Detroit Metal City 20
N: Here sits the genius Japanese filmmaker, Sawai Sperman Takeshi.
S: Yes, OK!
N: He's widely-known for his underground/cult B-movies.
N: His most popular works include "Beat to Death by a Cop" and "The Pandashark Massacre."
N: He's also known to be an enthusiastic fan of DMC.
N: And so, one day he came to Death Records with a special offer...
N: So, what do you think of the contract, Ms. President?
N: With this project, I was thining of drawing a new picture of love...
N: And with that in mind, I humbly ask that you allow THAT man to make a guest appearance...
P: HYAAHAHAHA!! Just talking about it is making me wet, fuck!!
P: OK!! I'll give Krauzer permission to make an appearance in your movie!
S: T...thank you so much!!
S: ...the contract!!
P: Since Krauzer is a musician, appearing in a movie could end up being a very bad career move.
P: If you put out some piece of shit film, I'm going to fucking kill you, got it?
S: YES MA'AM! Just coming to make this offer, I was already prepared for death!!
S: The other scenes without Krauzer have already been finished, so it'll take three days at max!
P: OK!! Well then, here's your contract back. Get out of my office, shitface!
N: Hoo...we had another release event today.
N: I've been so busy lately, I haven't had time to practice my own music...
N: Sometimes I wish I had my own studio to work at...
W: Hey Negishi, did the boss tell you yet?
W: Seems like they've decided to put you in a movie, dude.
W: Some romance movie by a director named Sawai.
N: A movie..?
N: What does Krauzer have to do with romance..?
W: I heard it's some new type of love story. Isn't that awesome?!
**KAMYU IS FAPPING IN THIS SCENE** (SFX: guni guni guni)
N: I'm gonna be in a movie...
W: And the herione's gonna be Yamano Hanae!!
N: And I'll be cast with Hanae-chan..
N: This girl is so beautiful! (And fashionable!)
Black text: College Years
N: This...this is unbelievable!!
N: I'm going to star in a movie with this girl!
N: I've been cheering her on ever since she first got on stage!! Here's a pamphlet from her initial debut!
Pamphlet Title: Blues of a Blue Composition
O: Dat's great, Souicchan!
N: Yeah! It looks like the President finally gave me a good job!
N: Ahhh...I'm going to become friends with Hanae-chan...what if we fall in love?
N: But she's still only 18...
O: Hey, didja hear the new vinyl from those Day Em Say guys?
N: Ahhhh, but I can't forget that I still have Aikawa-san! (Not like we're going out or anything, though...)
N: Throwing away one of your old girlfriends after becoming famous is such a terrible thing to do! (Not like we're going out or anything, though..)
O: Dey got a lotta other good songs 'sides SHATCHUGAI...
N: Ahh, I wonder what kind of movie it'll be...
N: Well, romance of course....I wonder if it'll be anything like "Roman Holiday?"
N: I've always loved you as well!
O: Oh, acting, eh?
O: Yer good, Souicchan!
N: Hyaan! You're gonna give me a big head, Granpa Shige!
O: Naw, ya got skill!
O: It's the second coming of Yuujirou! (*Japanese actor)
N: Heheh...the road of acting! Not too bad...
N: I was once just another musician...
N: but started the road to becoming an actor from an unexpected incident...
N: I'll become one of the four Gods of Fashion, and make friends with the unique actor Hakazono Makoto-kun!!
N: Makoto-kun, true acting is not acting, you know...
M: How persuasive!
N: My feelings toward you are more solid than a diamond!
O: Amazin'! Yer acting will go all the way to Katsu Shintaro's castle! (*Guy who played Zatoichi)
N: Ahh, it's from the President!
N: Hello, hello? President! I heard it all from Wada-kun!
N: Thank you so much!!
Black: The Next Day
?: Krauzer-san has arrived!
[there is a number jump in the image files, why? I don't know, but I'm just going by the image numbers]
?: This way.
N: Ugggh...I am an idiot...
S: Krauzer-san, it's so great to finally meet you!
S: I'm the director, Sawai Sperman Takeshi!!
N: Even his name sounds Krauzer-ish...
S: I bought your first album, it's so awesome! Amazing! Fantastic!!
N: This guy's a director...?
?: Wow, Mr. Sawai's bowing his head!
?: So that's the famous Krauzer II....
S: Thank you so much for helping us out during your busy schedule!
K: Krauzer-san, here are the main actors you'll be supporting.
H: Nice to meet you! I'm, Yamano Hanae, I'll be playing Yuuko. Let's work well together!
K: Ha...Hanae-chan!! (So cute...)
S: Yamano! If you try to pull any lazy acting, Krauzer-san will rape your ass, got it?!
N: Uuu...what the hell is this idiot saying?
N: You're ruining my image!
M: I'm Hakazono, playing Takeshi.
M: Who the fuck is this guy?
N: Ha...Hakazono Takeshi-kun!!
K: He's gonna be in this movie too?!
S: Dammit, Hakazono, what's with that attitude?! He'll murder you, ya know!!
S: Don't you value your life?
M: Haha, what the hell is wrong with you people?
K: Argh...I can't believe I'm standing in front of these two in THIS outfit...
S: Wh...what's with that bizarre look on Krauzer-san's face?!
S: That was rude of me! So sorry, sir!
K: Uh, okay.
S: I don't mind if you wish to cut out my intestines in anger!!
K: Why is he making such a big deal out of it?
S: The cameramen are already on standby!!
S: Anyway, the first scene we're doing starts with Takeshi and Yuuko eating at a ramen bar.
S: Krauzer-san, you're going to strangle that guy over there from behind.
K: Er...shouldn't I at least have a line or two...or at least a name?
S: Replacing your name would be pure absurdity, Krauzer-san!
S: And of course, you are free to speak whichever lines you want to!!
M: Let's eat this tasty ramen fast so we can get rid of your horn...
K: I...I wonder if this is enough?
Chef: I said, we don't have flesh ramen!!
C: All we have is pork bones!!
S: OK, CUT!!
S: Great job!! Krauzer-san!
S: Now, for the scene when you rub the girl's horn with your eyes rolled back in your head!!
S: It'd help if you could try and say something during this scene!
M: Your horn's getting longer and longer...
H: I wonder if I'll die...
SFX: Shuu shuu shuu
K: Wh...what the hell is this?
K: WHAT THE HELL IS ROMANTIC ABOUT THIS MOVIE?! (My eyes are getting tired)
K: G...groowww~! Grooooowwwwww~~~
N: And so, Krauzer II continued to perform many other scenes...
S: Alright, now for the last one -- the bedroom scene!
M: I guess I lead this one.
M: I'm not gonna really put it in, so just relax, OK?
H: Okay...I'm sorry...it's just that this is the first time I've ever stripped...
K: Hanae-chan's going to get naked?!
K: Isn't it still to early for her to be stripping on camera... (And especially in this kind of movie...)
M: I'm gonna run to the toilet.
K: What the hell is this company thinking...
K: Y...you! Do you truly desire to reveal your supple skin here?
H: N...no. I actually refused...
H: But my company said they already made an agreement with the director...
K: ...'zat so.
H: Y...your last movie, "Schoolyard*Skash" was truly an amazing piece of cinema.
H: Eh...you've seen it? (A romantic comedy?)
K: A...as a demon, I must not let a single creation pass by my eyes unnoticed...
K: Although I was not interested in it, I didn't dislike that pure and innocent performance you so expertly pulled off. The choral scene in the basement also somehow touched my heart. Thenm, the last scene at twilight when you ride together on the bicycle? That would make even ME cry!
H: I...I'm really glad! (You thought that deep about it?)
S: Alright, so now it's time for the hot sex scene after Yuuko brings the sick Takeshi some rice gruel!
S: Krauzer-san, you also have to think of something to do in this scene!
M: I'm sorry...getting a cold when your horn's in such a condition..
H: It's alright...come, eat your rice gruel.
K: Uuu..wait, stop...
K: Hanae-chan...you can't do this bedroom scene!
H: Open up~
S: This entire scene is resting on Krauzer-san's performance...
K: has to stop this!
S: Please, please...
K: Dammit! At this rate, Hanae-chan...
K: If no one's going to stop her, then..
K: I'LL STOP HER BY FORCE!!
S: Ahh, that's...!!
S: Krauzer-san's charging up for a "Demon Jewel!"
S: This last scene is going to be phemonenal!
S: Alright! Everyone, channel your evil power towards Krauzer-san!!
C: Uhhh, what are you doing, director...
S: IT WENT IN!!
SFX: Mogu mogu
M: This feels weird...
M: Hold on a second, stop this scene, director!
M: Who the hell does this guy think he is?!
H: Did he..spit?
K: The Demon Jewel is a must to coordinate this Spring season!
S: YES, that was perfect, the last scene is finished!!
S: Once we get it edited, we'll have a finished-up photo shoot!!
[TRACK 20 - END]
A famous movie starring Audrey Hepburn, directed by William Wyler. Subjects The beauty of romance, love, and thoughts in the movie still have a charm that persists today. It can be said that there are many other films today that have been influenced by it.
[Usage Example] Detroit Metal City? Ohhh, Japanese Roman Holiday, right??
(**I have no idea where the joke is in that either.)
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