Detroit Metal City 21
Sign Top: THE FIRST PRIVATE SCREENING OF:
Sign center: "No Bire" (*The japanese word for grow is "Nobire," and this is an altering of the word to make it seem like some stereotypical 'cool' engrish title that are so often used by Japanese movie studios)
Sign bottom right corner: Title by: Krauzer-san
H: Well then, before we begin the movie, let's have a word or two from everyone.
H: Shall we start with the leading actress?
H: I'm Yamano Hanae, and I play the girl who has a horn come out of her head, Yuuko.
H: I expressed the sadness of a girl who has a horn come out of her head with 100% of my heart..I hope you all enjoy watching.
M: Uhhh, I'm Hakazono Makoto, I play Takeshi, the guy that helps out Yuuko, the girl with a horn coming out of her head.
M: After reading the script, I chose to fully become my character and concentrated hard during my performance.
?: Makoto-kun is so cool! I wonder why he decided to get involved with this movie?
?: In an interview, he said this movie is an important step in his career.
?: Hey, look at THIS guy!!
K: I'm Krauzer II, the guy that strangles some random guy to death and rubs on the horn with my eyes in the back of my head.
K: In the movie, I play myself, which was a lot of fun for me.
C: Krauzer-san, I came to see you!! (It's my first time to a private screening!)
C: Krauzer-san really does sound like an actor's name!
C: Now your influence has reached the movies!!
C: I love this director, so I'm super excited!!
K: Uuu...even such a small movie as this has to have a screening, I guess...
?: Don't those idiots know where they are? I wish they'd shut up!!
C: GO TO DMC!
C: GO TO DMC!
?: They must be that stuffed-animal's fans.
P: It'll be interesting to see what kinda flick this turns out to be...
P: If it's some shitfest that doesn't make me wet, I'll stop it from being released to the public immediately!!
M: What is it with that stupid shout?
C: GO TO DMC!
H: Krauzer-san, you're so popular!
K: Uuu..even the President's here...this is making me nervous..
C: GO TO DMC!
C: Woah!! That girl's talking so happily with Krauzer-san!!
K: Ugh...quit it, you idiots!!
C: She must've been raped by him already!!
C: Yeah, she musta already got her 'congratulations' from him! Haha!!
H: Now then, director, any closing comments?
S: With this movie, I drew a true portrait of love. With that said, love is a formless thing that is not easy to obtain.
S: As humans, however, we are disgusting creatures drawn to such paradoces...such "garbage." And from the stench that wafts from such shit comes that "love" we seek...and in turn, the feelings and emotions that make up this film.
H: Well then! Time for the screening to begin.
K: Uuu...now the President's sitting behind me...I don't want to watch this, I want to go home!!
S: President, please sit back and enjoy!!
?: It's begun!
M: We've been going out for a year now, haven't we?
K: Wh...what? This scene isn't bad...
H: I want to be with you forever, Takeshi.
K: I didn't know this movie was so good...
C: Oi!! It's been two minutes already, and still no Krauzer-san?!
C: What the fuck is this shit!!
C: Krauzer-san should be in the scene from start to finish, goddamit it!!
H: Let's eat out tonight, shall we?
K: Takeshi-kun and Yuuko-chan are always together...
M: Happy together, just the two of them...
C: It's been 42 minutes!!
S: Now watch this, President...
H: I've been having really bad headaches lately...
H: Here, look at my head.
M: Ah, a horn!!
Server: I...I'll reimburse you for the armor immediately!
S: Please forgive me!!
C: WOAHHH!! There's Krauzer-san!! (There, there, there!!)
C: Ehh, where?!
C: I just saw him!!
K: He's making the waiter kneel to him!!
K: Uuu...and it was getting so good, too..
M: We should really go to the hospital...
P: Ooooooooh, fuuuuuuck!!
S: YES!! THe President's happy!!
D: We've got the results of the x-ray back, and we can't seem to find the source of infection.
H: ...is that so?
Sick person: S..stop it, please...
C: Woahh, Krauzer-san drank all of that sick guy's IV in a single gulp!
C: He musta been thirsty!!
C: So cool!!
H: That doesn't really go with the script...
H: Well, they gave me some medicine, but not knowing the source..?
Grandma: I...it hurts!!
C: Krauzer-san's riding the train on that grandma's lap!! (Even though the next seat's empty!)
M: Don't cry, Yuuko...if you drink the medicine, you'll probably feel better.
H: You probably...think I'm ugly now...
M: No way! No matter what happens to you, Yuuko..
M: I'll always love you!
K: Ahh...this is really kinda...
K: (both big bubbles) GROW GROW GROW GROW
M: Th..the horn...!!
H: Ooh, my head still hurts..
C: There it is! Krauzer-san's "10,000 Hands of Horn-Growing-ness and Death!" (*I'm not making this up)
C: NO BIRE! NO BIRE!
C: That girl's true form must be a demon!
K: Uu...what the hell is this?
M: Those bastards are really noisy...
M: I bet they don't understand a thing about my delicate acting...
P: HAAAHAHAH!! This is excellent, Sperman!!
S: Heheh...you haven't seen anything yet, President...
S: Still to come is Krauzer-san's ad-libbing, as well as the places where I randomly changed the script around...
S: Where all my efforts come to a glorious fruition!!
H: Takeshi, you should go to sleep.
M: I'm sorry...getting a cold when your horn's in such a condition..
H: It's alright...come, eat your rice gruel.
H: Open up~
C: What's this weird sound?
C: Screams of the dead...?
C: Wait, could this be...
C: NO WAY!!
K: They were just using me the entire time...
C: Ahhh, look!!
C: It really is...
K: All the evil power in the entire world is slowly being channeled into Krauzer-san...
K: THE DEMON JEWEL!!
C: IT WENT IN!!
M: This feels weird...
SFX: mogu mogu
M: Hold on a second, stop this scene, director!
M: Who the hell does this guy think he is?!
K: ...to coordinate this Spring season!
M: Huh? This is the part when that dumbass said his lame ad-lib...
C: Wh...what is this...
C: What's going on...
M: What is this, the rice gruel? It feels kinda squishy, but at the same time, somewhat thick...
M: My clothes are all sticky now! I was supposed to be eating dinner all stylishly, wasn't I?!
K: Swallowing my Demon Jewel, your clothes getting sticky...it only means one thing!
M: Huh? What the hell are you...
SFX: ibi, rukyu, nani, gofyu, ribo
K: YOU ARE ALREADY UNFASHIONABLE!! (*This is a joke harkening back to the manga/anime Hokuto no Ken [Fist of the North Star] which featured a kung-fu hero who would beat the shit out of his opponents, but afterwards they would still be standing for a few seconds and be like 'Haha! You have not hurt me!' But then he would say his classic line, 'You are already dead!' and they would explode into a symphony of death and gore.)
C: WOAHHH!! Krauzer-san kicks ass!!
C: GO TO DMC!
C: GO TO DMC!
C: This movie's gotta win at least one Academy Award!!
H: What...just happened?
K: I'm sorry, you two...this is my fault..
M: Are you kidding me?! They manipulated my footage!!
P: HYAHAHA!! That hit the spot! Fuckin' crazy movie, yesss!!
N: And so, the President loved No Bire.
N: However, due to a judgement by the production company, its release date was postponed.
N: It was postponed? Thank god...
[TRACK 21 - END]
An award given out to many different movies by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. It is widely-known as the most popular movie award, and covers a variety of different categories. If you rent a porno at the same time as an Academy Award-winning movie, then people will see you as a gentleman and think "There's no way they came in just for the porno."
[Usage Example] But the movie he rented won an Academy Award! Can't I go sleep over! I said, we're not gonna do anything bad!!
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