Baka to Test to Shoukanjyuu 22
Translated on request of ecchibaka (Ecchi Baka scans)
Girl: ......Yuuji, good morning.
Girl: .......the weather looks nice today.
Yuuji: Hm...? Ah, yes. Looks like it.
Yuuji: Even though she usually wears casual clothes, like a T-shirt on a denim miniskirt, today she's really put some effort in dressing herself...
Yuuji: Ah, good morning Shouko.
Shouko: .......yes, good morning Yuuji.
Yuuji: By the way, why is Shouko in my room?
Yuuji: Are we supposed to go on a date today? // ...Damn, I can't remember. // In that case...
Yuuji: I'm sorry, Shouko, but could you give me my phone?
Shouko: .......you want to make a call?
Yuuji: Ah, yes.
Yuuji: The reason she is here. she is...
Yuuji: Yes, hello? Is this the police?
Yuuji: an intruder.
Yuuji: Mom!! What's going on!
Mother: Oh, Yuuji. Good morning.
Yuuji: It isn't a good morning!! // Why is Shouko in my room!? // Because of that the police officer thought I was a delusional idiot, // who couldn't distinguish between 2D and 3D anymore!
Mother: ...eh, Shouko-chan is....?
Yuuji: This reaction. Maybe Shouko did this on her own.
Yuuji: Well, whatever. I'm sorry for yelling at you. // I honestly thought you let her in...
Mother: Shouko's such a late bloomer. // I went through all that trouble to set things up... what a waste... // Ooh, Yuuji. Why are you suddenly grabbing your mother's face?
Yuuji: So it was your doing after all...
Shouko: ......Yuuji. Don't bully your mother.
Yuuji: Stay away, Shouko. Being her son, I have to re-educate this mother.
Shouko: ......if you ignore me, // your mom and I will read this book together.
Yuuji: Hold... hold on!! That's no reading material for girls! // Give it back to me!
Yuuji: For her to find one of the most sublime magazines, one that would make even our ninja pervert groan, it's terrible!! // Or more precisely, where did she find that!? // I hid it in a place where even my mother would never look!?
Mother: Oh, Shouko. Isn't that the secret book that Yuuji disguised as a sourcebook on world history, //and hid under the double-bottom of his desk drawer?
Shouko (SFX): nod nod
Yuuji: I've never felt as envious of Akihisa as now, living on his own.
Yuuji: I... I get it. I'll release my mother.
Shouko: ......okay. In that case, I'll...
Yuuji: Damn. As soon as I have it back, I'm going to find a better place to hide it. // I'll have to put a lock on it...
Shouko: ...forgive you, if you burn this book to ashes.
Yuuji: Shouko, no matter how you look at it, that's a stupid condition..
Shouko: ......then burn it and I won't forgive you.
Yuuji: Is there no option where I don't burn it!?
Mother: Ha-ha, I see you're still getting along.
Yuuji: That's not what I'm thinking......
Mother: Oh! Really?
Yuuji: Well,... why is Shouko here anyway?
Yuuji: Date? Did I promise to go on a date with you?
Mother: Oh! Are those pre-open tickets for Kisaragi Highland? // These are premium tickets, not anyone can get them, right? // Amazing. You really got yourself something good.
Shouko: ......I got them from a nice person.
Mother: I'm so happy for you. // Oh, Yuuji? Who are you calling?
Yuuji: I have some business with a fool.
phone: number recognition OFF
Akihisa: Hello? Who is this?
Yuuji: ..............you bastard! I'm gonna kill you!
Akihisa: Eh!? What!? // Who are you!? You're scaring me...
Shouko: ......Yuuji, shall we go?
Yuuji: No, I don't want to.
Yuuji: There's a dangerous scheme behind this offer of the Kisaragi group. // I absolutely have to avoid a situation in which I and Shouko get involved and are forced to marry.
Mother: Oh. Don't be silly, it would be nice if the two of you went.
Yuuji: I have my reasons.
Yuuji: "The Kisaragi group will use any means to get you married." If mom only knew the truth. // And if needed, Shouko will use dirty methods to get us involved... she's that type of girl.
Shouko: ......I want to go there with Yuuji.
Yuuji: It's been about seven years ago since she started expressing her feelings like this. // But no matter how often she confesses her love, my mind won't change. // However, I do respect her devotion to me in a certain way.
Yuuji: But if this drags on, she'll force me to marry her for sure... I don't want to live such a dreadful life. // Alright. Today I'll tell her once and for all: "Shouko, give up on me."
Yuuji: ...you should...
Yuuji: Fast!! Too fast! I couldn't say more than her name!
Yuuji: Bu... but, Shouko.
Shouko: ......if you really don't want to go,...
Shouko: Make you choice.
Yuuji: Sorry, what are we talking about again?
Shouko: ...you aid that if you'd break your promise, we'd hold a wedding ceremony and take our vows.
Yuuji: That's not what I promised, right?
Mother: I think Hawaii would be nice, or at least oversees.
Yuuji: Mom, how can you stay so calm about this.
Shouko: ......Yuuji, make your choice. You promised me!
Mother: Ah, Europe could be nice too. Hmm, where should it be?
Yuuji: I can't handle this...! I have to get away...
Shouko: ......we're finally here.
Yuuji: Seeing her happy face, I feel that maybe it was worth it to go all the way here.
Yuuji: Alright, we're here.
Yuuji: Let's go home.
Shouko: ......No way, we're going in.
Yuuji: Ha-ha-ha, Shouko. You know my elbow can't turn that way, right?
Shouko: ......but all couples hold hands.
Yuuji: Hold on, Shouko!! You think that holding hands and // forcing someone into submission are the same thing?
Shouko: ......anyway, let's go in.
Yuuji: Ouch!! // Let go, you'll break my elbow!
Attendant: Good morning! // Welcome to Kisaragi Highland!
SFX: Bright smile
Attendant: We aren't officially open yet, so do you already have tickets?
Attendant: Let's me see them, please.
Shouko: ......is there something wrong...?
Attendant: No, no. There's nothing wrong, right? // Please hold on a second.
Attendant: It's me. The said couple is here. // Start the preparations for the wedding shift. Everything should be perfect.
Yuuji: Hey, you. What's up with that weird conversation.
Shouko: ......wedding shift?
Attendant: Don't worry about it. It's none of your concern.
Yuuji: Just now you spoke really fluent Japanese.
Attendant: Well, Japanese is really hard, I don't speak it well.
Yuuji: He's irritating.
Yuuji: By the way, there's no need for that wedding shift. // You let us in the park, that's enough.
Attendant: Don't say that. We'll take care of it. // Please allow us to show you our hospitality.
Yuuji: No need.
Attendant: In return we ask a small favor.
Yuuji: No way.
Attendant: This way please.
Yuuji: I refuse.
Attendant: If you refuse, we'll send a rotten crawfish to your home.
Yuuji: Stop it!! If I'd let you do that, my whole family would get food poisoning.
Yuuji: There's no doubt about it. My mom will mistake it for a spiny lobster and use it to make dinner. // What a frightening threat...!
Attendant: Well, let's first take a commemorative photo.
Shouko: ......commemorative photo?
Attendant: Yes, first we'll make a lasting memory of the well-matched couple.
Shouko: ......well-matched couple...
Akihisa: Sorry to make you wait. Here's the camera.
Yuuji: Huh? I've seen him before...
Attendant: They told you to bring it? // Thanks for the trouble. You're a great help.
Yuuji: It's strange... is it normal for the staff here to talk so polite to their colleagues? // Let's put it to the test.
Yuuji: Excuse me, I have to make a call.
Akihisa: Ah, excuse me. That's my phone.
Yuuji: ......morning Akihisa, what are you up to...!?
Akihisa: You've got the wrong person!
Yuuji: Bastard! don't run away!! // Let go of me, stupid fake foreigner!
Attendant: His name is Elisabeth Hanako (35 years old), commonly known around here as Steve. // He isn't Yoshii something.
Yuuji: Shut up!! You're obviously lying about his race, age, gender and name! // No matter how you look at it, with such a name you wouldn't be commonly known as Steve! // Moreover I never even called him by his family name Yoshii!
Yuuji: That bastard. He's here to trick me...! I've lost all faith in humanity! // Is he trying to take revenge on me!?
Yuuji: To pose as an attendant, I'm sure that old hag is somehow involved in this. // It's possible there are more of them...
Yuuji: Shouko, could you excuse me for a moment.
Yuuji: That reaction... looks like our ninja pervert is here too.
Yuuji: I bet Hideyoshi and Himeji are also hiding somewhere. All of them are here to enjoy my misfortune...!
Shouko: ......Yuuji, pervert.
Yuuji: What!? // No... you're wrong, Shouko! // You know I have absolutely no interests in seeing your panties, right!?
Shouko: ......That, it troubles me.
Yuuji: Yipes!! Not fair!!
Attendant: Well then, I'll be taking the photo. // Smile, please.
Attendant: I'll print it right away. // Please wait here like that.
Shouko: ......sure. We'll wait like this.
Yuuji: Yipes!! If we stay like this my skull will break!
Attendant: Here you go.
Yuuji: Does she really love me...?
Shouko: ......Yuuji, look. This is our memory.
Yuuji: ...... why that photo?
Attendant: I added some details as a special service.
Yuuji: ......no matter how you look at it, we aren't a happy couple.
Attendant: Do you mind if we display it on this park's photo studio?
Yuuji: Are you mad!? Why on earth would you want to display that!?
Yuuji: ......no one will be fooled by this.
Shouko: ......Yuuji, do you feel ashamed? // Sorry, is there any reason to be ashamed of this photo?
Woman: Aah! They're taking photos. Let's take a photo too!
Man: As a memorial of our wedding? // Hey you, take a photo of us too!
Attendant: I'm sorry, this is a special service...
Man: What!? What's the problem!? We're customers too!
Woman: Squee! Yuuta, you're so cool!
Man: Just that you know, a picture of us would do this place // more good than a picture of those dull kids.
Woman: That's right! Just look at that stupid boy. // My Ryuuta looks a 100 times better than him!
Yuuji: We should use this as a distraction to get away from that attendant.
Yuuji: Hey, Shouko. Where are you going?
Shouko: ......those two are saying bad things about you.
Yuuji: Eh, well... if you're going to make a fuss about those cuddling idiots, there will be no end to it. // It's best to ignore those kind of people.
Yuuji: Let's go, Shouko.
Shouko: ......if you say so.
Yuuji: These kind of people coming to the promotion event, Kisaragi Highland really has no luck either.
Man: Aah!? If you don't hurry up and take that picture, I'll tip-off the media!
Woman: That's right! We're customers too, you know!
Yuuji: Alright, let's walk around a bit before we go home.
Shouko: ......I'd love to.
Yuuji: It would be easiest if they had a cinema here.
Shouko: ......no, that's no good. Now that we're finally together...
Phi (Himeji): Young man with the pretty lady! // Can Phi recommend you to a good attraction?
Yuuji: ...I've heard that voice before. Maybe it's my imagination, but that voice reminds me of our classes' top student. Let's put this one to the test too...
Yuuji: By the way, just now I saw Akihisa inviting that working collage girl to see a movie.
Phi (Himeji): Eeh, Asahisa-kun!? When did you see that!?
Yuuji: Hey, Himeji. Got yourself a part-time job?
Phi (Himeji): Ah......! You... you're mistaken! It's not me. // Phi isn't that human named Himeji, right? As you can see, I'm a female fox ♪
Yuuji: Himeji takes this too serious.
Yuuji: Well then,... it's Phi, right? What do you recommend?
Phi (Himeji): Ah, sure. Sure. Phi recommends that one. // The haunted house over there.
Yuuji: I see. Thanks.
Phi (Himeji): That's okay. Have fun.
Yuuji: Alright, Shouko.
Yuuji: Let's go in every attraction EXCEPT the haunted house.
Phi (Himeji): Wa... wait, please!
Phi (Himeji): Why won't you visit my recommendation!?
Yuuji: I've got a bad feeling about it. // It's clear from the way you talk that you have something planned to happen inside that haunted house. // I don't feel like going to such a place.
Phi (Himeji): But... but you'll get me in trouble! // I beg you, please visit the haunted house!
Yuuji: I refuse.
Yuuji: I don't feel like sacrificing the rest of my life, just to grant that request.
Phi (Himeji): Please~! // The haunted house will be fun!
Noin (Akihisa): That's as far as you go, Yuuji ¬¬¬......I mean // that plain boy!!
Yuuji: That stupidity... Akihisa!
Noin (Akihisa): How rude!! I... that's not true! // Why are you calling Noin stupid!?
Yuuji: Shut up!! What's wrong about calling a person stupid, when he put his head on backwards!?
Shouko: ......Yuuji, it's because Noi-chan is a careless person.
Yuuji: Shouko, do you think that creatures who carelessly put their head on backwards will promptly be weeded out by nature?
Phi (Himeji): Ah, Akihisa-kun. You put your head on backwards! // Aah! You even made that little girl cry!?
Noin (Akihisa): Aargh! Damn! So, that's why I couldn't see a thing!
Phi (Himeji): Quick, fix it before Sakamoto-kun notices!
Yuuji: Do they still think they can deceive me? Those two really make a well-matched couple.
Attendant: Excuse me, I'm sorry to have made you wait.
Attendant: Sakamoto Yuuji-san, please go to the haunted house.
Yuuji: I already said I don't want to.
Attendant: If you refuse, we'll send a large amount of bubble wrap to your house.
Yuuji: Stop it!! If I'd let you do that, all housework would be left undone!
Yuuji: My mother wouldn't do anything, until she popped every bubble!? // It would be a plain and subtle nuisance...!
Phi (Himeji): By the way, Akihisa-kun. I heard you've been talking to a working college girl? // I can't believe you're hooking up with other girls, while we are working hard...
Noin (Akihisa): Eh, what are you talking about? It wasn't me. // Eh, who are you calling?
Phi (Himeji): Minami-chan is on her way her. // Please tell us everything when she gets here.
Noin (Akihisa): That... that's no good!! She can't spill my blood here. That rumor...
Noin (Akihisa): Yipes! She's here already!? // I'll do anything you want, but please don't kill me!
Attendant: SAKAMOTO, Shouko-san, inside the haunted house you can cling to your boyfriend as much as you want.
Shouko: ......Yuuji, I want to go to the haunted house.
Yuuji: That's dirty!! Using Shouko to lure me into you trap!
Yuuji: And her family name is Kirishima! Don't talk to her like she's family!
Shouko: ......don't worry. It'll change soon enough.
Attendant: Alright, please sign this agreement. // It's just a standard form.
Yuuji: Hm, you have to sign an agreement before you enter?
Yuuji: Well, maybe it's not that bad.
Yuuji: Since they have us sign an agreement, it's probably really scary in there.
1) I, Sakamoto Yuuji, will take Kirishima Shouko to be my wife and promise to love her for better or worse, all days of my life.
2) I promise to hold the wedding ceremony in Kisaragi Highland.
I promise I won't get a divorce, no matter what circumstances arrive.
I'll sign this agreement to accept the terms written above.
Shouko: ......her, Yuuji. Your seal.
Attendant: Here's the ink pad.
Yuuji: Why only me!? Am I really the only one who thinks this whole situation is odd!?
Attendant: Just joking. Forget about the agreement and go inside.
Yuuji: ......sure. A joke. // They still dare to insist it's just a joke, despite the fact they even prepared a copy.
Attendant: Well then, I'll take care of your bag. It would only be in the way if you took it inside.
Shouko: ......please don't lay it down on its side, or else it'll spill.
Attendant: You're talking about this bag? // I understand. I'll be careful.
Yuuji: Spill? What did she bring?
Attendant: Have fun.
Shouko: ......Yuuji, let's go.
Yuuji: That hurts!! You'll break my elbow!
Attendant: It's me. The target entered the haunted house. // Put Yoshii-san's plan into action.
To be continued
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