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Psyren 93
CALL 93. "Friend #1"
Reserved for Binktopia. <3
Damm, I did shit in my English exam today... >.>
Ah, well, now I've got nearly a month long break! \o/
Again, I'm not great with making Kagetora speak Yakuza-ish, so suggestions are welcome. :D
Left text: Riko's "Demon" emerges!
-CALL 93. "Friend #1"
-Toshiaki Iwashiro
-Gaaargh!
-Bohaarg...
2:
-Blergh!! Peh! Peh!
3:
-It self destructed... / So dis is da ability of da kid Lan told us about.
-Dude, that was seriously bad! Goddammit, it's not a joke!
-Dey ran, huh?
*sniff*
-No...They're close! At dis rate we can catch up ta them!!
-Are you a friggin' bloodhound...!?
4:
-At the moment that kid seems unable to maintain her power for a long periods of time...but if she grows up, we're screwed.
--So they're usin' da kids who don't know what's right an' wrong yet.... It seems Amagi Miroku's school is plotting somethin' dangerous...
-Haruhiko, yous go back an' treat Lan. I'm gonna go chase after dose two.
-Hey, you tryin' to look down on me? Don't exclude me from the fight!!
-Yous hurt yer left leg a whiles ago... so yous won't be able ta run.
-It's my fault that it turned out dis way. I'll take care of da rest.
5:
-God... / dammit...
-He's outta my league...
-I'm... as useless as shit...
6:
-Oooh~
-Uwaah~ Junas is so fast~
-Riko Hachiboshi... why did you help me...?
-What made you decide to help a perfect stranger, someone you just met...?
-Fa...?
-Fa... / FAYT! ...that's why!
7:
-Junas isn't a stranger! He's my first #1 friend! / He's a very, very important person to me!
-FAYT!!
-It's... Fayt!
-Ah... you mean "Fate"?
-I see. So I'm you're Number 1 friend, huh...
-FA...FAYT!!
-Bite your tongue, Riko.
8:
*beep*
-...So Amagi Miroku's friends are at the school...
-I'm sorry I can't explain the situation in more detail... will you be okay, Kagetora?
-Nee-san, yous gots nothin' to be apologising for!
-I plan on chasin' dese guys an' locate dere hidin' place.
-They're already on alert so don't do anything reckless...How many days can you hold out?
-Well, at dis speed 6 days.
-Alright, 4 days... If you can't get 'em within 4 days I want you to come back.
9:
-No, but...
-I don't want to lose you! Come back safe, Kagetora.
-....Understood....
-Phew...
TV: ERROR. This DVD cannot be viewed as there is no data.
-Just like I thought, there's no doubt the DVD I'm looking for is this one...
10:
-The contents of the future declaration of war DVD that I took home with me has disappeared...
-Not just the data, even the date "12/2 WISE" written on it too...
-The future is changing.
-Yet the DVD case with Amamiya's handwriting on it stays the same...
-So does this mean...the camera guy died at the declaration of war ceremony? Or that they didn't go...?
-Or does it mean that the declaration of war itself no longer exists...?
-The future we know about no longer exists.
-That dark future of despair,
11:
-is changing into a totally unknown future...!
-This DVD is evidence of that.
-There's another year and a half until the Oroboros collision...
-But from now until the day of the Declaration of War,
-Will it be us who beat the darkness?
Or will it be the WISE?
12:
-Amazing, Junas!!
13:
-Tch!
-A purser...? / If he's the guy I met in Inui's mountain hideout, you'd better not relax.
-Yeah, he's quite the bothersome guy.
-He's an experienced professional. Anyway, I have the child with the scar. / It seems like we won't be able to escape until we somehow defeat him.
-I'm sorry, but I can't get there by the appointed time.
-I won't be able to help you today.
14:
-That so? Understood.
-Do you plan to go alone?
Riko SFX: Oooh! Oooh!
-Perhaps.
-I may never encounter "he" at the declaration of war ceremony if I miss today's opportunity
-...Will you win?
-I might. You never know.
-But if we don't win here the W.I.S.E is done for.
15:
-Whatever, don't worry about it.
-Destiny is revolving around me.
-Men need to be maanly like saaammmuraaai～
16:
-Nii-chan, we'll be arriving at the harbor soon...!
-This is where we part...Thanks for bein' someone to talk to for a day! Heheheh...
-Whatcha sayin' Jii-san? You helped me too.
-Weaklings like us... gotta depend on each other to live!!
17:
-Ahahaha, you said it Nii-chan!
-Despite being a lone-wolf hitchhiker!
-...I've always....been searching for someone able to understand what make's me tick...
-But apparently there doesn't seem to be anyone on this island who can!
(Tn: Island = metaphor for Japan)
-So I decided to try going around the globe, even if I have to stowaway!
-Gahahaha...stowing away, huh...Well, good luck with that.
-...Nii-chan, what name do you call yourself?
18:
-Grigori #01...I guess?
-Grig....?
-Step on the brakes, old man.
-Huh...?
19:
Text: Miroku and the Star Commander Grana now meet!!
-Who the hell is that....?
-CALL.93 / End.
Damm, I did shit in my English exam today... >.>
Ah, well, now I've got nearly a month long break! \o/
Again, I'm not great with making Kagetora speak Yakuza-ish, so suggestions are welcome. :D
Left text: Riko's "Demon" emerges!
-CALL 93. "Friend #1"
-Toshiaki Iwashiro
-Gaaargh!
-Bohaarg...
2:
-Blergh!! Peh! Peh!
3:
-It self destructed... / So dis is da ability of da kid Lan told us about.
-Dude, that was seriously bad! Goddammit, it's not a joke!
-Dey ran, huh?
*sniff*
-No...They're close! At dis rate we can catch up ta them!!
-Are you a friggin' bloodhound...!?
4:
-At the moment that kid seems unable to maintain her power for a long periods of time...but if she grows up, we're screwed.
--So they're usin' da kids who don't know what's right an' wrong yet.... It seems Amagi Miroku's school is plotting somethin' dangerous...
-Haruhiko, yous go back an' treat Lan. I'm gonna go chase after dose two.
-Hey, you tryin' to look down on me? Don't exclude me from the fight!!
-Yous hurt yer left leg a whiles ago... so yous won't be able ta run.
-It's my fault that it turned out dis way. I'll take care of da rest.
5:
-God... / dammit...
-He's outta my league...
-I'm... as useless as shit...
6:
-Oooh~
-Uwaah~ Junas is so fast~
-Riko Hachiboshi... why did you help me...?
-What made you decide to help a perfect stranger, someone you just met...?
-Fa...?
-Fa... / FAYT! ...that's why!
7:
-Junas isn't a stranger! He's my first #1 friend! / He's a very, very important person to me!
-FAYT!!
-It's... Fayt!
-Ah... you mean "Fate"?
-I see. So I'm you're Number 1 friend, huh...
-FA...FAYT!!
-Bite your tongue, Riko.
8:
*beep*
-...So Amagi Miroku's friends are at the school...
-I'm sorry I can't explain the situation in more detail... will you be okay, Kagetora?
-Nee-san, yous gots nothin' to be apologising for!
-I plan on chasin' dese guys an' locate dere hidin' place.
-They're already on alert so don't do anything reckless...How many days can you hold out?
-Well, at dis speed 6 days.
-Alright, 4 days... If you can't get 'em within 4 days I want you to come back.
9:
-No, but...
-I don't want to lose you! Come back safe, Kagetora.
-....Understood....
-Phew...
TV: ERROR. This DVD cannot be viewed as there is no data.
-Just like I thought, there's no doubt the DVD I'm looking for is this one...
10:
-The contents of the future declaration of war DVD that I took home with me has disappeared...
-Not just the data, even the date "12/2 WISE" written on it too...
-The future is changing.
-Yet the DVD case with Amamiya's handwriting on it stays the same...
-So does this mean...the camera guy died at the declaration of war ceremony? Or that they didn't go...?
-Or does it mean that the declaration of war itself no longer exists...?
-The future we know about no longer exists.
-That dark future of despair,
11:
-is changing into a totally unknown future...!
-This DVD is evidence of that.
-There's another year and a half until the Oroboros collision...
-But from now until the day of the Declaration of War,
-Will it be us who beat the darkness?
Or will it be the WISE?
12:
-Amazing, Junas!!
13:
-Tch!
-A purser...? / If he's the guy I met in Inui's mountain hideout, you'd better not relax.
-Yeah, he's quite the bothersome guy.
-He's an experienced professional. Anyway, I have the child with the scar. / It seems like we won't be able to escape until we somehow defeat him.
-I'm sorry, but I can't get there by the appointed time.
-I won't be able to help you today.
14:
-That so? Understood.
-Do you plan to go alone?
Riko SFX: Oooh! Oooh!
-Perhaps.
-I may never encounter "he" at the declaration of war ceremony if I miss today's opportunity
-...Will you win?
-I might. You never know.
-But if we don't win here the W.I.S.E is done for.
15:
-Whatever, don't worry about it.
-Destiny is revolving around me.
-Men need to be maanly like saaammmuraaai～
16:
-Nii-chan, we'll be arriving at the harbor soon...!
-This is where we part...Thanks for bein' someone to talk to for a day! Heheheh...
-Whatcha sayin' Jii-san? You helped me too.
-Weaklings like us... gotta depend on each other to live!!
17:
-Ahahaha, you said it Nii-chan!
-Despite being a lone-wolf hitchhiker!
-...I've always....been searching for someone able to understand what make's me tick...
-But apparently there doesn't seem to be anyone on this island who can!
(Tn: Island = metaphor for Japan)
-So I decided to try going around the globe, even if I have to stowaway!
-Gahahaha...stowing away, huh...Well, good luck with that.
-...Nii-chan, what name do you call yourself?
18:
-Grigori #01...I guess?
-Grig....?
-Step on the brakes, old man.
-Huh...?
19:
Text: Miroku and the Star Commander Grana now meet!!
-Who the hell is that....?
-CALL.93 / End.
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Your Sentence:
-Bite your tongue, Riko.
My Sentence:
-Don't bite your tongue, Riko.
-----------Wasn't it "DON"T BITE"? - or maybe I'm wrong?
On page 13-
Your sentence:
-A "purser"...? / If he's the guy I met in Inui's mountain hideout, you'd better not relax.
My sentence:
-A "pursuer"...? If he's the same guy I met in Inui's mountain hideout, you'd better not relax.
----------CHANGE PURSER -> PURSUER
Your Sentence:
-I'm sorry, but I can't "get" there by the appointed time.
My Sentence:
-I'm sorry, but I won't be able to "arrive" there by the appointed time.
---------CHANGE GET -> ARRIVE - Also, I'm not sure if a comma is need before the "BUT"...is it? or is it to make the manga trans look more profound and delightful?
On Page 14-
Your Sentence:
-That so? Understood.
My Sentence:
-Is that so? I Understand.
Your Sentence:
-Do you plan to go alone?
My Sentence:
-Do you plan on going alone?
--------I rephrased the question with the same tone but different grammar.
Your Sentence:
-I may never encounter "he" at the declaration of war ceremony if I miss today's opportunity.
My Sentence:
-If I miss my chance today, I may never meet "HIM" at the 'Declaration of War' ceremony.
---------I changed how it was spoken, and also changed HE -> HIM.
---------I hope you can see insight to this.
On Page 17-
Your Sentence:
-...Nii-chan, what name do you call yourself?
My Sentence:
-...Nii-chan, what is your name?
-------For this, I'm not sure how it is phrased in the manga, but I just stated this to fix the grammar.
Hope this helped.
Pg. 13, I agree. Pursuer is correct.
Pg. 13. Again, stylistic. Both are right. I'm more inclined towards Queen again though. Also, use a a comma after "I'm sorry," as it is an introductory phrase.
Pg.14. Its a colloquialism. Stick with "That so?" - Is that so is grammatically correct, but "That so?" is more conversational.
Same for the second "Do you plan to go alone?" v. "Do you plan on going alone?" is all a matter of colloquialism. Again, I prefer "Do you plan to go alone?"
pg.14 - I'm more inclined to go with Static here
pg. 17 - I might say "Nii-chan, what do ya call yourself?" just to be a bit more casual, and a bit less formal.
Go Queen! Thanks!
This is the best one. ^^
Because in the original Japanese, he doesn't ask a simple "What's your name?" He asks something like "What name do you use to call yourself?"
as for Page 7,
My Japanese is definitely not perfect, but I still think he says "Bite your tongue."
He says "舌を噛むぞ" (Shita wo Kamu zo)
舌= tounge
を = particle
噛む = bite/chew (http://jisho.org/words?jap=%E5%99%9B%E3%82%80&eng=&dict=edict )
ぞ= manly particle used to end the sentence.
I think he might mean it in a "shut up" kind of way.