Kikaitonchibanashi Hanasaka Ikkyuu Oneshot : Kikai Tonchi Banashi Hanasaka Ikkyuu
Kikai Tonchi Banashi Hanasaka Ikkyuu
I was meaning to do this for a while but I was trying to figure out how to best translate/word some of the jokes. Well, seeing as the announcement of its win came out two days ago, I figured I should just go ahead and finish it... The jokes, well they really don't translate well to English, and I prefer to write a TN explaining them rather than try and come up with something myself (which would be far inferior anyway).
Anyway enough preamble from me! If you're interested in scanlating, just drop me a PM and remember to credit :)
☆ Even the strangest events boil down to one's sagacity! Save the world with wit!
Color and 47 pages for this mysterious witty one shot!!
A Mysterious Tale of Wit
Advancing on the blooming witty way to save the world!!
Original Story Komiyama Kenta
Art Kawada Yuuya
Gold Future Cup
Entry No. 1
Aori: Somewhere, long, long ago...
Box 1a: Long, long ago...
Box 1b: There lived an eccentric spirit
Box 2: One who ate the souls of humans
Box 3: That spirit... Loved "riddles"
Box 4: He would ask anyone who crossed his path sadistic "questions"
Box 5: And if they returned a "stupid answer"
Box 6: They would have their souls eaten without a moment's delay
Box 1a: On the other hand
Box 1b: If they answered with "wit"
Box 2a: The spirit would grant
Box 2b: A single wish, regardless of what it was
Box 3: There was a bald, witty genius of a boy (TN: "Tensai" means genius, but Ikkyuu is described as "Tonsai" with the kanji for "Ton" meaning "wit")
Box 4: Who responded magnificently to the spirit's "question"
Box 5: His wish
Box 6: Was said to indeed be an extremely odd one
Box 7: In a trembling voice he voiced his desire
Ikkyuu: (I want you to... Possess me for the rest of my life!)
Box 8: ... He said
Box 1a: This story
Box 1b: Is about that very "bald, witty genius of a boy"
Box 2a: The story takes place many years down the road
Box 2b: And this time the "question" is "hidden things"
Box 3: That scroll was supposed...
Box 4: To have never been found at all costs
Karma: Hmm~ It sure is peaceful. Is there even anyone out there with a spot of worry on their minds!?
Ikkyuu: Umm... Karma!!
Ikkyuu: But I really wonder... When will you ever be able to win against me!?
Ikkyuu: What number was this again!? Hmm~
Ikkyuu: Haha... I stopped being able to count a long time ago
Ikkyuu: I'm really sorry about making you use your "Wish-granting Powers" on things like food
Karma: I lost again...
Karma: Oi, Ikkyuu...
Karma: Let's have another battle of the wits!!!
Karma: This time for sure I'll be the victor!!
Ikkyuu: Excuse me, you just lost to me, didn't you!!!
Karma: We'll do this till I win!! Here we go, let's battle!!
Karma: That bridge--
Ikkyuu: Wa---- Wa---
Karma: This folding screen tiger--
Karma: This tea--
Ikkyuu: Thanks for the tea
Karma: Oi, baldie!!
Karma: This journey to save all of creation
Karma: It was your idea right!! Wasn't it~~!?
Karma: Listen up, Ikkyuu!! You are helping others using my "wish-granting powers"!!
Karma: I want to win against you and devour your soul!! This is a contest you just can't forfeit!!
Karma: Today is what it is called
Karma: Because it will be the day I help myself to your soul... Hanasaka Ikkyuu!!
Ikkyuu: Pah!! [small text: you sure can talk]
Ikkyuu: I've had to listen for years to that mouth of yours that just won't stop, try making it useful to me, won't you? [small text: idiot]
Karma: Kuhh!! Shut up. Gehaa!! Here comes the riddle!!
Ikkyuu: Give me a break (TN: the kanji for "Ikkyuu" and "break/hitoyasumi" are both "一休")
Karma: Don't give me that shit you bastard!! Now!! We'll compete right now!!
Karma: Now now now!!!
Ikkyuu: Nah, there isn't anyone who's in need of help right now
Ikkyuu: ..... What's that!?
Karma: ..... This thing? [small text: it looks like it got buried!?]
Text above Ikkyuu: Interested
Karma: Oi, oi
Ikkyuu: Ah... This is
Ikkyuu: A hanging scroll
Ikkyuu: (A red haired... Woman!?)
Ikkyuu: And a rather stunning one at that!?
Gorou: Where did you put the Akagamisama!? (TN: Akagamisama = Red God[dess])
Gorou's mother: A scroll like that where the design changes every day! Of course I buried it!!
Gorou's mother: A scroll that returns no matter how many times you throw it away
Gorou's mother: It's obviously not normal!!
Gorou's mother: Your illness is not getting any better. It's got to be because of that sc...
Gorou: You're... You're wrong
Gorou: Akagamisama would never... [small text: *cough*]
Ikkyuu: Ah-- Could this be!? Is this the scroll in question!?
Gorou's mother: !?
Ikkyuu: I found it buried outside
Small text near Ikkyuu: Wh-
Gorou's mother: Gorou!! I told you it comes back every time!!
Gorou's mother: You!! Please discard this somewhere!! I don't care even if you incinerate it!!
Ikkyuu: Eh... Me!?
Gorou's mother: Now, hurry!! I'm counting on you!!
Ikkyuu: Well now...
Ikkyuu: What exactly do we have here...
Ikkyuu: Even though she told me to incinerate it... [small text: hmm~]
Akagamisama: Getting incinerated... Would really put me in a spot...
Ikkyuu: Evil spirit exorcism!!
Ikkyuu: The god of the scroll!?
Ikkyuu: Wow.... There really are a diverse range of gods out there, huh!? [small text: there are innumerable gods, right!?]
Akagamisama: Mu... Aren't you shocked!?
Ikkyuu: Not particularly!?
Ikkyuu: Well, as you can see, I've got something possessing me
Ikkyuu: Tales of mystery and wit
Ikkyuu: I've got
Ikkyuu: An absurd affinity for them!!
Akagamisama: Saving the world by answering "riddles"!?
Akagamisama: By wit, you mean answering those ridiculously difficult questions, right!?
Akagamisama: A spirit with "wish-granting powers"
Akagamisama: Hey!! Can these "wish-granting powers" cure illnesses too!? Would I be able to answer those riddles!?
Ikkyuu: Eh!? You wanna have a go!?
Ikkyuu: I'd advise you against it. This guy asks the most sadistic "questions"
Akagamisama: Fo... For example!?
Ikkyuu: Hm~ For example
Ikkyuu: Yeah... I'll tell you about that "question"
Box: "Ikkyuu" and "Two Toothpicks"
Karma: Now... The "question" is clear and simple!!
Karma: Here are two toothpicks!!
Karma: Using only those "two toothpicks"...
Karma: Try to make a "square"... Yeah!!
Karma: Of course, breaking or bending them
Karma: Is against the rules!!
Small text next to Ikkyuu: Hmm
Karma: Now, give it a go!!
Karma: Although it's probably gonna be impossible~~
Karma: You're going to die this time!! Ikkyuu!!
Ikkyuu: I give up at a triangle!!
Karma: What utter rubbish!! You're going to lose just like that!! You idiot!!
Karma: Oh, oh!? What's the matter, Hanasaka Ikkyuu!? The toothpicks aren't going to increase in number just cuz you stare at them!! [small text: hehe!!]
Karma: ... Eh, you're shitting me, right!?
Karma: Th... This couldn't be
Karma: I might just have won~ ♥
Ikkyuu: Oi! Stupid spirit!!
Small text next to Karma: I've waited so long...
Karma: What? You're so noisy~
Karma: What the!?
Ikkyuu: What are you talking about
Ikkyuu: This... Is my answer!!
Karma: Your answer!? Where!?
Karma: Excuse me!?
Karma: You know, Ikkyuu...
Karma: I said to make a square
Karma: Out of two toothpicks, didn't I!?
Karma: That's just one toothpick...
Karma: In the first place, how does it even resemble a square
Ikkyuu: Hm!? Ahh... My bad, my bad
Ikkyuu: You couldn't see it!? ... In that case
Ikkyuu: How about
Karma: ... Ahh
Karma: What... So it was two toothpicks after all
Small text next to Karma: Huh
Ikkyuu: That's why I keep telling you, right!? Ask me questions by writing them on a paper instead of saying them out
Ikkyuu: Well, you've admitted that you just couldn't see it, right?
Ikkyuu: It couldn't be helped, now could it, Karma
Ikkyuu: That I did use two toothpicks just as I was told to...
Ikkyuu: Just that I created
Ikkyuu: A blind spot (TN: "shikaku" can mean either "square" or "blind spot" depending on the kanji used)
Ikkyuu: ... That's all there is to it
Ikkyuu: (That said, do remember to heal Shika-san's wound~~)
Akagamisama: Amazing!! You're really witty!!
Akagamisama: You really were using two toothpicks!!
Akagamisama: Wow~ What splendid sagacity! [small text: I'm impressed]
Ikkyuu: Nah, it was nothing
Karma: Go to hell!!
Ikkyuu: Hmm!? Did you say something!? Karma!?
Ikkyuu: If you've got a problem with that, why don't you tell her about one of your victories?
Ikkyuu: Akagamisama, I mean!
Karma: Maybe... Maybe next time...
Ikkyuu: Eh!? They even exist!?
Karma: How rude!! There were tons of times!! Of course, all before I met you!!
Akagamisama: I beg of you!!
Akagamisama: Please think of this as helping a god
Akagamisama: And lend it to me!! That wisdom of yours!!
Akagamisama: Please... Save Gorou!!
Akagamisama: I can't be of any help to that boy!! Please!! It is just as I have said!!
Ikkyuu: Ack, a god bowing... Please, raise your head!!
Akagamisama: ..... Gorou
Ikkyuu: (... If I recall...)
Akagamisama: Gorou's body won't hold out much longer!!
Akagamisama: My powers... My powers are...
Akagamisama: Unable to save
Akagamisama: That boy!!
Box: "Akagamisama" and "Gorou"
Scroll: I just came back!! [small text: hehe]
Akagamisama: What shall we play today!?
Akagamisama: But is it really normal to throw away heirlooms!? Damned wretches!! The only kind one around here is Gorou!!
Gorou: I'm so happy you came back!! I... Thought I'd never be able to see you again...
Gorou: Don't hide in my room any more!!
Small text next to Gorou: *cough*
Akagamisama: But your mum's really sharp and she'd find me no matter where I hide...
Gorou: How about in there!?
Gorou: How about hiding
Gorou: In this painting!?
Akagamisama: In the painting...!?
Akagamisama: That's impossible!! I can't do things like entering any other paintings!!
Akagamisama: I don't have such powers!!
Gorou: Ah, I see!!
Akagamisama: In any case, since when did that thing get into this room!!
Gorou: My mum... Thought I'd be lonely and said it was a replacement for the scroll
Gorou: ...... Something like that... Could never take the place of that scroll
Gorou: After all, that painting...
Gorou: Is not... One that
Gorou: Smiles at me...
Gorou: Akagamisama always
Gorou: Tells me lots of stories before I sleep
Gorou: And encourages me when I'm drinking bitter medicine
Gorou: Akagamisama's presence alone
Gorou: Has saved me
Gorou: So much...
SFX next to Gorou: *cough*
Akagamisama: (If only...)
Akagamisama: Come now... It's time to sleep
Akagamisama: (I had the power to save... This child!!)
Akagamisama: It's not good for your body
Akagamisama: I'll play a lot with you tomorrow!
Akagamisama: Then... How about hide-and-seek
Gorou: Haha... I'm no good at hiding...
Akagamisama: He was always a frail child, but... He was always sickly ever since he contracted the illness
Akagamisama: I don't even know if he can survive winter this year
Akagamisama: I can't rely on anything else but your "wisdom"
Akagamisama: And that spirit's "power"
Ikkyuu: Let's go, Akagamisama!! To save Gorou!!
Ikkyuu: Hehehe, I'm all fired up!!
Ikkyuu: Oi! Stupid spir...
Ikkyuu: ....!? Eh!? Where's Karma!? [small text: Where did he go!?]
Akagamisama: I saw him heading in the direction of Gorou's house a little while ago
Ikkyuu: Let's head back, Akagamisama...'
Ikkyuu: It seems he's already thought of the "question"!!
Ikkyuu: ... I have
Ikkyuu: A bad feeling about this...
Karma: I've been waiting
Karma: Come!! It's "riddle" time!!!
Karma: Hanasaka Ikkyuu!!!
Ikkyuu: Damn you
Ikkyuu: What are you doing!?
Karma: What am I doing!? Wasn't it obvious that this was the "question"!?
Karma: Well, actually it's this guy's room I'm talking about using!!
Ikkyuu: I don't care about that!! Just let that kid down!!
Akagamisama: Let him go! Gorou is in pain!!
Karma: Hmph!! Let me clarify that this kid
Karma: Was already in this state before I arrived!!
Karma: Well now, with this, all the players have assembled!!
Karma: Shall we begin!? This "riddle" upon which a life depends!!
Akagamisama: Ikkyuu-san!! Please take on the riddle!! I don't mind even if you wager my soul!!
Ikkyuu: Yeah... That was what I was planning from the start!! However
Ikkyuu: I'll be wagering my own soul...
Ikkyuu: Otherwise there would be no meaning to it!!
Akagamisama: .... Why
Akagamisama: (.... To go that far)
Karma: Why, you ask!? Isn't it obvious!?
Karma: It's for himself
Karma: What that guy's doing isn't anything like the salvation all of creation
Karma: It's his own salvation!!!
Karma: Am I right, Ikkyuu!?
Ikkyuu: I won't deny it...
Karma: I remember... You told me that time, with your childish face half-stained with tears
Karma: This boy is rather famous, you know
Karma: He'd wittily answer any "inquiry" posed to him and was praised lavishly as a bald, witty genius of a boy...
Karma: He prided himself in nothing but that "wit"
Karma: However, one day, an aged mother came to the temple to tap on Ikkyuu's wit
Karma: She said... "We are starving from poverty. Please use that wit of yours to save us"...
Karma: He agreed... But
Karma: He knew that lip service alone
Karma: Would not save them...
Karma: His prided wit was of no use to anyone in this world...
Karma: Realising this, Ikkyuu... Felt like he had been exiled into the darkness of night, alone, or so I've heard!?
Ikkyuu: That boy of mere lip service... Has changed because he met you!!
Ikkyuu: I'm grateful for that, Karma...
Ikkyuu: Thanks to you, this useless wit of mine
Ikkyuu: Can be turned into power to save others!!
Ikkyuu: As long as there's someone in tears
Ikkyuu: As long as I'm needed by someone!!
Ikkyuu: This time for sure!! I'll save someone with this "wit" of mine!! That is my...
Ikkyuu: Witty way!!
Karma: Yeah... Your wit sure has brought me some fun times
Karma: But let's put an end to that, shall we...
Karma: Hanasaka Ikkyuu
Box: "Ikkyuu" and "Hidden Things"
Karma: The "question" this time is hidden things!! Or you could call it hidden treasure!!
Karma: Please take half a day to hide Akagamisama somewhere in "this room"
Karma: If I manage to find the scroll, you lose. If I can't find where you hid it, you win!!
Akagamisama: Why.... me...
Ikkyuu: So I can't cut it up to make it smaller and easier to hide
Ikkyuu: Akagamisama huh... [small text: half a day]
Ikkyuu: More importantly
Ikkyuu: This room...
Ikkyuu: (hasn't got a single...)
Ikkyuu: (potential hiding place)
Karma: Well then... Shall we begin!?
Karma: Ah, I almost forgot
Karma: You can make use of anything in this room!!
Karma: With that.. I'll wait outside!! Come call me when you're done hiding!!
Karma: In this room, there isn't a single place
Karma: Where he can hide it from my eyes!!
Ikkyuu: That sadistic bastard!!
Akagamisama: Hide!? In this room... Me
Akagamisama: What should we do....
Akagamisama: That's it!! A blind spot!! Just like you did that time with the two toothpicks!!
Akagamisama: You just need to hide me in a blind spot he will overlook!!
Ikkyuu: Well, I get it but
Ikkyuu: We only have half a day and this room is so cramped. It won't be easy to find a spot he'll overlook...
Ikkyuu: No, hold on...
Ikkyuu: We have a trick we can use!!
Ikkyuu: It's decided!!
Ikkyuu: Let's hide it here
Karma: That's pretty fast, no!?
Karma: Impatience is forbidden, you know!! Ikkyuu!!
Karma: I'll do this really slowly without getting impatient at all!!
Karma: After all, I've got so much time on my hands!!
Karma: If I conduct a thorough search, surely...
Ikkyuu: There's no need for that!!
Ikkyuu: I don't have time to play along with your "question"!!
Ikkyuu: I'll just outright tell you where I hid it!! You'd never find it anyway!!
Karma: What do you mean....!?
Ikkyuu: .... Here!!
Ikkyuu: The scroll is...
Ikkyuu: Hidden behind...
Ikkyuu: This folding screen tiger!!
Karma: Excuse me!?
Karma: Eh, what!? You mean it's behind!?
Karma: What... The hell are you talking about!?
Ikkyuu: Well now, even if you looked at me like that...
Karma: In this painting!! You didn't actually mean that you hid it behind the tiger, did you!?
Karma: If it's in the painting, then no matter how I look, there would be no way for me to actually check there. Is that what you meant!?
Karma: This isn't even counted as a play on words!! I heard it!!
Akagamisama: That's impossible!! I can't do things like entering any other paintings!!
Akagamisama: I don't have such powers!!
Gorou: Ah, I see!!
Karma: Akagamisama cannot enter other paintings!! What you're spouting... Is nothing more than a pack of lies!!
Karma: You're just trying to buy time, aren't you!! You want to make it such that I won't have time to search elsehwere!!
Ikkyuu: Is that what you think!?
Ikkyuu: I'm telling you that searching elsewhere will just be a waste of your time and effort!!
Ikkyuu: I swear!! I didn't hide it anywhere but here!!
Karma: (It's just a bluff!!)
Karma: Then let me confirm it!! Then this matter can be put to rest!!
Karma: Kakakaka... Ikkyuu, if you really hid it behind this tiger... Then it is definite that I will not be able to find it!!
Karma: That's your win!! I'm fine with that!! However!!
Karma: If there is even a modicum of falsehood in your claims!!
Karma: I'll have your soul there and then!! You lose if you reveal that the scroll is anywhere else!!
Karma: That's fine with you, right, Ikkyuu!!
Ikkyuu: (Akagamisama, can you enter that painting!?)
Akagamisama: (No... That's impossible!!)
Ikkyuu: Fine with me
Karma: In that case!! Bring Akagamisama before me right now, Ikkyuu!! Or can't you, because you're afraid of the tiger!?
Karma: Come on!! Show me your answer!!
Ikkyuu: Alright, got it...
Ikkyuu: Told you, Karma
Ikkyuu: This is...
Ikkyuu: My win!!
Karma: Huuuuuhhhh!? Are you kidding me!?
Karma: W- w- w- What the hell is up with that!?
Ikkyuu: What's up with that? All I did was hide it under my kimono sleeve!?
Ikkyuu: You... Said so at the start, didn't you...
Ikkyuu: That we could make use of anything in this room!! You know, when you were giving us the "question"...
Ikkyuu: My kimono was in this room, wasn't it!?
Karma: I... I'm not talking about that!!
Karma: I said
Karma: I'd have your soul if you lied, didn't I!?
Karma: Under your sleeve!! That's a a different place you were taking the scroll out from!!
Karma: You lied!! You swore you didn't!!
Karma: You, like this!! Behind the folding screen tiger!!
Karma: Akagamisama... You said
Karma: (Under... His sleeve!?)
Karma: The folding screen tiger!?
Ikkyuu: I wasn't exactly contradicting myself, you know!!
Ikkyuu: Well now, if what I say is the truth, then you'll accept defeat, correct!?
Ikkyuu: I rea~lly "hid" it from the folding screen tiger's back!! Never once did I say anything about it being inside the painting!! (TN: this is really a play on the grammar. The grammar Ikkyuu used could mean two things: "hid it on the tiger's back/hid it behind the tiger" or "hid it from the tiger's back [so that the tiger's back can't 'see' it]". The most obvious seemed to be the former, which is what Karma took it to mean initially)
Ikkyuu: So, will you accept it!?
Ikkyuu: The question this time was "hidden things"!! And that scroll was certainly!! Successfully hidden by Hanasaka Ikkyuu!!
Akagamisama: You could have stayed a little longer
Ikkyuu: Haha... In the first place, this guy's an evil spirit
Ikkyuu: He'd cause trouble if we stayed too long!
Ikkyuu: Ah, that's right, Gorou!!
Ikkyuu: Don't strain yourself too much just because you've been healed!!
Gorou: Got it!!
Akagamisama: By the way, that guy...
Ikkyuu: He's always like that after losing to me!! [small text: always]
Ikkyuu: What a sorry state!!
Akagamisama: Serves him right
Gorou: Thank you for healing me
Akagamisama: Ah!! I nearly forgot, Ikkyuu!! I can't express my thanks enough, so... If there's anything...
Ikkyuu: Hm? Don't worry about that!!
Ikkyuu: Well then!! We'll be by again if we get a chance. Take care, Akagamisama, Gorou
Lyrics next to Karma's head: I really, really, really, really, really, really hate you (music note) Ikkyuu-san (music note)
Ikkyuu: Hey!! Don't make up such weird songs!!
Ikkyuu: Jeez, go apologise to Gorou!!
Karma: Oi, Ikkyuu!!
Ikkyuu: What is it!?
Karma: Let's have a contest!! Battle it out with me again!!!
Ikkyuu: Haa... I give up
Ikkyuu: hey, Akagamisama!! You were talking about thanking me earlier, right? Can I ask something of you!?
Ikkyuu: Just for a little while...
Ikkyuu: Will you...
Ikkyuu: Hide me from him!?
Karma: It's a contest!
Aori: And so the curtain falls!!
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