Cyborg Grampa-G 14

On an island far away, a horrifying evil is about to be unleashed upon Japan. An evil so horrible that it may take everything G-chan and the Kaizou family have to take it down...

Chapter 14: Causing Trouble after 66 Years! (Beginning)

107.
Sharekoube: I’ve come now to this island in the South Seas.
Sharekoube: GUHUHU, HERE IS WHERE THEY SAY THAT A LEGENDARY MONSTER IS SLEEPING!!
(TN: The word “monster” is also known as “kaijuu”, which is the typical Japanese word used for giant Japanese monsters)
Sharekoube: According to an old book, this monster awakens after a sleep of 66 years and attacks Japan. Guhuhu, this monster will awaken from his sleep, sortie towards Japan and even G-chan will be crushed instantly!!
Sharekoube: But is there really…a monster on this island…

108-109.
Sharekoube: !?
Sharekoube: Oyo~~~!?
Caption 1: HEROIC! MYSTERIOUS!! WONDERFUL!! THE POWER OF THE GREATEST EVIL IN HISTORY!!!
(TN: The word “Mysterious” is “yuugen” in Japanese, but does not use the same kanji as the usual usage of “yuugen”. This “yuugen” is similar in kanji to the series “Yuugen Douji”, also known as “Kyon”, which was a popular series exported to Japan from China in the late 1980s around the time of this chapter)
Caption 2: PLOTTED IN TWO DAYS! PRODUCTION COSTS 3,824 YEN (Spent with tax)!!
Caption 3: THE SUPER GREAT SPECTACLE WORK CREATED BY MASTER SHIGERU HIJIKATA!!

Credits:
DIRECTOR: SHIGERU HIJIKATA
ARTIST: KASHUN HIRAKEI
PHOTOGRAPHER: SHOUGO SAGAMI
SALES: KASUSHI HINOKI
PROMOTER: EVA-CHAN

Side Box:
Also Playing: CONFUSED DETECTIVE GANTETSU
(TN: The title is a bit of a pun, typically “Meitantei” is “Great Detective” akin to “Meitantei Holmes” (a typical Japanese title for the tales of Sherlock Holmes), but with the kanji for “mei” changed from the kanji for “great” to the kanji for “confused”)

110.
Voice: I don’t believe it—G-chan’s was really cool when he was young—
G: Big reveal! Cyborg G-chan Young Version!
Voice: RE….REALLY~~!?
G: But, it’s rather weak from a side angle~~
Q: (Sip)
Kei & Ai: Wh~~at?
Q: But somehow there’s something strange about the color of the sky. That’s an omen that something bad will happen~~
Q: Even my omikuji has a “Great Curse”~~
(TN: An “omikuji” is a random paper with fortune found at a Shinto shrine and Buddhist temples to determine what the luck of the day will be. The strip that Q has is “Daikyou”, which is “great curse”)
Ai: What’s that, you granny!
Announcer: We interrupt your program for special news! It’s unbelievable but it’s happened! Today at early dawn, a mysterious giant monster appeared in Tokyo Bay!!
Sign: Announcer

111.
Kaizous: WH…WHAT~~~!? A MONSTER~~!?
Announcer: Now! What’s arrived in Japan is…
Announcer: Th…there it is—there’s the monster! Somehow, we think it’s a quite old Kaijuu!!
Ai & Eiichi: Gyahahaha, what’s that—
Kei: I’m not scared at all! AHAHA

112.
Announcer: Where did it come from? What reason has it arrived in Japan? We don’t know anything about this monster.
People: What a weird monster. We’re not fooled anymore—Ahaha
Monster: BOE~~~~~
Monster: BOE~~~(You’re all noisy)
People: Huh!? Wa—stinky—
Announcer: We…we’ve been damaged! Somehow this monster’s bad breath isn’t normal! Currently tens of people have fallen and been sent to the hospital!
G: Hyo!?
Sharekoube: GAHA GAHA GAHAHAHA~~~

113.
G: SHAREKOUBE!!
Sharekoube: Are you watching, G-cha~~n? The day has finally come where I’ll rule the world!!
Sharekobue: This monster will run amuck through Japan…no, every country in the world—and after, I’ll slowly conquer the world and the time will come for the establishment of Sharekoube’s World~~~!!
Announcer: WHO ARE YOU! SOMEHOW HAD APPEARED!
Sharekoube: I…I WILL RULE THE…GEFU…!
TV Caption: THE SCENE WAS TERRIBLY UGLY
G: ……
G: Sharekoube you…want to repeat the tragedy again from 66 years ago……
Kei: 66 years ago!!
G: I’ve recorded everything about that monster in this book! This is what grandpa himself, well, your great grandpa had written!
Book: ILLUSTRATED BOOKS OF SCARY BEASTS (You too can be a Scary Beast expert!)

114.
G: ACCORDING TO THE BOOK, HE IS THE SENILE MONSTER OLDZILLA! HE’S 57 METERS TALL, WEIGHS 550 TONS AND IS ESTIMATED 200 YEARS OLD!
(TN: The actual name of the monster is “Jijira”, which is a pun of the classic monster “Gojira” (changing it connected to “Jiji” or “Old Man”/”Grandpa”), but considering how easy it was to make the pun with the English name “Godzilla”, I made the slight adjustment accordingly to “Oldzilla”)
Captions (top to bottom)
-A brain that doesn’t think anything.
-Ears hear far away
-Smelly breath
-Oldzilla’s stomach can suck in anything
-Wilted
-Oldzilla’s legs and loins are extremely weak
Eiichi: Wasn’t 66 years ago the year of the Great Kanto Earthquake!?
(TN: Eiichi is referring to the “Great Kanto Earthquake of 1923”, which was notable for striking and destroying damage throughout the Kanto area, including devastating Tokyo and Yokohama, on September 1, 1923. Also remember: 66 years after 1923 was 1989, when this chapter was written)
G: Of course! That was caused by him running amuck!!
Kei: So—why is he coming to Japan again?
Ai: Even if we leave him be, it would be pitiful to hurt him.
G: Mu!?
G: WELL ACCORDING TO MY BOOK, OLDZILLA AWAKENS FROM HIS SLEEP WHEN HE REACHES THAT AGE……AND ATTACKS JAPAN TO ABSORB THE YOUTHFUL ENERGY OF THE YOUNG!!
Kaizous: WHAT!?

115.
Everyone: Wa—stop, G-chan, what are you doing!? Uwa—
Eiichi: Y…you can’t tell us we have to wear these and fight that monster!
Ai: You’re dead—one is too many.
Kei: It is!!
Z: Cool!!
G: Monster! Are you fine in making Japan a nation of old people!! Who will save Japan if we don’t fight!
Announcer: The people of Tokyo are ordered into emergency evacuation!
Eiichi: De—ar, do we have a passport!?
Ai: What are you doing with that pillow, po—ps.
G: You’re coming with.

116.
G: TRANSFORM: SCRAMBLE GANTETSU!!
G: Standby OK!
Eiichi: It’s…crowded!!
Ai: LET US GO---!!
G: TAKEOFF!!
Eiichi: Wa—the house of Hasegawa next door--!!
Announcer: The mysterious monster who has finally arrived is destroying the buildings while marching through Shinjuku!

117.
Oldzilla: BOGEE~~~!! (If I’ve come after 66 years) GUE~~~~~ (then know that I’m walking where I want!!)
People: Kyaa, Wa—
Announcer: We—ll, his feet slipped on a car and he fell.
Announcer: Aah, here comes our SDF!!
Announcer: Wha—what’s going on!?
Kaizous: You dummy, what were we doing shooting the SDF airplanes!!
Gantetsu: ?
G: Gantetsu! Your eyesight has gotten really old lately!!

118.
G: Mu!! There he is!
G: Wha—Gantetsu, we shouldn’t be approaching him!!
Oldzilla: ?
G: His eyes have gotten quite old too!
G: Gantetsu! I’ll leave all the flying after this to you!!
Kaizous: !?
G: Too!!
Kaizous: Wa—dummy--!!
G: I am Cyborg Grandpa G!! Oldzilla!! You’re not doing what you think you will any further!!

119.
G: STRAIGHT SPINAL HEALTH KI—CK!!
Oldzilla: BOGII!!
Ai: Great—G-chan!
Kei: That’s one kick of a gramps.
G: Hyo--! I’ve fallen in a wrinkle and can’t get out!
G: What, your hip gave out!
Oldzilla: OGEE~~~ (HAVE YOU COME TO FACE ME! THAT’S HOW MY HIP GAVE OUT~~~!!)
G: Hyo!? Tokyo Tower is……!!

120.
G: Hyo!? He’s such an old monster that he has to now use Tokyo Tower as a cane! He’s so bold and daring!!
G: He uses the 333 meter Tokyo Tower for his 57 meter height……MU…YOU’RE A TERRIBLY SENILE MONSTER, OLDZILLA.
Sharekoube: Gahaha, run wild, Oldzilla! With this, this Japan will soon be mine--!!
G: Sharekoube!!
G: You still speak that nonsense…
Sharekoube: Gahaha, look and see why!!
Sharekoube: Whatever you do with G-chan’s family will be fine!!
Kaizous: Save us, G-cha~~n!

121.
Kaizous: Wa—he’s eating us~~~
Announcer: Ah—That airplane has been captured by the monster!
People: WHAT!?
Oldzilla: KAAAA
Kaizous: Wa—something’s coming out of his mouth—
G: HIS TONGUE.
Oldzilla: Ptew
Kaizous: ………
Q: It’s finally my turn.
Kei & Ai: You can do it, grandma—

122.
Q: Here’s a sighing song with acoustic sound and clear, beautiful vocals to match!! DEADLY! HANNYA SHINGYOU HEAVY METAL VERSION!!
G: Grandma! You…you can’t do it!!
Q: (sings the sutra)
Kaizous: Stop it already, grandma!
People: Wa—
Announcer: It’s like being stabbed by a thousand needles!

123.
G: It’s no good, grandma! He’s a senile monster. Though his ears can hear far, they can’t hear well!!
Oldzilla: ?
Q: Wha—
G: WHAT! THAT HOLE WITHIN HIS STOMACH……
Kei & Ai: Ah, look!
Kei & Ai: It’s…starting to suck in!!

124.
G: Mu!? He’s
G: Sucking in people!
Announcer: We—ll! People are being sucked within the monster one after another……
G: Wha~~!?
Sharekoube: Gahaha, you knew it too, G-chan. What will happen to the people sucked in by Oldzilla…
G: N…NO, THAT’S HIS YOUTHFUL ENERGY…!?
Sharekoube: Watch! Oldzilla is sucking in youth!!

125.
Kei, Ai & Z: He….he’s getting younger……
Sharekoube: AND THEN HE TRANSFIGURES TO THE VILLAINOUS MONSTER OLDZILLA!!

126.
ILLUSTRATED BOOKS OF SCARY BEASTS (You too can be a Scary Beast expert!!)
OLDZILLA
(from top to bottom)
-A brain that doesn’t think anything.
-Ears hear far away
-Smelly breath
-Oldzilla’s stomach can suck in anything
-Oldzilla’s tail is wilted
-Oldzilla’s legs and loins are extremely weak
-General Council of Trade Unions: Whatever it eats, it will be tasty.
*It used to be written “Scary Beasts”
(TN: The comment at the end is commenting on “Kuwaijuu” as a former reading of “Kaijuu”, and I approximated it)

TN: Yeah, some of you are probably cringing at the name of the monster but I thought the pun was cool. What the heck is wrong with "Oldzilla" as a name anyway, particularly in how close it is regardless to "Godzilla". In a way, the key behind how cool this chapter was is the epicness: Obata decided to take this battle between G-chan and Oldzilla (and Sharekoube on the side) and turn it into a film-like struggle as if people were going to see this in a movie theater! In some ways this does feel rather strange looking back on this and compare it to the multimedia successes other Obata series would get later on (in particular the three live-action films from "Death Note", which obviously had more serious campaigns than this) but it is fun that the kaijuu genre is being made fun of with this two parter...and it's only going to get more interesting with the second half!