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translation-needs-proofread

Hoop Men 11

Let’s go scouting

en
+ posted by Mr. Prince as translation on Jun 15, 2009 20:23 | Go to Hoop Men

-> RTS Page for Hoop Men 11

Can I apply for a rank called "lazy bum translator"? I currently really lack some drive...right now I should analyze some poetry for university rather than getting this translation ready I started more than a week ago.
But on the other hand, translating is fun. I'm getting faster and I need to use the denshi jisho a lot less frequently - that makes me happy. : )

If you read this and feel like helping: This chapter as well as chap 10 still could need a check up by some versed English speaker!
(Of course: Thanks to all the guys from the accuracy checking, too. I really appreciate your work!)

-----------------------------------

-page 1-
Yuuho: Satou-kun (name assumed) I’ll surpass you…it’s decided!!!!
Nakanishi: Hell yeah, that’s the way, Yuuho!!!
Shit, my position as a starter will be in danger!!
Yuuho: Hmpf…you’re exaggerating…
It’s only the start from here
Koganei: Satou-kun…
Yuuho: What’s it, Koganei? I’m busy right now, you know
Koganei: Oh no!! Stop calling me Koganei!!
I want to be called by my assumed name as well…!!!

よみがえるあの興奮が...いきすぎて!?
His restored drive…is going a bit over the top!? (side)

-page 2-
Koganei: Just call me by my assumed name: Satou Mao…♡
Yuuho: Hey there…no need for that to be just assumed
Koganei: Ah!! That’s right ♡ Stupid me ♡
Fellow 1: ……That guy being like that
Usually you would think he’s sick or something
Eguchi: Seems like you’ve been quite in a good mood lately, Yuuho?
Yuuho: Yeah, seems so…you know, like
Ever since that game against Toki Central my tension’s been piling up
チームとしても
オレ個人も1つ上のステージに上がれたっ
てのはあるよね
あ コレ
伝わるかなー
日本一目指すメンタリ
Yuuho: As a team, and individually, we've really taken a step up onto another stage. Oh yeah, and just so that you know it, we’ve set our minds on becoming Japan’s number one!
Fellow 1: Oh shuddup! Quit it! Really, just let it be
Eguchi: Hahaha…since the basketball club’s having a day off, why don’t you come messing about with us so I can listen to your martial story?
Yuuho: Sorry, Eguchi!! Got some business to do today…
There’s a person waiting for me <at the school gate>
Eguchi: A person? …who might that be?

-page 3-
Taking the next step / that girl waiting for Yuuho… / That’s…!? (in picture)

Fellow 1: …..um…. / Who’s that? // …his girlfriend? // Damn, it’s come true!! I always thought that this might happen one day!!
ユーホだろーが何だろーが「バスケ部」ってだけでカッコイイとか勘違いしちやうバカ女
A woman stupid enough to mistakenly think that Yuuho’s from the basketball club and therefore has to be some super cool guy [TN: All the same bubble since “damn”]
<sfx: shiii~t>
Eguchi: Ah, no… / I’m quite sure, that girl’s…

-page 4-
Captain Ideguchi: Hey // Sorry about earlier // Today you guys really gave it to us
Other Tokiwa player: Haha…but Yashiba’s become really strong and it’s not just their new members who joined / Nakanishi and the others have also improved
Yuuho: …what’s this atmosphere? Someone go reply to them…huh, what? Me? I’ve got to!? // Ah no, not at all…hahaha
Ideguchi: If we’re facing each other at the summer tournament it won’t be the same as today, you better remember that
Yuuho: Ah…yes!!!

-page 5-
Tokiwa player: Ah~ well, looks like we really got a long way to go before we can beat teams like Souei, haha
Yuuho: Souei? // …when they said Souei did they mean Souei Academy? Is their basketball club strong?
Haraguchi: You bet! / They’ve been the rulers of Tokyo for more than 10 years now
Yuuho: Wow…!! / Speaking of it, Souei isn’t that… // Yo!
Fellow 1: His cousin!? That girl!? [TN: In the Japanese it’s literally “Cousin? Yuuhos?” but that sounds just off so I put it like that to fill both bubbles]
Eguchi: Yeah, yeah. That’s Hana-chan. / They had been together until elementary school…if I’m not mistaken she’s attending Souei Academy now…
Box: And so…

-page 6-
Box continued: I thought, if we’re aiming for top of the country, we got to know the current rulers
Yuuho: Hey Hana, been a long time…
何か情報が聞き出せるかもと思って 電話してみたら何つう偶然
Box: So when I called her, thinking about trying to get some information from her, as luck would have it…
Haraguchi: SAY WHA~T!!? / The manager of Souei’s basketball club is Yuuho’s cousin!? // And she’s so cute…!!!!
Hana: What? No…

-page 7-
Hana: Yuuho-chi~n…you said you’d be alo~ne…
Yuuho: Yeah, that one’s a bit of a weird guy but don’t mind him // So anyway, I called and asked her if she could give us some information or something / And it seems like Souei’s coach said, it’d be ok for us to watch their training!!
Yashiba guys: For real!!!?
Hana: So why Yuuho-chi~n…you know I’m no good with this kind of situation, don’t you / Uwa~h, there’s also a foreigner…what’s he staring at…? / Ahh~~…
Yuuho: Oh just shuddup already, you’re still not cured of that shyness of yours?
Haraguchi: Yuuho, you bastard!!! Watch you tongue!!!
<sfx Hana: *whisper, whisper*>
<sfx Haraguchi: Hey~>

Atsumu: Hey there / it’s OK to let us watch since it’s just Yashiba? / Like, there’s no way you’d lose to a team like us?

-page 8-
Hana: Ah no, it’s like…uwa~…Yuuho-chin, no good / A super hot guy’s talking to me, what shall I do!!?
Yuuho: Oh geez!! You idiot girl!! I asked for your help so speak clearly!! You’re embarrassing me!!!
Haraguchi: Yuuho!!! Who’s an idiot, huh!? Who’s an idiot!!?
Atsumu: Seems like we’re taken lightly…
Hana: Oh no!!! / It’s like, we won’t lose to anybody in Tokyo this year, that’s for sure!!! / So, it’s got nothing to do with Yashiba or anything!!! I swear… / Snap!! <I said it>

-page 9-
Atsumu: I see // Well…let’s go then, off to Souei Academy
Hana: Uwa~h!!!
Haraguchi: Woah, stop it!! Atsumu!!!
Yuuho: Quit it!! It’s gross!!! From a relative’s point of view!!
Box: There’s no such thing like a certain victory, I thought // But after seeing Souei Academy’s training my feelings of aiming for the nationals were rocked, that’s for sure
Souei Academy – Gym

-page 10-
Haraguchi: Wow…that many!!
Yuuho: There are even more than at Toki Central
Hana: Yuuho-chin!! Please watch from above!!
異様に感じられるほど機械的なリズムで進んでいく練習と / 時に"ケンカしてんの!?"と勘違いしてしまうような部員達の気迫に圧倒されて
Box: They continued their training with a mechanical rhythm to a point where it almost felt strange / Sometimes we were so overwhelmed by everyone’s spirits we mistakenly thought they were having a fight / We went there to scout them but I don’t remember much of when I was watching them… / Just the things Haraguchi said…
Haraguchi: I want to watch more events like this <Everyone’s overwhelming>

-page 11-
Haru: Oh supinator muscle…
Josh: They’re amazing… / They’re individual level is really high… / …but even among those… number 10 and number 9 are a whole different story…!!!
Box: And I also remember how Josh kept on saying those lines over and over
Yuuho: Yeah // No doubt…they’re formidable but…
Box: The thing that had the biggest impact on me was when we went to greet the coach after training was over…

-page 12-
no text – just a single eyebrowed giant

-page 13-
Yuuho: Thanks for today, Hana!! // That one huge guy was amazing!! It’s the first time I saw a human that tall!!
Box: To be honest, I was ticked off! // And I understood Hana’s confidence back then
Hana: Ahh~~!! You mean Akita-kun, don’t you!? // He’s a first year just like we are!!
Yuuho: Say what!!? You kidding!!?
Box: Though I don’t know when Hana became interested in basketball
Hana: In current high school basketball there are a lot of teams that emphasize swift attacks like run & shoot or use big guys as their axis // But our five guys’ greatest strength is that they are balanced enough to adapt to any type of opponent
Box: And she explained to us why this year’s Souei is that strong of a team / I mean, c’mon, give us a break already

-page 14-
練習を見た後から そいつらが 発してる空気だけで
創瑛がいかに 遠い存在なのかはわかってんだから
Box: After we saw them practice, just from the atmosphere those guys were exuding / We easily understood just how far out of our league Souei was.
Yuuho: …oh well // we’ll puzzle something out, right Josh!? // We’ll just puzzle something out, right!? Let’s go to the nationals!!
Josh: …no… // If you’re looking at it calmly…I don’t think the current Yashiba can win against Souei… / Now matter how you split it…
Haraguchi: What’s it?

-page 15-
Haraguchi: Ah…yeah…even when from Souei’s three key figures number 10 and 9 are marked by Josh and Atsumu…there’s still no one to take or of that number 15 / In terms of height there’s Atsumu but when it’s a battle of power…and we can’t leave that number 9 unmarked either…
Haraguchi: That’s true… / I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone that big in whole Yashiba High
Yuuho: …it’s a real barrier blocking our way to the nationals…
Haraguchi: Wait, there is one!! A huge guy!!
<sfx Yuuho: There is?>
Komuta: Oh~!! Haraguchi-ku~n!! / You realised!? You really realised!!?
<sfx >Yuuho: Who?>
Haraguchi: But you know…that guy…seems like he got into yet another fight…

-page 16-
Atsumu: That guy’s too much of an idiot

-page 17-
戦えど戦えど / 心の乾きが増していくのは / 宿命の敵に出会ってしまったから / 感じる
Delinquent: To battle and battle / I can feel it / the thirst in my heart is swelling / since I have met my destined rival [TN: Thanks to Laika for his suggestions here!!]

-page 18-
血が 肉が 骨が 魂が / 俺を構成する全てが / 奴との戦いを欲している
Delinquent: My blood, flesh, bones and soul / everything that composes me / craves for a fight with that bastard…

-page 19-
Delinquent: …Komuta…!!!

The guy that’s supposed to become Yashiba’s key in the future – a super dangerous person!!

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#1. by DJ Tenkal ()
Posted on Jun 15, 2009
Thanks..I've been waiting for this chapter from you...-.-
#2. by predsfan ()
Posted on Jun 16, 2009
Thanks a lot for the translation.
#3. by Laika ()
Posted on Jun 16, 2009
練習を見た後から そいつらが 発してる空気だけで
創瑛がいかに 遠い存在なのかはわかってんだから

After we saw them practice, just from the [atmosphere/spirit/mood] those guys were exuding [alone]
We understood just how great the difference of ability was for Souei.
We understood just how much of a greater extistance Souei was.
We understood just how far out of our league Souei was.

I just like the Japanese phrasing even though it sounds stupid in English...
Difference of ability/strength is really all that you can use that would be the most natural I guess. 3 might be nice to keep the same description of distance while maintaining some sort of spacial equivalent to "sonzai" in league.

異様に感じられるほど機械的なリズムで進んでいく練習と / 時に"ケンカしてんの!?"と勘違いしてしまうような部員達の気迫に圧倒されて

They continued their training with a mechanical rhythm to a point where it almost felt strange. / Sometimes we were so overwhelmed by the spirits of the team members that we [mistakenly/got the wrong impression] and thought, "Are they fighting!?"

I don't think the part about picking a fight seems right.

チームとしても オレ個人も1つ上のステージに上がれたってのはあるよね
あ コレ伝わるかなー日本一目指すメンタリ

I don't think I would start this with, "If" and would emphasize _have_ for the "のはあるよね" part

As a team, and individually, we _have_ taken a step up onto another stage
Oh, and I wonder if you can tell...

戦えど戦えど / 心の乾きが増していくのは / 宿命の敵に出会ってしまったから / 感じる
Delinquent: I fight and fight / and the drought of my heart increases / because I feel / I have met my destined rival [TN: That guy speaks…weird.]

Since it seems like he's a strange character already I would just make him say weird things...
To battle, to battle!/ I feel [it!]/ that thirst in my heart swell[s / ing]/ because I've met my destined rival!!!!!!!!!!!

Swelling contrasts with thirst and play with dry/moist imagery as well as works nicely with the image of a heart bursting. If it really is a weird character and not just in the way he speaks, I'd probably do something silly like this.

血が 肉が 骨が 魂が / 俺を構成する全てが / 奴との戦いを欲している
Delinquent: My blood, my flesh, my bones and my soul / everything that composes me / craves for fighting with that guy…

Cause it's fun to make it dramatic, I'd probably end up dropping the and for the first part and for the end just put it craves for a fight with that bastard.
#4. by Mr. Prince (MH's Best Translator)
Posted on Jun 16, 2009
Thank you very much Laika!!
I really like how you put the passage about their atmosphere and the difference in strength. : )
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