Kochira Katsushikaku Kameari Kouenmae Hashutsujo 3

Among the many things that Ryoutsu has against him is that he's an officer of the law...and he's middle aged. Of course, with all the trouble he faces, the least of which comes from troublemakers way younger than him!

Chp. 3: The Boys of Kameari

80.
Ryoutsu: Hm~~m, well then…
Magazine Cover:
WEEKLY OTOKO JISHIN (MAN MYSELF)
Sendai Masara-san
Congratulations, finally!
-New Mangaka Oogame Ken Gets to Remodel a Model Gun!
Ryoutsu: Oota Hiromi is having a recital at Kameari Town Hall.
(TN: Hiromi Oota is a notable idol of the 1970s, notable for her releases for a period between 1974-1983 as well as her most famous song, 1975’s “Momen no Handkerchief”)
Back of Magazine: Emeron Minki Shampoo
(TN: “Emeron Minki” is a brand of “Emeron”, notable for their commercials featuring famed 70s idol Agnes Lum)
Ryoutsu: I really need to see that.
Ryoutsu: What!? Agnes Lum is finally decided the release date of her record!! We’ll have a campaign for that in front of all the stations in the country…It will include “Hawaiian Omanta” sung together with Minami Haruo; the B-side……”Agnes Ondo”, well then………
(TN: Haruo Minami is a notable enka singer who made his name in the 50s and was popular through his death in 2001.)
Ryoutsu: Mu!?
Sign: EMERON MINKI SOAP (Made in Hawaii)
Ryoutsu: Porno actress Tachibana Rie is finally getting married!?
(TN: Rie Tachibana was a porn actress active between 1975-1976)
Cigarette Box: Seven Stars
Ryoutsu: Her partner is a seinen mangaka………
Magazine: EMERON MINKI JUICE
Ryoutsu: S**t, she’s too good for him………
Magazine: EMERON MINKI RADIO
Ryoutsu: She had a lot of fans at this post too……

81.
Ryoutsu: What’s with that worried face………
Magaizne: EMERON MINKI TV
Ryoutsu: Upu.
WomanK KYAAA
Ryoutsu: Uge~~gege~~
Door: KEEP OUT
Ryoutsu: S**t, I looked bad.
Ryoutsu: I shouldn’t eat Seven Stars dipped in tsuyu sauce! It~~’s disgusting—cough cough.

82.
Ryoutsu: Ah~~I feel terrible. I finally can stop smoking, but it completely came back now.
Ryoutsu: A—ah, I feel queasy……my eyes are spinning.
Ryoutsu: I’m not disturbed about lunch anymore, really. Am I already both ashamed and honored? S**t! I feel dizzy.
Ryoutsu: Perhaps I’ll die now………honestly, it will be an honorable death on duty for this police station……
Ryoutsu: ?
Ryoutsu: What, you’re the brats of the neighborhood……I don’t feel like playing today, go home!

83.
Tall Boy: What are you doing, cop-san? Playing a squashed toad?
Ryoutsu: Shut up and get away from me! I’ve fainted, don’t go near me.
Tall Boy: Hey, is this another Indian trick~~
Ryoutsu: Idiot, this isn’t the time for that.
Short Boy: Don’t say such cold things~~
Ryoutsu: If you don’t go home soon, I’ll throw you in a cell!!
Short Boy: Hey—you’re like a gorilla angry.
Ryoutsu: Alright! I’ll die and they’ll go home…
Ryoutsu: Huh…?

84.
Short Boy: Big brother, is the cop dead?
Older Brother: Could he!?
Older Brother: So then, shall we test?
Older Brother: He’s not moving………
Younger Brother: Hm—m
Younger Brother: I’ll do it too…
Younger Brother: If he was dead, it won’t hurt if stabbed with a pen, right?
Older Brother: Naturally. Shamelessly stab him……
Younger Brother: There.
Younger Brother: Huh?
Younger Brother: Big brother, he moved now.
Older Brother: Alright, we’ll clear it up. Put him on fire! He won’t leave…

85.
Younger Brother: Uwa
Ryoutsu: Don’t be so reckless, brats!!
Ryoutsu: I was patient going along with you, but put me on fire!? You really are the tip of dreadful brats………
Ryoutsu: Boys who play tricks like you should be thrown into the park lake!
Older Brother: Hey, forgive us, especially since we can play beigoma.
(TN: “Beigoma” is a traditional top wrapped in a string played by boys in Japan)
Ryoutsu: Not today; no forgiveness.
Younger Brother: Hey, which do you want to throw first?

86.
SFX: WINK
Older Brother: Uwaaaaah, the cop is going to kill us~~
Younger Brother: And we didn’t do anything~~
Brothers: Uwaa~~h, we’re going to be killed by the cop.
Ryoutsu: Id…idiots, it’s a misunderstanding.
Ryoutsu: I lost. Do as you want! S**t!
Ryoutsu: What are you looking at? You’re scattering quickly! Don’t go away!
Ryoutsu: Mu

87.
Ryoutsu: Ku…kuku…th…those braaats.
Ryoutsu: I’ll crush you!
Younger Brother: We’ve done it.
Ryoutsu: Damn this………they’re smart brats!

88.
Ryoutsu: Thanks to the morisoba I ate for lunch, my eyes became terrible, really…
Ryoutsu: But my heartburn has calmed from my earlier outcry.
Ryoutsu: But this…I can’t use it as its drying.
Ryoutsu: Oh well: if it’s broke, I’ll replace it with one of my colleagues when they come to the station…that’s a good idea.
Ryoutsu: Hold on…they’ll quickly know it’s my gun with the serial number when it’s fired. How could we be professional police…!?
Ryoutsu: Even so, it’s hard to assemble this…disassembly is terribly easy but
Ryoutsu: Like a jigsaw puzzle, it’s a time waster when bored……

89.
Ryoutsu: No! The chief and the others will be returning real soon.
Ryoutsu: S**t, its complex with this spring and this pin. I’m getting nervous!!
Ryoutsu: Do I know this stupid pistol!
Ryoutsu: Hold on, hold on: I can’t always throw it away midway. Do this, Ryoutsu!! Endure!
Ryoutsu: I’ve done it! It’s finally finished.
Ryoutsu: Strange……there are three pieces left……
Ryoutsu: Oh well: humans don’t accomplish anything if they sweat the small stuff. Hahaha, at any rate, it’s great that it’s fixed.
(TN: Yeah the “sweat the small stuff” is an English colloquialism, but basically it’s “if people worry about little things”)

90.
Ryoutsu: They forgot a box.
Ryoutsu: I’m sure they’ll come to take it back. Alright, I’ll hide it.
Ryoutsu: I’m worried about what’s inside…is it menko, marbles…
(TN: “Menko” are slapping cards used for a particular game)
Ryoutsu: ………
Ryoutsu: Its bugs! A swarm of bugs!
Older Brother: Cop-san, they were in our box earlier………
Ryoutsu: You’re too late, stupid!

91.
Ryoutsu: Hey, help me! Hurry and catch them all!
Ryoutsu: If the chief finds this, I’ll have to write another apology……
Ryoutsu: N?......
Chief: Ryoutsu-kun, since when has this station been turned into a bughouse?
Ryoutsu: Well, I thought that I would strive at my work while steadily listening to the sound of bugs in the autumn evening……
Chief: Well, I see that…
Chief: You actually have a unique idea. How about using your bright intelligence at Hachijoujima Station?
(TN: “Hachijoujima” is an island that is 300km south of Tokyo in the Pacific Ocean, but administered as part of them. It is typically used as a local vacation spot due to its distance and approximation to Tokyo)

92.
Chief: Ryoutsu, do something or I’m transferring you to Interpol and send you down to South Africa.
(TN: The chief actually makes mention of ICPO, but that’s the initials for Interpol)
Ryoutsu: Phew, somehow we’ve caught them all………
Ryoutsu: S**t, it’s your fault that I’ve been redressed…
Voice: Hey, Ryou-san……

93.
Officer: Do you know what happened to the cigarettes I left here? I know you wouldn’t smoke since you were quitting……
Ryoutsu: The original perpetrator was you~~
Officer: Wh…what’s with that suddenly?
Ryoutsu: You’re why the tsuyu sauce that was placed here…no, it’s why Tachibara Rie is getting married…..Huh?
Officer: Wh…what are you talking about? What?
Ryoutsu: Oh well. Don’t put your cigarettes near me again! Dummy.
Chief: Ryoutsu, did you check the documents you’re handing over to second shift?
Ryoutsu: Well, actually, just already having the zeal for my duties is the merit of my post.
Chief: Hm, so we can substitute, in a way………
Chief: You don’t really understand what you’re doing here. Can you explain?
Ryoutsu: Right, chief.

94.
Scribbles: (top to bottom)
SEX
MY FAULT MY FAULT
KUE KUE
LUM/OLDIE
JERK OFF OF THE CORP
REALLY VIOLATED!

Ryoutsu: While we were in the park earlier, those brats did that……
Ryoutsu: Th…that was those brats…no, children…
Chief: This couldn’t be done by children…are you mistaken?
Ryoutsu: No, those kids were drawing that happily. They were really happy……
Chief: Happy? Well that’s good.
Chief: Ryoutsu, has it been a while since you’ve had a day off? Are you tired?
Ryoutsu: Huh?
Chief: Of course: I think it would be better if you take it easy on vacation once you’ve had an exam at a police hospital.
Ryoutsu: That’s great.
Chief: Turn this report in to HQ! And don’t leave this station tomorrow!

95.
Chief: As for our earlier conversation, you’re not suited for South Africa. Anywhere would be fine, whether it’s the Amazon or New Guniea……when I’ve decided the best place, I’ll tell you.
Chief: Really, how could HQ really hire him? It’s a useless use of tax money.
Woman: Um?
Woman: Is there a cop that looks like a gorilla?
Chief: Did Ryoutsu do something again!?
Woman: No, actually he saved the life of these children……
Chief: Huh, what!!
Woman: Around noon, the school buses usually go to the kindergarten, but they were playing at this police box and they missed it…However, I was surprised hearing that that bus got into an accident…

96.
Woman: Ryoutsu-san, thank you very much. This is all thanks to these children’s favorite cop.
Chief: Hahaha, of course of course, young wife……..
Chief: Our head patroller Ryoutsu is the pride of our station, no~~really. Please look at this fearless face!
Chief: He truly is a skilled youthful officer……
Ryoutsu: Chief, earlier you…
Chief: He’s consistently aiming to be a policeman beloved by the populace. He strenuously shows his might day and night with his flags of understanding and trust.
Woman: You cops truly have terrible jobs. Please do your best!

97.
Woman: Particularly you, Ryoutsu-san……
Ryoutsu: No, actually………
Chief: Someday he’ll end up as chief officer………
Ryoutsu: Ch…chief, is that true?
Chief: Isn’t it obvious? The smoldering of excellent person like you is HQ’s loss.
Ryoutsu: Chief…I’ve had an incredible misunderstanding of you until now.
Chief: Right, don’t you dream of being superintendent general in the end?
Ryoutsu: I would die at Police HQ.
Chief: Good luck……
Woman: This is for the cop from the children……please takes it.

98.
Woman: So then, pardon us.
Ryoutsu: Haa, thank you…
Ryoutsu: Chief~~!
Chief: Hoho, busy busy.
Ryoutsu: Hihihihihi…today is a great day.
Woman: Huh, wh—at?
Older Brother: Whisper whisper
Woman: What! That’s in the box!?
Ryoutsu: A present from a beauty. Isn’t it my dream to be “hakochou” (note). With determination, I can be at HQ in 15 years. The flowers have finally bloomed today……
(Note) “hakochou” – “Hako” is language used when the cops are called to the station. “Hakochou” is the language among fellow cops for the chief of a station.
Ryoutsu: Is it cake or Katsuobushi…………………
(TN: “Katsuobushi” is small pieces of sliced bonito)

99.
Ryoutsu: Hyaa, bugs again!
Chief: Hey Ryoutsu~~!! Do you have a bug cage in this station?
Ryoutsu: No, it was those kids from earlier!
Chief: You’ll get killed when there’s an opening for your life! Remember that well!!
Ryoutsu: Those meanies, they were lying? Lying!?
Chief: Shut up! Devil of HQ! Eat these bugs and die!
Ryoutsu: It’s a misunderstanding, this isn’t my fault. Believe me!
Banner: Safe Traveling in the Fall

TN: I get that boys will be boys but...don't you think Ryoutsu really got the worst of it this time around? I get that seeing a bumbling middle-age man get bossed by kids is funny in some ways (particularly the ending where he ends up covered in bugs again) but I guess I felt more sympathy for him than watching the kids get away with it so often. I think moreso than this chapter really being about Ryoutsu's trials with the brats, this was more an introductory chapter for another crucial character in this world: the chief of Kameari Station. He seems like a good antagonist and likewise potential ally for Ryoutsu, going from preparing to send him off to the wilds to thinking he may eventually be the boss at HQ! (though the latter was probably more to appease the woman) There were some other fun moments though, like Ryoutsu putting his gun back together and the beginning where we get some weird 70s Japanese references while he eats tsuyu covered cigarettes. I guess this will help me appreciate Agnes Lum and Hiromi Oota better just like "Otokojuku" made me finally start looking up Pink Lady, huh...