Desert Punk 4

Desert Punk, Volume 1, Chapter 4 (pp. 99~130)


<99>
He's really really distressed right now.

=SIGH...

He's really really regretting it right now.

=This thing is so cool... Wish I could get one.
[title]Guns Monthly//Shooting & Hunting

He's an individual known as Desert Punk, who's recently made a pretty big name for himself in the Kanto Great Desert.


<100>
=SIGH...
He's Kanta Mizuno,
Handyman for hire.


<101>
=M40A1 Sniping Rifle! 308 caliber! FRP stock! Rubber Mount Unertl 10x scope! 120% precision-calibration!//225,000 yen—
=Urrgh—If I had this baby, I could shoot through a 10 yen coin a kilometer away with my super slick sniping skills—
=He's recently screwed up twice on the job.

=Both his screw-ups involved women.
=They've put him knee-deep in debt, so he really doesn't have any time to spend gazing at magazines.

=Damn, I gotta get the money ready in a week or else the collectors are gonna show up.//Things aren't looking up.

=Huh!?
[x2]KNOCK

=Whaddya want, dammit!?
=You know how late it is!?
GACHUK


<102>
=Good evening.

=Hmm!?

=Huh...!?
=Those boobs!

=Junko Asagiri—!
RAAGH
=AHHH!

=Hey, what do you think you're doing—!?
=Shut up—! I'll never forgive you for what you did!
=Stop touching me!
[x2]THUD
CRI—NK


<103>
=Huh?

=RUB..

SO SOFT
SIGH...

SIGH—
[x2]SNUG
KACHINK

=...BUH!
10,000 yen per touch

=What're you talking about.
=You lost, fair and square.//I can't believe you're still whining about it.


<104>
=Uck!
Sh-She's right

=URR...
S-So embarrassing.
=There you go.

=But I'm so surprised.
=Wh-What?
=That the fabulous Desert Punk is really just a kid.
[x2]*giggle*

=Ah! Nooo! M-My secret identity...!
EE—K
=I knock on Desert Punk's door and out comes a kid who recognizes me and gets all angry.//It's pretty obvious you're Desert Punk.

=S-So... What're you here for?

=Work.
=I've got a job for you.

=I heard you're in some big-time debt.
=H-How did you—!?

=Wait, how'd you find out where I live?
=People like me don't give out their addresses that easily.//The handymans guild keeps it secret.
Depending on your answer, I may have to—
=Oh really?


<105>
=I actually found out from the guild leader, Mr. Mugenya.//He told me about your debt, too.
Please—?
[desk]Guild Leader
=That old bastard...

=Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone.
=You'd be in big trouble if I did.
=That's why you keep your identity a secret, right—?
=...Uhh...

There's lots of sca—ry people in the Kanto Great Desert who'd jump at a chance to get even with the Desert Punk.
If those sca—ry people find out you're living here, I bet some unimaginably horrible things would happen to you—

=I gotta move...
=I-I gotta move... Right now...
[x3]PANIC

=I could sell your address to the scary people,
=But I think it would be more beneficial to cooperate with you.//I'm counting on those skills of yours.
[x4]TREMBLE
[sign]No littering!!


<106>
=Don't worry, I'm not trying to trick you again.
=I'm serious. I can't handle this alone, so I'm asking Mr. Desert Punk for help.
I won't hurt you—

=What's the pay?

=How much is your debt?
=It's 1,683,452 yen, but—

=3,000,000 yen.
=Oh dear.

=I'll pay 6,000,000.
KABOO—M


<107>
=I'll do it!
=Please let me do it!
=Why thank you.

The woman offered no specific details on the job. But she did say they would meet tomorrow morning, "In front of the dried-up well outside the village."
=Bring all your super-powerful equipment—

Kanta Mizuno had a dream that night.

A very nice dream.

=Ahh, so soft...
HUFF—


<108>
=6 million yen, huh—
=I'll pay back all my debt and buy that M40...//Oh wait, maybe I can buy even more stuff—What should I get—? Maybe I should save it up—
[x3]RUB

SQUEEZE
=Ah...

=Ahh
SQUEE—ZE
=I-It's soft, but...

AHHHHHH

The next morning,
One pair of underwear could be seen drying outside of Kanta Mizuno's home.


<109>
[label]Danger

[x3]CLOP

GA-
CHUK

THUD
PLICK
SHUCK

KACHIK
=PSSH—


<110>
=Off to battle!

=Hum hum hum, 6 million yen—

=...Huh!?

=Huh!?


<111>
=D-D-Desert Punk! Wh-What the hell!?
=The Kawaguchi Brothers, aka the Machine Gun Brothers. They're registered in the same handymans guild as Desert Punk.
=We don't wanna see your dirty-ass face first thing in the morning.
[banner]Handyman

=That's my line.
=Imagine how I feel,//Chancing upon three big, smelly, ugly turds on such a fine morning.

=Damn it, you are one annoying little prick...
=M-M-Man, you piss me off!
=Phew—You guys smell.

=Hey, cut it out.
=B-But, bro...
=Big bro.
=We got a big-time job ahead of us, we don't have time to chit-chat with losers.


<112>
=Heh—!//Hee-hah-hah-hah-hah!//Big-time job!? For you triple idiots!?
[x2]HEE—
RRGH

=That's pretty funny coming from a guy who wet his bed and got scolded by his mom just a little while ago!
BWIP
=Childhood friends
=Uck... That was more than 5 years ago!
=And how old were you 5 years ago—? 15, right—?

=Y-You were the one that got chased around by a stray dog when you took a dump in the bushes.//Now that was some funny shit—!
U-URR..
PUSH
=I fucking killed that bitch and ate it! I won!

=You were like this,
EE—K
Help mee—
[x3]HICK
=Dwa-hah-hah-hah-hah!
=What a little bitch!
=H-Hah—I don't have time to deal with you idiots.

=I've also got a super big-time job today.
=And it's gonna get me a ton of money.//I'm on a different level from you guys, got it!?
[x5]TREMBLE

=Ohh—A job for a goofball who got bankrupted by women, huh?
=URR...

=You guys can't even make it on your own.
=You gotta stick you three dirty-ass faces together just to scrape out a living...


<113>
[x3]BRIP

=Sorry I'm late—
=Did I make you guys wait—?
[x2]GACHUK

=Oh no, not at all...

=Hmm!?

=Wait a sec, you guys know//Ms. Boobs?
=What!? You know her too?

=So that big-time job you guys were talking about...

=Hi everyone, we're going to be working together now, okay—?
PHEW—


<114>
=This wasn't part of the deal!
=Hey hey hey he—y!
=We can't work with this asshole!
=Huh?
=Huh—?
=No way!//No way!//No way!//No way!
[x2]BOO—

=I see, so you guys grew up together, huh—
=Yeah, I guess that could be a problem.//Knowing too much about each other...

=Hmm—That's too bad... The power trio of the West Oasis handymans guild,//And the No. 1 trickster, Desert Punk. I thought it'd be perfect if I teamed up with you guys.


<115>
=Okay, I'll add 1 million to each paycheck if we can all work together.
=How's that?

=Ohh—Well, we really do hate each other, but...//You know—
=Y-Yeah...
=W-We shouldn't bring our personal feelings into the workplace—

=It's settled then.
=Alright, here's the job.

=Take me over to the East Oasis.
=That's all.


<116>
=That's it—?
=That's sooo easy.

=Oka—y?
=OHHKA—Y!

=Alright, then let's write up the contracts—!
=Let's write 'em up—!
They should have realized something was up. A low-risk job paying such huge dividends... Of course there was more to the deal. However, all kinds of things had already clouded their judgement.

=Alright, everyone take one of these.

=Rocket launchers?
Aota Missile Shop
M72A2 LAW type
=Isn't this a little bit overkill?

=Maybe we're gonna be fighting monsters or something.
=Hah-hah-hah! Yeah right.


<117>
=Why do we need these things?
=...Hmm?

=The Kong is after me.


<118>
GWHOOSH

=Unstoppable.

=...By Kong, you don't mean...
=Yup, that Kong.

[x4]GU
=Speeding through the desert like a bolt of lightning.

=Kong, as in the Kong that's never ever lost a battle?
=That's right.

Anything standing in the way gets burnt to a crisp.


<119>
=Let's go home.
=I'd rather live in debt than die right now—

=Hey hey, what about these?
=The contracts.

=Breaking a contract is the worst thing you can do in the Kanto Great Desert.
WHISHHH
=Oh my—Nobody's going to trust you anymore, and you'll all die like dogs, despised by everyone.
=...You don't need to remind us.

=...Huh?

=Hey!
=Look!
WHIRRRR


<120>
BA-BA-BA-BA-BOO—M

ZU-ZU-ZU-ZU
=COUGH COUGH!
=B-BLEARGH—//W-What the hell...?
=O-Oww... Oww...
[x4]PLICK

=W-What the heck was that...?
=I thought I was gonna die.
[x4]*tremble*

GU-GU-GU-GU

=...Huh!?


<121>
The strongest entity in the Kanto Great Desert! Heavily armored and heavily armed, this armored vehicle was resurrected from the hellish world of centuries past. The cold killing machine:
Fire Dragon Kong.
BWUUUSH
=K-Kong! How did he show up so quickly!?


<122>
=My my, if it isn't Ms. Junko Asagiri.
=Where might you be headed so early in the morning?

=Whoaa...
=It's the real Kong...
=...How did you find out?

=These past 2 months... I set up an information network and waited for you to make your move.
=Finding you wasn't easy.

=The handymans guild, huh...

=W-What!? This guy's even got influence over the guild!?
=Looks like you've hired some tough-looking bodyguards.//You aren't planning on taking on Kong with those guys, are you?


<123>
=Heh-heh-heh, don't underestimate these four. If you don't think they can take down Kong, then...
=You're in for a big surprise.
=Oh no, no surprises here.
Whoa, easy girl—

=These 4 brave desert warriors,
EE—K
=Have the potential to pull of any upset!
[x3]NOPE
TADAHH—
Not at all—!


=PFFT...
=Heh-heh-heh-heh

=HAH—HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!
=EEK!
UCK

WHUCK..
[x2]GRUCK
GONKK


<124>
=So you still refuse to hand over that key, huh?
=Why do you think I've been running around this whole time?

=...Key?

=Very well then.
=Let's see this so-called "potential."

[x3]BOMP

=Wait...//Stop—!


<125>
[x2]BAM
GONKK

=...I-Is it dead?
=No way...
=Not with a 40mm...
[x2]PLICK
CLA—NK

=What are you waiting for, let's run!
=Huh...? But...
=If we run now, it might think we're on your side.

[x2]WHIRRR
WHUNKK

=Guess there's no point in trying to reason with that thing.
ZU-ZU-ZU
=I-It's coming!


<126>
BWUUUSH
=Run—!


<127>
GU—

TH-TH-TH-TH
=It's over—!
=We're dead! We're totally dead—!

=Th-This isn't good!

=Hey, Haruo!
BWHIP
=Wh-Wh-What—!?

=Yah.
TRIP
THUD
=Whoa!


<128>
=B-Big bro—!
PW-PWIP
TH-THUCK
=Haruo!
=What the hell do you think you're doing, Desert Punk!?

=You're it!
=Buy me some time!
PWI—P
=Wha!?

=You fucking bastard—!
=Whoa—Big Bro...

GWUSH
=Shit!


<129>
=WHOAAAA—

BA-BA-BOO—M


<130>
Today's lesson:
Sweet-sounding deals always have a catch.
And busty chicks aren't always stupid.
It's another hot day in the Kanto Great Desert.
[x3]PLICK