I Am A Hero 69

*Only for I-M.

tl by molokidan

5)
1: ...any questions?
2: Q-questions?
3: D-do you have a boyfriend?
4: ...is the answer to that question necessary for you to protect that girl?
5: If it is, then I'll answer.
6: Eh? ...ok.
7: Er, I mean, no, it doesn't matter.
8: 'k.

6)
1: Hey, what are you doing?!
2: It's mealtime, come on!
3: U-um...
4: Don't get too close to me, or else it'll look suspicious.
5: Don't let anyone take your gun. There's no telling what they'll do...be careful.
6: ...you can't trust anyone here.

7)
1-2: Hiromi-chan.
3: Ahh, you can keep sleeping. But can I borrow the gun?
4: I'll be right back. Just stay there.

8)
1: Fuckin' zombfags are even in the parking lot.
2: Didn't we have a thermometer somewhere?

9)
1: Ohh, a portable solar panel...
2: Ohhhh, over here, over here!
3: U-umm, who are you?
4: Hahah. The guy you pointed a gun at earlier.
5: Sorry about earlier. I got you some food. It's all just snacks, thouh.
6: Uh, thanks.
7: It's so cool that you have a real gun. Why do you have one?
8: Uh...well.
9: For some reason I feel really hopeful now.

10)
1: I'm Burai.
2: Eh? B, Burai? That's a weird name.
3: Everyone uses fake names here. Real names are kept secret.
4: You know, we've all committed some sort of crime on our way here, right? This way, we don't have to worry about getting arrested when things go back to normal.
5: I-I see.
6: Good work, everyone.
7: We're going to begin the meeting now, so pay attention.

11)
1: Helloooo...I'm S-A-N-G-O, Sango. Thanks to all the day people for their hard work. Night people, I'm counting on you.
2: Alright then, apparently some people crossed the border while we were asleep. So I'd like to have them introduce themselves. By which I mean I'll name them. OK?
3: OK then, old man, you're "Beard Glasses."
4: And you're uh...
5: You don't really have any special characteristics, so you're just "Glasses."
6: But what about JK, who I was so excited to meet? (*tl: JK comes from joshi-kousei, or "high school girl.")
7: Where is she? Why isn't she here?

12)
1: Looks like she has a fever.
2: If it's the flu, then we'll get infected too because we're tired. So she's sleeping alone in the tent.
3: Are you kidding me? The flu, at a time like this?
4: Dammit, just when we got someone underage...
5: Alright, fine, let's try to cheer up and talk about tonight.
6: Since we have more people now, we're gonna have to do a little pruning of what we have. Am I the only one who's been thinking about this stuuuff?

13)
1: Me tooooo!
2: Totally, I agree!!
3: Right, right? Everyone agrees with me, right?
4: I'm unemployed, but I totally subscribe to the "Those who do not work do not eat" mentality.
5: So in short, we're going to have ourselves a court little trial tonight.
6: Waaaah, that sounds fun!
7: Yay! Yay!
8: Iura-kun, you take care of the guilty charges.
9: OK.

14)
1: Putting it simply, the three large duties of the citizens in this country are work, taxes, and military service.
2: The guilty party has rejected these duties, and on top of that, spread their ideology around to other parties, which makes them a national criminal.
3: Wow, Iura-kun, you're so cool!
4: I don't really get it, but I agree!!
5(2b): OK then. Defendant, come ooooon out! Doo-doo-do-doooooo!

15)
1: You people are just playing house here.
2: AND you've all committed atrocious crimes of your own, to boot. Japan is a country governed by law. You need to turn yourselves in at once and take responsibility for your crimes.
3: Damn, you're pissing me off already. You lose one, no, 100 points.
4: Let me just say this. I have friends in the police department, and I know lawyers.
5: If something happens to me, you're in deep trouble, young man.
6: I even know my way around the underworld.
7: Now let me free at once. Unlike you all, I'm a busy man.
8: Hyahaha! Look at this, we have a corrupt adult here talking about law AND the underworld in the same sentence. Hey, someone bring me his cell phone.
9: Ahh, I'll go get it!
10: No, me! me!!

16)
1: Awww, come on, where is it? This place is a mess.
2: Ahh, is it in this trunk?
3: You think all those friends of yours are still alive?
4: Here, I charged your cell phone for you.5
5: Call those big guys you know in the underworld or whatever.
6: Let's find out the truth,
7: old man.

18)
1: Awww, don't tell me they're all dead? I was thinking you'd at least be able to get ahold of one of them. I was getting excited.
2: How sad! I haven't felt this sad since I got skipped every time when my classmates were playing telephone in middle school. And people wonder why I stopped going.
3: ...the world changed in an instant. The society people like you built up got flushed down the shitter, man!
4: I lived a life of transparency, causing no problems to anyone, even making sure I didn't breathe too loud, walking as far off to the side of the road as possible, being as serene as fucking Jiuzhaigou! Yet at graduation, when some shithead thug manages to get a fucking job, my teacher went and cried for him. The world valued shit more than me, so it deserves to go down the shitter!

19)
1: What are you talking about?
2: Listen to me. I have a chronic disease...
3(2b): Anyway, we're done with you. See ya.
4: Death row, prosection! Death row, execution!
5: Commence the death penalty!
6: Hey.

20)
1: Hmph.
2: Woah?!
2: Hey!!
3: Wai

21)
1: Don't you come over here.
2: Jump!! Hyaha.
3: Waaaah
4: Ohhhh, you're just barely hanging on.
5: You baby boomers really do have spirit!!

22)
1: You know, honestly, I'm impressed. I mean, it's thanks to hard workers like you that Japan became as great(?) as it did.
2: Allow me to apologize to you, and your entire generation. I'll spare your life.
3: Ssss