Kuroku: Damn... // I totally forgot...
text: An annoying job that dampens the enthusiasm!!
Circles: Nakamura Atsushi
Chiaki: The poster for the Umibouzu swimming class should be done by tomorrow.
Kuroku: Well, I certainly forgot about that too, but...
[T/N: Umibouzu = a yokai that looks like a round headed sea goblin.]
Chiaki: "Medical examination for citizens"?
Board: Information about the "medical examination for citizens" // Right now the CC disease is going around. // Symptoms ---- etc. // Consultation day: 00/00 〇day // Time: 16:00 ~ 20:00 // Place: 3F ---- // (Applicants should hand in the application form at the designated place before 00/00.
Chiaki: Even with yokai it's health first, huh?
Kuroku: That's right.
Chiaki: But why do they look so gloomy?
Yokai: (Woman this way, please. // Men that way.)
Title: Report 5 The dependable doctor of Tama?
Kuroku: Even if you ask me----
Yokai: How...dare he!? That doctor...!! // It's unbelievable!!!
Chiaki: Eh...? Wh...What...
Kuroku: He did it AGAIN...(2)
Yokai: Err... // Doctor...
Yokai: I heard I would only get a preventive injection... // Why do I need to pose like this...
Doctor: ...compared to males the female characteristics of a posture stand out. // In other words, it's a pose that makes it easy to diagnose if a woman has contracted this highly-contagious disease or not.
Yokai: I.. I see!
Doctor: I would like to make a thorough diagnosis.
Nurse: The next patient is waiting at the men's side.
Doctor: He's fine. // Next.(3)
Doctor: Alright, next I would like you to wear this china dress and pose like that again.
Nurse: Doctor, the next patient is waiting at the men's side.
Doctor: ...Ah, he's a yellow one. // Use the yellow one on the left side of the shelf.
Nurse: A shot of penicillin Z, right? Understood.
Doctor: If you don't like it, you can also wear this Kappa costume.
Yokai: You said it's a costume!!!
Yokai: This is definitely weird!!
Doctor: ...how foolish of me. // Well, she wasn't ill, so I guess it's fine...
Doctor: The next are two real ladies, an Uminyoubou and a Bakekitsune... // Heh, heh... I'm looking forward to it...[T/N: Uminyoubou = a yokai that's half-fish and half-woman (not to be confused with a mermaid); Bakekitsune = a three-tailed fox yokai with magical powers often used for shape shifting to a human form.]
Kuroku: You haven't changed, have you?(4)
Kuroku: The pervert doctor, // Doctor Okonogi.
Doctor: ...ha ha ha. // It's not nice to call me a pervert, Kuroku. //I'm just a petty village doctors who wishes to know more about the female body.
Doctor: Don't I always tell you? // How females are splendid creatures who will certainly enrich us males...
Kuroku: If you are our doctor, don't say unnecessary things. // Just do your job and get out of here!(5)
Chiaki: ...Kuroku-san seems to hate this person quite a bit... // I wonder what happened between those two...?
Doctor: Surely, I am Tama's Doctor Okonogi. // But, as A MAN----
Doctor: I'm worried about you, // Kuroku.
Doctor: You should show // some more interest in women.
Doctor: As always, you lack skill... // (Even though it was about that...) // Will you keep reacting in the same way as you did with the first issue, Kuroku?
Chiaki: Has he always been like this!!?
Kuroku: ...damn you. // The line outside...(6)
Kuroku: Because it takes you 20 minutes to examine one female, while it takes 2 seconds for a male // the line became gravely distorted!!!
Doctor: My, my.
Chiaki: Ar..are you really a doctor? Making a diagnose in such a short time...
Doctor: Oh, are you doubting me?
Doctor: I am a yokai, a Tenome. // These eyes see through everything they won't fail to detect any disease.
[T/N: Tenome = literally "eye of the hand", a man-like yokai that has eyes in his hands (and not in its face).]
Doctor: As I proof I'll examine by touch if my assistant, Satsuno-kun, isn't suffering from a disease in her chest.
Satsuno: Oh, I wonder if I turned off the gas at the main today.
Doctor: Whoa!!! Like a main tap, you, my right haaaaaand----!!
Chiaki: Ar... are you alright!?
Kuroku: Leave them alone, Chiaki.
Doctor: On top of that, because my arm // reached the highest level, // it'll heal right away.
Doctor: O...ouch... Ni...nice kick... // ...well, but
Doctor: Unfortunately it heals right away.
Kuroku: Bastard... get serious already!
Doctor: Oh, this is a new reaction, right?
Kuroku: ...well, // that was a disaster...
Kuroku: And it'll get even worse.
Kuroku: After this, it's time for the periodic medical examination of the city hall employees.
Chiaki: Whaaaaat!!? // I don't want that doctor to examine me!! I'd rather go to work in a swimsuit!!?
Kuroku: I..I wouldn't mind that!!
Chiaki: I already had a health check at school.
Kuroku: ...no, that's no good. // A living human body is weak and for it to be constantly affected by supernatural powers...... // That alone is already unusual.(9)
Kuroku: As long as you wear that hair ornament, you'll be alright 99% of the cases, but
Kuroku: Still // we can't be absolutely sure.
Chiaki: Bu... But.
Kuroku: ...don't skip the medical examination. // That's on order of your boss.
Chiaki: Eh...n...no, I, that...
Kuroku: I understand your feelings.
Kuroku: So, // if he tries something funny
Kuroku: tell me at once // and I'll send him flying. (10)
Chiaki: Eh... th..that...!?
Kuroku: ......by the way.
Kuroku: Just in case, // the head chief already gave me permission to hit him if he tries something again.
Chiaki: That's some messed up system!!
Doctor: We...well, if that's how it is. // I under...... // stand...!
Doctor: Then, please take off all your clothes.
Chiaki: He did it again, already!!!!(11)
Doctor: Ah, I'm sorry. Don't misunderstand me! // When I say "all", you don't have to take of your socks.
Chiaki: Just go and visit that sort of shop!!!
Kuroku: I'm here. Leave this to me!!
Doctor: Hey, hey. Wait a moment, Kuroku! // As I thought, I failed to convince you! // But you're also a "man", right!?
Doctor: Hey, hey. Just be honest, you're interested too, right!? // You also want to see Yuki-kun's improper figure!!
Chiaki: Kuroku-san, more to the left!! Hit him!!!
Kuroku: Bastard! That side of you...!! // I've despised it right from the start...!!(12)
Kuroku: Back then, you reorganized my desk without asking!! // Everyone who saw it------ // Take some responsibility, bastard!!
Yokai: Well, Kuroku is also a boy after all... (It worried me though.) // Kuroku-san, you've got some good stuff! // Ah, but it's too soon for you to watch any videos!!
Doctor: ...heh. // That's right, I felt like decorating that place a bit.
Chiaki: Ku...kuroku-san! (He's really too much-----)
Nurse: They're always like this. // Ah, but Kuroku-san seems to be more upset than usual.
Chiaki: Al.. always like this!?
Nurse: That's right. // It looks like they don't get along, but in truth----
Nurse: they really don't get along. ♡
Nurse: ...heh heh. // But...(13)
Nurse: Oh... over there.
Yokai: Buruooooo! If you didn't apply, you can't undergo a medical examination!! // Respect the patient!! Because I also don't have a health insurance card, issue me one!!!
Doctor: "CC disease". // Especially yokai that don't have a shred of willpower, self-restraint or self-reliance // will catch the latest epidemic virus, that will change them into a monster claimer that is affected by the ill will which is flourishing through the human world.
Chiaki: Even yokai suffer from modern diseases!![T/N: CC = Claimer Claimer]
Yokai: Y... You are the line...!? // Are... Are you the first...!?
Yokai: Cha... Change // with me...!!(15)
Kuroku: Get away, quick!
Yokai: Yes! // Thank you very much!
Kuroku: ...it's an emergency case, you shitty doctor! // Treat him already!
Chiaki: Ku..Kuroku-san, at any rate... // Doctor Okonogi is dangerous-----
Doctor: ...sure, it's dangerous. // The "CC disease" will forcibly extract your normal strength in tenfold until you lose all reason.
Chiaki: Wha...! (In that case...)
Doctor: ...that's why you have to treat it quickly. // If he would hold hands with a girl in this state, // he'll grow a body that won't allow him to go on a date in Tama park.
Nurse: Chiaki-san. // Please trust the doctor.
Nurse: To treat a yokai. // The difference between each species is about the same as the difference between a veterinary and a dentist.
Nurse: Even in the species registration file alone, // there are a several hundreds of species-----(16)
Nurse: In other corporate towns, it's only natural to have a large hospital that is split in almost a 1000 specialized departments. // But, the doctor... // has to take care of Tama all on his own...!
Nurse: ... he's a petty vilage doctor, who won't fail to detect any illness, // but loves to sexual harass his female patients.
Kuroku: ...yes, that's right... even though it makes me mad, // he's certainly-----
Kuroku: Tama's // doctor!(17)
Doctor: ...how foolish of me. // Pride is inevitable to a brilliant person, but
Doctor: I was had a suppository made by mistake.
Chiaki: He absolutely did it on purpose!!!!
[T/N: (for the non-native English people), a suppository has to be inserted into the rectum or vagina. Yes, that doctor-guy just put that huge injection like thing up in its ass, if you didn't notice yet.]
Doctor: ....even so
Doctor: You have changed, Kuroku.
Doctor: You didn't touch him. // If it had been a few months ago, you would've given him a good beating to end it, right?
Kuroku: ...he only got a bit weird, because he was ill. // ...by the way, you shouldn't have used that.
Kuroku: You could've healed him in a different way. You really have a bad personality.
Doctor: Ha ha ha, you're so strict on the guys.(18)
Nurse: In the end they are like two of a kind.
Nurse: On the outside they appear to hate each other, // but on the inside they respect each other's work. // Moreover
Nurse: when it's for Tama's sake // they can flawlessly turn the switch.
Nurse: They are // two professionals... I guess... right?
Kuroku: By the way, Okonogi. How about Chiaki's examination (you got interrupted.)
Doctor: Ah, about that...
Doctor: She's completely healthy.
Chiaki: Eh...Eh? // When did you...
Nurse: The doctor's "Tenome" can see as far as 2 kilometers. (No need to take off your clothes... ♥)
Chiaki: What, that shitty doctor!!
Chiaki: ...huh. // Oh?
Kuroku: What's wrong this time...
Chiaki: No... why... // My shoulders... // feel really light...? (This one too...)
Doctor: Yuki-kun, // for a girl of your age, you try to shoulder a burden that's too heavy. // You've been living your life, always tired from trying to be nice and from working too hard, right?
Doctor: You don't like to depend on others. // It's an illness common to nice people.
Doctor: ...because you're like that, // if you don't mind, // please keep looking after Kuroku from here on as well. (I'll always be there to treat your shoulders.)
Kuroku: Hey, Okonogi, what about my examination...
Doctor: Ah, it's done already.
Doctor: You're getting healthier. // ...looks like my treatment is working.
Doctor: Females are splendid creatures // who will certainly enrich us males.
Text: Without knowing it, that new bond is a miraculous medicine for all sorts of diseases!?
Kurokuroku Report 5 / End