-> RTS Page for Desert Punk 12
All of my translations are RESERVED
Desert Punk, Volume 2, Chapter 12 (pp. 163~194)
=Fuck! It's stuck inside!
[margin note]Sarah Connor's one-handed reload from Terminator 2
=A radar jammer!? Shit—! I messed up!
=I can't see anything!
=My helmet... RRR, I can't take it off with one hand...
=You fucking klutz.
=Gahh—! I-It hu—rts!
=Huh? It wasn't me?
=Heh-heh—! You screwed up, didn't ya.
=Taiko Koizumi//Originally the student of the assassin, Jiro Onuma, who is now following around Desert Punk and trying to become his student because Desert Punk defeated Onuma.
=I saved Desert Punk's life!
=You didn't realize I was following you this whole time?
=Geez... You shouldn't be doing work when your body isn't fully healed yet.
=That's why you're being STUPID enough to load the wrong bullet.
=After all, you GOT LOST IN THE DESERT, Master.
=Well, I understand why you're starting to get a little panicked.
=You got lost and had to be rescued by your arch-rivals, the Kawaguchi Brothers.//You need a huge comeback to get back in the mix.
=Shut up—! I'm gonna fucking kill you!
=I told you I'm not gonna teach you anything, so stop following me around.
=I couldn't follow you last time 'cause you went driving off in a truck,
=But I'm gonna follow you wherever I can.
=Even if you don't accept me as your student, I'm going to stick right by your side,
=So I can steal every single one of your techniques and make them my own.//And someday, I'm going to be...
=The strongest, most skilled, and most beautiful woman—!!
=In the Kanto Great Desert!!
=Desert Punk's hometown.
=You alright? Heard you got lost.
=Hey Desert Punk! You better not get lost in the desert again!
=Seems like the whole town knows about it.
=Really—!? That Desert Punk got lost in the desert—?
=Yep, that's right—! And we were the ones who rescued him!
=So you're the one who's blabbing!
=I'm gonna go plant a bomb in their bathroom again.
=What is it? What's wrong?
=Who's that pretentious looking guy?
=Man, I'm jealous...
And why are we hiding here?
=Wataru Mizuta. Age 20, unemployed.//He's got at least 10 girlfriends! They call him the harem prince!!
=The miracle man who gets all the money he needs from his girlfriends!
=UCK//That's so embarrassing.
=What are you talking about!?
=Being surrounded by beautiful girls and enjoying every single day of your life.
=It's the perfect lifestyle. What more could you ask for?
=A real man—!!
=Sweats, fights, and works to bring home the daily bread and protect his family from the harsh natural environment and malicious enemies!
=That's what a real man does!!
=There's something seriously wrong with your head.
=My body isn't working like I want it to,
=I'm short on money 'cause I had to buy new equipment,//And everyone's making fun of me.
=That makes me even more jealous of Wataru...
=Ahh... The loneliness of being single.
=You won't be alone if you make me your student.
=I can help out around the house a little bit, too.
=It's one thing to have hot girlfriends like Wataru does...//Why would I want help from a cocky little flat-chested brat like you.
=Umm—I'm trying to become your student.
=I don't want to be your girlfriend or anything.
=What I want right now is a good woman. A woman who loves me and does exactly what I want them to.
=I don't need a dumb, annoying appendage of a student.
=You are obviously not a good woman!
=And student or not, your very existence means absolutely positively nothing to me!
=Guess I have no choice but to show you this!
=Whoa—Now this is a good woman.
=Who is this person?
=She's my mother.
That's a pin-up of her before I was born.
=I'm the daughter of the incredibly good woman in this photo.//Which means...
=Yeah. Right now, she's an absolute piece of garbage that doesn't even count as a man or a woman.
=But in 2~3 years...
=They say women really change when they grow up...
So she wasn't just bluffing when she said she was gonna grow big breasts...
=Alright, I'll give you a shot.
=The handyman is the coolest, hardest profession in the entire desert.
=Let's see if you've got what it takes to become that cool and awesome.
=I'm trying to become stronger, not become a handyman, but oh well.
=I'll decide whether to make you my student or not after that!
=Ya—y! I'm gonna try my best—!
Hee-hee-hee, men go down sooo easily when I show them that picture.
How can they be this easy and simpleminded?
Guess I'll make her do all the work for the time being so I can live kind of like Wataru.
And while I wait for her to become a good woman,
=I'll train her mind, body, and spirit—
=In order to make her my ideal woman...
Come to think of it, all the women who screwed me over in the past,
Were strong, independent individuals.
This could be my biggest chance yet.
I'm gonna create my very own paradise!
=And so, Taiko Koizumi was officially registered as Desert Punk's assistant in the West Oasis Handyman's Guild.
=There's a package for you—
=It's too hard—!
=And so not cool—!
=What are you talking about?
=You're a handyman, right?
=Handymen are handymen because they do everything.
=That's true, but...
=I want to help...
=With your actual work...
=Like defeating bandits and stuff...
=Do you realize,
=Why I was able to defeat Jiro Onuma?
=Because I'm a super-skilled handyman.
=He had the upper hand back there,
=But I'm still alive right now, thanks to my experiences as a handyman.
=His sniping skills were top-notch. He must've trained a lot to get that kind of skill.
=But that was all he'd ever trained for.
=On the other hand, I went through all sorts of experiences as a handyman. Just like you are right now.
=I worked really hard. After all, you've got to do the job pretty dang well if you wanna make any money.
=Y-You're right, that guy wasn't very good at getting ahead in life.
Jiro Onuma age 39
=He was just a dumb old geezer.
=Fighting is the same as life. You never know which way things are going to swing.
=You quickly assess the situation, and instantly put it to action!//Confidence and a flexible mind!
=Well, I guess it just goes to show I was superior to Onuma in those aspects.
=You just have to pile up the experience in order to train that stuff.//There are no shortcuts.
=The handyman is an amazing job where you can earn money and sharpen those skills.
=Well? Isn't that awesome?
=That is awesome—!!
=I'm going to work really really hard!
=Yup, it's all going to help you in the long run.
[sign top]West Oasis 30th Water Supply Center
=Yo, I'm here to collect Taiko's paycheck.
=Hee-hee-hee, what % should I skim off?
=Here you go.
=What the heck!?
=I paid it for you, so give me the money back right now.
You sure you wanna keep using that girl?
She spills the manure, fills the chimney with soot... That girl is good for nothing. I heard she's even stealing on the job.
=That fucking brat—!!
She's working under the Desert Punk name, you know. Your reputation's going straight down the gutter these days.
=U-Uhh... She went dog walking for that rich family over on 3rd street, so...
=She should be right around here...
=This appetizing smell... Don't tell me it's...
=I knew it...
=Ahh—! I'm sorry—!//I just got really hungry—!
=Dogs are for eating, aren't they!? I mean, no one actually gets to eat one!//It's weird giving food and going on walks with something like that—!
=All rich people are weirdos! But more importantly...!
=No one gets to eat one—!!
=Because no one has the huge loads of cash you need to buy them—!!
In a few years—
Be patient, be patient. You don't want to spoil your magnificent plans for the future.
I'm gonna train you—!
=*sigh—* That's one more huge piece of debt on my shoulders.
=Hey Kanta, what are you doing at a place like this?
=I was just doing some twilighting.
=Yeah... It's a beautiful sunset.
=You don't seem too happy, Wataru...
=And what happened to your face?
=...Yeah, something came up with my girlfriends.
=I'm getting tired of worrying about girls.
I love all of them equally. I want to get along with all of them.
=Oh well, I have to head over to Naomi's place next.
But I guess they don't see it the way I do.
=So Wataru's got his own problems too, huh—
=I've gotta get back to work too.
A strange duo has been sighted in the Kanto Great Desert.
DP & Kosuna
Desert Punk and his student, Taiko. But neither trust nor respect are held between this master and disciple.
The only things uniting them are cheap reckonings, and an ugly greed.
Ahh... May the gods bless this misfortunate duo.