird tricks and stuff, right?
=Sounds fun.//Read it.
=Dear Mr. Idiot-Boss Kawazu, I've come to hunt you down. Fight me, running is useless. I'm going to fucking kill you. I've already killed three of your idiot henchmen. I've marked the spot so even a smelly asshole like you can find it real easily. Please stop by.
=W-Wow. Gotta hand it to the boss. All these insults and he hasn't budged an eyebrow—
=He's cool as a cucumber.
=...Hm!?//P.S. Yo' mama's got a fat bellybutton.
=Whoa—! Boss is pissed—!
=Does not have a fat bellybutton—!
=He's got the Hulk Disease again—! Run—!
=Dying in a place like this?
=Pretty face and big boobs!
=Are you okay—!?
=Be strong, Miss!
=I-I'm so sorry.
=I just thought you were a bandit...
=It's okay. Those guys are everywhere in these parts. But more importantly,//Why are you dressed in such a sexy... I mean casual outfit? You'll get blisters all over your body, no wonder you were dying back there.
=I was escaping from the Kawazu Family.
=The boss took a liking to me, and forced me to come here,
=U-Unforgivable—! That dirtbag Kawazu—!
[bubble]What kind of things did they do to you?
[bubble]I really wanna know—
=But today, something went on in the hideout, and I managed to escape while they were distracted.
=I barely made it out, and didn't have time to grab any supplies...
=Oh, they were screaming about missing guards and intruders, but//Could that have been...!?
=Dang... So they know already.
=I've got some business to take care of with the Kawazu Family, but I'll be happy to take you back to you home afterwards.
=We can get clothes, water and other supplies from their hideout.
=Now that I'm safe...
=I just—Feel a little weak...
=This person totally needs me right now!
=She's counting on me!//She can't live without me!
Harming such a beautiful girl...
I won't forgive you for this! Kawazu Family!
=By the way, isn't their hideout somewhere around here?
=It's under that red balloon.
=Oh... How obvious.
=There's nothing here.
=That's the Desert Punk? He's really tiny—
=Don't underestimate him. They must've been caught off guard by how tiny he is.//Kill him before he starts using his weird tricks.
[margin]Sound capture device
=Heh, don't piss your pants.
=I'll get him in 1 shot.
=Huh? He's looking over here.
=How'd he find us—!?
=But not as good as rumored.
=Pretty foolish of you to call me out here, but not notice our ambush.
=Call you out??
=You're the boss?
=I was only sent to get that necklace.
=But I've changed my mind and decided to destroy your entire gang.
=Are you crazy!? How do you expect to get outta here alive!?
=Try us, you freaking midget!
=This is for Masami and the others.
=We're not gonna kill you all nice and quickly.
=The three guards? I didn't kill them. I tied them up and threw 'em into one of the building.
=Mommy doesn't have a fat bellybutton.
=That bastard, he's trying to talk his way outta this.
=After sending us that letter!? What a moron!
=What about being a moron? I have no idea what you're talking about.
=Ah—Man, this is annoying—
=I hate when things get all complicated.
=It's a smoke bomb! Kill him—!
=Alright—! That's enough!
=Bring me some minced Desert Punk!
=Yeehaw—! We did it—! We killed the Desert Punk—!
=We're the heroes of the desert—!//Hurray for the Kawazu Family—!
=Huh? There's nothing here.
=Take a better look!
=He just got blown to bits.
=Do you know why they call me the Desert Punk?
=Mama doesn't have a fat bellybutton.
=The boss lost...
=Did he just come down from the sky...?
=That was unreal...
=There's now way he's human...//That guy is...
=Desert Punk! The demon of the desert!
=Hah-hah-hah-hah//Piece o' cake!
=H-Hi there... Ms. Boobs...
=I got a real nice look at everything you did.
1. Detonated the smoke bomb, and used the rocket winch on his back to get on top of the building.
2. Dropped the balloon behind the boss while he was distracted by the explosion.
3. Used the balloon as a diversion,
And moved to a better location.
=My plan worked out perfectly, thanks to you.
=I came to get this thing too.
=We were hired by the same person, of course.
=It's not all that valuable, but I guess it has a lot of sentimental value.
Where'd all that come from?
=I heard he's spent big money trying to get it back.
=Oh... Could it be that...?
=The huge explosion just now...
=I put that balloon up, and placed a bomb right underneath it.
=You're lucky to be alive.
=The man of the hour, Mr. Desert Punk, shows up,
=So I just had to take advantage of the opportunity.
=I set up a showdown with the Kawazu Family,
=Thinking it'd be easier for me if you guys just beat each other up.
=I'm Junko Asagiri.
=I'll do anything if it makes me money.//I'm going to be your rival from now on, so keep an eye out.
=Wait a second, does that mean I got tricked—!?
That means—I look like a total idiot.
=I've gotta get my revenge...
=And I'm gonna give that client a few good whacks and demand 10 times what he paid me.
Taking advantage of a man's pure heart like that—I'll never forget this.
Don't think you've won this yet.
I've got a reputation for getting the job done no matter what.
The Kanto Great Desert. Mankind, the strongest and most ferocious species ever to roam the Earth,
Continues to live on in this hellish desert. Working with reckless abandon to fulfill their never-ending greed.
=Uhh—That bitch. I'm gonna do unimaginably horrible things to her if I catch her.
=This is what I'll do to those huge knockers,
=And that to her...//TEE-HEE
=But man, those things were nice—
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