Kamen no Maid Guy
-> RTS Page for Kamen no Maid Guy 9
Naeka: Alright Kosuke. // Sit here for a moment.
Kosuke: …When you say sit here, do you mean on top of the scale? // I don’t think you would be able to read it if I sat on it.
Naeka: Then stand on it.
Title: Service Nine
Naeka: 80 kilos. // The verdict: you are too heavy!
Naeka: Gaining too much weight is all pain no gain!! // Therefore, the Fujiwara family shall begin an indefinite diet weekend!!!
Naeka: All members shall participate!!
Kosuke: Ho…Hold on sis, you can’t do that out of the blue like this! // First off, I’m not fat! I’m only plump!
Naeka: Losing to the magical temptation of cake…is proof of a week heart. // Always the diet is broken… but that’s because you aren’t afraid to run a red light if everyone is doing it!
Naeka: Therefore, if everyone works together we can overcome this hurdle! Why can’t you understand your sister’s feelings!? // Kosuke you idiot!
Kosuke: No, I understand too well! Isn’t your real motive to get everyone else to participate because every time you go on a diet you always eat when someone else does!? // No matter how you look at it, don’t you think that’s being too selfish...??
Fubuki: Um, Ms. Naeka, when you say all will participate, you wouldn’t happen to mean us as well?
Naeka: The maids are also part of the Fujiwara family! Of course they are also included!! No one may pull out!!! // You too Kogarashi!
Background: Of course!
Kogarashi: …hmph. // What could you be planning, giving me such an order? // Master!
Naeka: Alright everyone…let’s do our best to reach our target weights…
Background: Do our best… // Yeah…
Narrator: The main character of this story, the 17 year old Naeka Fujiwara, is the only remaining descendent of the leader of the Great Fujiwara financial group, Zenjuro Fujiwara. // Though she does not know it, in several months when she turns 18, she will also become the foremost candidate to inherit the rights to the entire financial group. // In order to protect the girl from those who would seek to usurp her fortune, Zenjuro has sent two maids to protect her. // As such, Naeka’s fate is…!!?
Naeka: I can’t hear you!
Background: Yeah… // Um? // Gulp
Kosuke: If sis is willing to go this far… // That incident must have really been a shock to her…!!!
Sign: Snow Crab: One per person
Fubuki: I’m sorry for making you two help me out.
Naeka: It’s good we were able to get enough for everybody.
Background: We’ll have all sorts of crab dishes tonight!
Fubuki: Mr. Kosuke as well…
Naeka: What’s up Kosuke? You’ve been in a good mood for a while now.
Kosuke: That’s a silly question…look, don’t you get it sis? // Right now I’m walking with a maid. // Walking with a maid… All the other men our jealous of my situation!! // Can you feel it!? All around me are looks of envy and admiration!
Crowd: What? Are you saying that boy is a master at his age!? // My word, he must be a man of the highest caliber!! // Dang it…look at him, flaunting his success! I’m so jealous!! // Oh my, so amazing…hold me! If you touch me I think I would just faint…!!
Kosuke: I can hear everyone’s voices! That’s right, right now I am shining! At this rate I’ll easily make it to be one of the 10 best in the world!! // Ahh…Long live my radiance!!!
Fubuki: Um…The elevator is coming.
Naeka: …Hold this for a second.
Background: Welcome to the 7th floor…
Naeka: Seriously! Both Grandpa and Kosuke, why are the men in our family…
Elevator Girl: My apologies miss. // We appear to be over the weight limit so please wait for the next elevator.
Elevator Girl: Miss?
Elevator Girl: Um, Miss? // We are too heavy with you on, so could you please get off?
Naeka: Th…That woman at the department store said it didn’t she… // That I was heavy…?? // It’s true that recently the food has been so delicious that I can’t help myself, but still…
Naeka: It’s okay Naeka!! The machine must have just made a mistake!! // If I weigh myself I will surely be as light as a feather…That’s right, there is no way I could be heavy…
Background: There is no way!!
Naeka: There is no way…
Background: …It’s true.
Naeka: I…It’s a lie. How could it… // The…the scale must be broken…
Kogarashi: Bwahahahaha…So you noticed master. That scale is definitely broken. // According to my Maid Guy Scan it got your weight wrong by 350 grams! // Compared to what the scale says, your actual weight is 350 grams…
Naeka: Which!? // 350 grams lighter? Heavier? Which!?
Fubuki: …What are you doing Kogarashi?
Kogarashi: …Ngh…I’m thinking while watching the clouds. // If I had been dishonest with my answer to her question just now and said lighter, I wonder what would have happened…
Kosuke: Weight…to a maiden, it is hell trying to avoid it. // In today’s battle to diet down to skin and bones…a demon was born!!!
Naeka: …Therefore we shall have a week long diet. // After we measure our weight and body fat percentages, I expect everyone to diligently work towards their target weights.
Fubuki: …I don’t think dieting is one of a maid’s duties…
Kogarashi: Kukukukuku, what an impudent master you are.
Kogarashi: A Maid Guy dieting is an absurd notion. // Now witness my technique.
Kogarashi: Deadly!! // Maid Guy Levitation!!!
Naeka: Ze… // Zero kg!!!?
Kogarashi: Bwahahahaha, did you expect a scale to be useful to a Maid Guy, you foolish master!!
Naeka: F…Fraud is illegal…!!!
Kogarashi: Kukukukuku, fraud…? What could you be referring to master…?
Fubuki: Oh, Ms. Naeka, would it be okay if I went next?
Fubuki: Levitating super humans don’t exist… // Be assured that I most definitely have a weight.
Fubuki: However… // Is it really necessary for me to diet?
Naeka: 3…35 kg…35 kg’s… // …Such an unbelievable number…Th…the agony of defeat…
Fubuki: Oh, Ms. Naeka, to read my weight out loud in front of a gentleman…
Kogarashi: Do not be fooled master!! // Look closely beneath her feet!!
Kosuke: …It’s hard to see, but here on the scale’s face, a thin needle has been wedged in so the scale can’t move past this weight…
Kogarashi: Haha! Such a childish prank!
Naeka: Fraud is illegal!! // Remove it at once Kosuke…!!!
Fubuki: Wah, wah… // Hol…Hold on…
Naeka: 85 kg!!!
Kosuke: Fu…Fubuki is heavier then I am!?
Fubuki: N…No! Look here, the equipment in my maid uniform weighs about 100 kg!
Kogarashi: So then your real weight is minus 15 kg?
Fubuki: Be silent you traitor…!!!
Background: It’s this! // Are you some kind of balloon?
Kogarashi: Being quick is the basics of being a maid, so being chubby is unacceptable. // You cannot fool my eyes! Even if we deduct the weight of your equipment you are still 2 kg over the ideal weight for a light-weight class maid!! // According to the Maid Guy Scan your current weight is…
Fubuki: Ahh! That’s right! I’ve gotten fat! I’m fat!
Naeka: After subtracting the weight of your weapons, your target weight loss is…what’s your ideal weight?
Fubuki: In order to show up that idiot, I want to lose 3 kg!!
Naeka: 3 kg from that!?
Naeka: Hey Kosuke! Don’t peek!
Background: A maiden’s weight is top secret!
Fubuki: I want to lose 3 kg…!!!
Kosuke: …Thus, there was 1 more demon…
Naeka: Hahaha…This special sauna is really something…
Fubuki: That’s true. // I never would have thought to convert the store room to such a purpose.
Naeka: Also, we have your special metabolism accelerating medicine!
Fubuki: It was made to be effective so the taste is a bit bitter.
Naeka: Gah…Wah, it seems like I’ll get thinner…
Fubuki: However, if you take one a day your diet will be three times as effective.
Naeka: Then, if I take 100 then today’s diet will be 300 times as effective…
Naeka: Wow, hey look at all this sweat.
Fubuki: What are you doing!? Are you an idiot!? Ms. Naeka…!!!
Naeka: Ahaha, My body, mind, and soul are all feeling really light…
Kogarashi: …A woman’s heart is truly terrifying…
Fubuki: Ko…Kogarashi, water…! Water and the first aid kit…!!!
Naeka: Tch…Only this much… // That’s not a whole lot for risking my life…
Background: Just a little more
Fubuki: …If you we had left you like that a little longer, when we got you out of there you would have experienced some truly terrifying weight loss.
Fubuki: …Now that I think about it, where is Mr. Kosuke?
Naeka: Kosuke? // Because he couldn’t come in our sauna I think he went inside the bath’s sauna by himself…
Kosuke: Hah, that was a good bath. // I’m getting a little dizzy though.
Kosuke: Hmm? // What’s wrong you two? // You look like you’ve seen a ghost.
Kosuke: I’m really thirsty.
Naeka: …Ko…Kosuke….th…that body…!? // Just how did you get that incredible slim body…!?
Kosuke: Body? // Oh, now that you mention it I do feel lighter.
Kosuke: However, if you could become thin so easily, you would have no problem.
Naeka: Yeah!! That’s for sure!!! // That’s for damn sure!!!
Kosuke: Wahhh, What are you doing sis…
Kosuke: H…Huh? That’s weird, I gained weight….?
Fubuki: I…I understand how you feel Ms. Naeka, but calm down.
Background: Wahhhhhh, if that were me…
Kogarashi: Ku ku ku…In that case, shall I lend a hand?
Kogarashi: If I sweat I will slim down…That is the thinking of a defeated dog. // At all times and in all places, victory is something you take for yourself! // Behold!!!
Kogarashi: Maid Guy Super Vibrating Claw!!!
Naeka: In…In an instant the apple dried up…!!?
Kogarashi: Kukuku, my super vibrations caused the moisture inside the apple to oscillate and evaporate…
Kogarashi: If you use this in your dieting you will have no trouble reaching your goal. // In your case though, you have those two uselessly huge sacks of flab hanging from your chest that are each about as big as your head! // With my claw’s compressional evaporation you will surely lose several kilograms!!!
Naeka: Sacks of flab!!?
Kogarashi: I can squeeze them away to your heart’s content. // Now, I’m going to squeeze them, the flabby maid and then the flabby master! Now the journey of your amazing diet… // Let us begin!!!
Background: Flabby maid!?
Naeka: …In that case, this is our last option. // We must not only increase what comes out, but also decrease what goes in! // Starting now till an indefinite time, we shall begin fasting!!!
Kosuke: Now hold on, this is ridiculous sis! We’re not a bunch of monks who are practicing austerities in order to achieve enlightenment! // Isn’t it obvious that an indefinite fast is going too far!!?
Naeka: Naïve! You’re naïve Kosuke!!
Naeka: Even a giant dam can be torn down by a single leak. // So if you thoughtlessly eat even a little, it can lead to the whole thing being destroyed!
Naeka: Therefore, because it is always destroyed, we must not eat anything from the very beginning! // If you are going to do it you must risk your life!!!
Kosuke: Risk your life!!!?
Kosuke: This is no longer a demon…it’s the devil himself!! // Truly, my sister is now the devil of dieting!!!
Fubuki: Ms. Naeka, that spirit…
Fubuki: Until we win I shall not desire!! Even if I have to give up my life!!! // I will accept this fast with pleasure!! // Do you think I will let him call me a flabby maid again!!?
Kosuke: …And so there is another devil… // There is no way this diet will end without bloodshed now…
Background: We’re going to do it Fubuki! // Let’s do it Naeka!…Miss.
Kosuke: However, I have no intention of joining them! // The two of you take care…adios!
Kosuke: Wa…Wagh…What are you doing!? Let go…Let me go…
Naeka: Wouldn’t it be better if we locked ourselves in a room so we aren’t interrupted?
Fubuki: You’re right Ms. Naeka! Why don’t we barricade ourselves in the attic!!
Kosuke: Save me Kogarashi…
Kosuke: It’s my rule to treat nothing as important as food…!
Kogarashi: …Oh boy. // Just how troublesome can these masters be…!!
SFX: Bew, Bew, Bew
Background: Coordinates confirmed!
Kogarashi: It’s already been a few days since they secluded themselves in the attic! Their consciousness has begun to dim and they can’t tell their dreams apart from reality!! // Take this! Deadly Day Dreaming Maid Guy Illusion!!!
SFX: Bew // Baw, Baw, Baw
SFX: Baw, Baw, Baw, Baw, Baw, Baw, Baw
Kogarashi: To master, I will send an image of her diet only causing her bust to shrink!!!
Background: Wahhhhh, It’s to big…
SFX: Bew // Baw, Baw, Baw, Baw, Baw, Baw
Kogarashi: And now you, flabby maid! It’s your embarrassing but exciting flat-chested debut!! // Your bust as well shall cave in before your very eyes!!!
Background: Wahhhhh, this is too much…
SFX: Baw, Baw, Baw, Baw
Kogarashi: Now then, next shall we try a scenario in which a dieting mistake caused you to become a man? // No, wait a minute! What if we have it happen to only one of your breasts!! // When you choose to seclude yourself you also ensured you would have no means of escape! // Bwahahahaha!! Even if you close your eyes it won’t disappear! Accept my deadly illusion!!
SFX: Baw, Baw, Baw // Bi, Bi, Bi, Bo, Bo
Background: I shall torture you with this nightmare till you snap out of it!! // N…o…H…e…l…p // Wah…A beard…and leg hair…
SFX: Baw, Baw, Baw
Kogarashi: Kukukukuku…Unless you people come down here, the illusion hell will continue. // Your extreme dieting is causing problems for no reason. // It would be best if you just stopped this and ate something…!
Kogarashi: …Honestly, I will never understand the things you people do. // Putting greater priority on your own weight over your master’s safety. You clumsy maid!
Fubuki: I can not apologize eno…Cl…Clumsy maid…!
Background: Let’s dig in
Naeka: Ah…Ah… // In the end I just rebounded back to where I started…
Naeka: I guess dieting really is something you can only do little by little every day…
Kosuke: Getting thin really is a lot of trouble.
Naeka: And why are you the only one to get slim again you traitor…!!!
Kosuke: Ugh, It will be a problem if a have no clothes to wear.
Background: Wahhhhh…I’m so jealous… // Everything’s so baggy now…
Background: Uh oh…
Fubuki: Hahaha… // It seems I too have gone back to where I started…
Naeka: Then let’s do our best to diet again tomorrow!
Naeka: Yeah…Fubuki… // My best friend…
Fubuki: Ah…O…Oh Ms. Naeka.
Naeka: Fubuki, what just dropped out of your skirt? // …It looks like a weight with 3kg written on it.
Fubuki: …How did that get there?
Narration: Fujiwara family diet week results report… // Kosuke Fujiwara, minus 28 kg (Target Reached) // Fubuki, minus 3 kg (Target Reached) // Naeka Fujiwara, plus 2 kg (Failure)
Naeka: Wah, why was I the only one who ended up failing their diet…!!? // Kogarashi! Food…!!!
Kogarashi: So now you’re just going to binge on food…!!!!!
Fubuki: Pl…Please calm down Ms. Naeka…!!!
Background: Dieting – It is a maiden’s life or death battle. // You endure and you lose weight, you eat and you gain weight, it’s a vicious cycle. // As your battle continues I wish you girls luck for the future…!
Kogarashi: Now that you mention it, that alarm that went off when you rode the elevator, // Wasn’t it because this overweight maid was riding it?
Naeka: Kogarashi! I want you to add 3 kg worth of food to Fubuki’s portion…!!!
Narration: Naeka Fujiwara, 17 years old // The day she inherits her fortune is still 124 days away…