Kochira Katsushikaku Kameari Kouenmae Hashutsujo
An Abo-meat-able Person!?
-> RTS Page for Kochira Katsushikaku Kameari Kouenmae Hashutsujo 9
As seasons change, the cold may bring new problems to the cops of Kameari station...but at the same time, new problems will lead to new opportunities...which may lead to new troubles!
Chp. 9: An Abo-meat-able Person!?
(TN: The title of the chapter is actually a pun: the full title is “Nikui Yatsu!?”; while “nikui” is typically “hateful” or “abominable”, there is an emphasis on the “niku” which is “meat”, therefore why my title is “Abo-meat-able”)
Totsuka: Fuu~~it’s really cold, I’m so beat.
Terai: Well, it’s warm inside!
(TN: Note Nakagawa reading “Toudai Icchokusen”)
Ryoutsu: Hey, close it quickly! We’ve finally got it warm in here.
Totsuka: Che, what’s with your speaking manner? We’ve been on patrol in the midst of the cold.
Ryoutsu: Well that’s how you are. You’re an idiot for going outside on a day like this.
Totsuka: If I were full of it like Ryoutsu, I’d screw up the rules of policemen.
Ryoutsu: ? ?
Ryoutsu: Did you say something?
Totsuka: No…I…didn’t…(internal) That idiot…has sharp ears.
Totsuka: Well even so, it’s terribly cold. We must install central heating into this station.
Ryoutsu: Seems so! We spoke to the chief on that last week but…what a stubborn oldie.
Ryoutsu: At least we really need a panel heater……
(TN: “Panel Heater” is another name for a wall heater)
Ryoutsu: Hey, Terai, what are you doing over there!?
Terai: No, wait……it’s really cold so I need a bit……
Totsuka: Ah, he’s drinking booze!
Ryoutsu: What are you doing! Alcohol on duty…
Ryoutsu: Can’t you have fun with everyone with that?
Ryoutsu: Nakagawa! Look for some bottle, a small one.
Nakagawa: We only have these but……
Ryoutsu: Good, good, hehehe.
Totsuka: What are you doing, Ryoutsu…
Ryoutsu: In the winter, hot sake is the best!
Totsuka: There are few times when he doesn’t have that face
Totsuka: But doing that will have me want to have smelt…
Nakagawa: Senpai, let’s eat something with that.
Ryoutsu: Some food……I’m sick of Mori Soba and even Moyashi Soba……a much warmer item……
(TN: “Mori soba”, as I explained before, is a basic “chilled soba on a flat plate”. On the other hand, “moyashi soba” is a type of vegetable soup including soba noodles and vegetables such as garlic, courgette, leek, onion and beans in a chicken stock)
Ryoutsu: Of course! Sukiyaki!! We’ll make sukiyaki for this!! That will be the best!!
Nakagawa: Eh—here……really, senpai!?
Totsuka: That’s a good idea. With a bit of work, we can get everything.
Ryoutsu: So, I’ll leave the meat to all of you. Let’s prepare it immediately.
Terai: Meat………do we have the money?
Ryoutsu: Do we have money that we got from fund raising done by the kids at Kameari Elementary yesterday!?
Terai: Ryou-san, that may be a bit unwise……to use the fund-raising for that…
Ryoutsu: What are you saying? We got this…from the people that we help out in public. We policemen work for the people of Tokyo every day of the year. How is it bad that we borrow from them?
Terai: That’s an absurd theory.
Ryoutsu: Oh, it’s full as I thought…
Ryoutsu: So then, Nakagawa, get on this immediately.
Nakagawa: Huh, me? I can’t in the midst of the cold……
Ryoutsu: So, Totsuka, you’ll go to the supermarket for a bit to buy the meat!!
Totsuka: I say it’s cold too. I can’t go there alone.
Nakagawa: Senpai! Let’s decide by lottery. That would work.
Nakagawa: There, it’s best by Amida. Now, choose what you like.
(TN: “Amida” is in reference to “amidakuji”, a type of lottery involving setting up a diagram with a ladder-like set-up and selections at the bottom. The people involved choose a line and follow the diagram downwards until reaching the bottom, where the final “choice” is reached)
Choices (right to left): MEAT / TOFU & SHIRATAKI / LEEK & EGG
(TN: Shirataki is a konnyaku-made noodle)
Nakagawa: Uwa, I got the meat!
Totsuka: I got shirataki an…tofu.
Terai: Leek and egg. The green grocer is far away.
Totsuka: Hey, what are you doing, Ryoutsu?
Ryoutsu: Me? I’m cooking…So it’s fine. I’ll watch the box……
Totsuka: D**mn, it’s because you always poush up to the bad jobs.
Ryoutsu: Shut up and buy it immediately, hurry and go!
Ryoutsu: How could I go outside on a cold day? And I finally got this room warm…..
Visitor: Um, I want to know a bit of directions……
Ryoutsu: You idiot, what are you doing! Isn’t it cold out!!
Visitor: Eh, well…I want direction…so, well…
Ryoutsu: You can’t come inside separately. Talk from outside, from outside!
Ryoutsu: Huh, what’s that? Huh?
Visitor: Um, well, where is Tomodaore Manufacturing Company…?
(TN: Yeah, it’s the same company as the prologue)
Ryoutsu: How can you open it on your own!
Visitor: Um, well, I know my way. I…I’ll search for it on my own…
Ryotsu: Thanks for helping me!
Ryoutsu: What was that guy, speaking so stupidly to a policeman!
Ryoutsu: It’s getting completely cold thanks to him…..N!?
Younger Brother: I did want to hear a bit from cop-san but
Older Brother: Well, will it be alright!?
Ryoutsu: From me!?
Younger Brother: We’re writing about a day for a cop, so can you tell us…
Ryoutsu: D**m, keep down, I’ll do it later, later.
Ryoutsu: What is it? What do you want to ask me!?
Younger Brother: What do you do here during the day?
Ryoutsu: The day……well of course…….I watch TV, read manga, and on weekdays I bet on horse-races…
Younger Brother: Watch TV, read manga…
Older Brother: And horse-racing too…….
Ryoutsu: Hey, you two, what are you writing?
Younger Brother: Huh? This is for school.
Older Brother: It’s social studies homework.
Ryoutsu: Of…of course. So that’s what it is. Sorry, I was bad. It was a mistake now. It was all a lie, hahahahahaha.
Younger Brother: Well, really……?
Ryoutsu: There, so then I’ll tell you.
Ryoutsu: We’re policemen who work away from base, different from officers who work in an office: we have a livelihood constantly being glued to the people of our area……that is. If there’s a crime to the east, then we’re the ones left to prevent it immediately; if there’s an accident to the west, we’re the ones who are left to handle traffic immediately; it’s a job filled with troubles.
Nakagawa: Senpai! I bought beef.
Ryoutsu: And we use power to round up beef……
Ryoutsu: No! Was that a mistake? Oh, Nakagawa, you were really fast.
Nakagawa: I rode in a car in the midst of patrol. I can’t walk on a cold day.
Nakagawa: What’s that, are these kids yours?
Ryoutsu: What are you saying? They want to ask various things for their social studies homework.
Ryoutsu: I’ll prepare the pot and bowls……
Nakagawa: Then I’ll assist the children.
Ryoutsu: That Nakagawa, he likes kids surprisingly…
Ryoutsu: I really don’t miss having women and children. I feel prejudiced about him.
Ryoutsu: Totsuka and Terai are late. What exactly are they doing?
Ryoutsu: Um—This is Ryoutsu, this is Ryoutsu; Totsuka, respond on the supplies. Totsuka, respond on the supplies.
Totsuka: This is Totsuka, I’ve gotten the shirotaki, now I’m getting the tofu, over……
Ryoutsu: I’m so hungry I could die. Hurry and come back, over.
Totsuka: Understood, I’ll return using up all my power!
Ryoutsu: He’s seriously shopping at this moment.
Ryoutsu: Hey! What are you doing in this room!
Nakagawa: This seemed like a place to fire it for the kids.
Ryoutsu: Aa—h, that’s enough, you’ve opened a large hole in the wall…..
Ryoutsu: It’s terrible I have to hide it separately. If you’re going to shoot, go outside and shoot, dummy.
Older Brother: Show us your quick-draw this time!
Nakagawa: He’s much faster than me at the quick-draw. Somehow he’s the fastest of the HQ.
Nakagawa: Senpai, can you show the kids?
Ryoutsu: Shut up, I’m busy now!
Totsuka: Uh—it’s cold. Hey, we got the leek.
Terai: It’s cold.
Totsuka: Well then, shall we immediately……N? What’s with those kids?
Nakagawa: It’s a field trip to the station…………
Totsuka: Well, you want to be a policeman!? Best to give that up: we get low pay and our work is trouble…this isn’t a good job. Get a much more respectable job in society.
Terai: Stop that, Totsuka, you’re not serious.
Totsuka: I’m serious, I was speaking serious…seriously.
Terai: Well what about protecting the city’s public order………?
Ryoutsu: Well, out of the way. The sukiyaki is passing through!
Ryoutsu: Hehe: well, we can finally begin. Nakagawa, stand guard outside!
Totsuka: Well, that’s he’s got a lot of that great meat. That will give us stamina…
Ryoutsu: This is because we splendidly got those grade-school funds. What an opportunity…………now and then.
Ryoutsu: What is it? Keep it down.
Terai: Those two are grade-school students. It’s their funds……
Older Brother: Cop-san, did you buy that with the money we gave you yesterday…?
Ryoutsu: Do…don’t say such stupid things. This is properly bought by the crystallization of our blood and sweat, all of it.
Totsuka: It…it is. Absolutely. We rarely…no, never do that!!
Younger Brother: Huh, is that true?
Older Brother: It seems like an excuse……
Ryoutsu: Well, that’s quieted them. Now, let’s eat.
Totsuka: Hehe, it’s bad while drinking with the sake. You can only do this in winter.
Totsuka: Hmm, this is really good.
Terai: It really is. You have skills you don’t show on the outside, Ryou-san. It’s flavor are the tears of Ajihei.
(TN: The “Ajihei” part is in reference to the mid-70s WSJ cooking series “Hōchōnin Ajihei” by Jirou Gyuu and Jou Biggu)
Totsuka: Terai, you must have found some worth in living with Ryou-san.
Ryoutsu: Dummy, if you’re speaking bad, you shouldn’t say it.
Ryoutsu: You two, you’ve asked enough. Hurry and go home. Hey, immediately!
Younger Brother: But I want to ask a bit more about our funds and the sukiyaki…
Nakagawa: Senpai, I want some too. It’ll be great to keep watch outside while eating.
Ryoutsu: Chi, if you want it, then get chopsticks and a bowl.
Ryoutsu: As is, I can have 1/6th of the meat…S**t! You can’t be joking!
Totsuka: Ow, what are you doing?
Ryoutsu: Totsuka, you should hold off a bit on the meat, due to your diabetes.
Ryoutsu: It seems I’ve heard that you can have hakusai.
(TN: “Hakusai” is Chinese cabbage, either is fine for the translation)
Ryoutsu: Hey! Terai, you can’t have meat either.
Ryoutsu: Eat tofu, since you have a bit of high blood pressure. Here, we’re full of them.
Ryoutsu: Nakagawa! What are you doing! I’ve watched you since earlier and you’ve only been eating meat.
Ryoutsu: Since you have light complexion, you need to take it vitamins by eating more shirotaki.
Nakagawa: How are there vitamins in shirotaki?
Ryoutsu: We’re going to eat the leeks. We’ll become smart by eating those.
Totsuka: What? With what he’s saying all the meat is gathering in Ryoutsu’s area……
Ryoutsu: Dummy! I have to have meat since I’m anemic, I must have nourishment. I’m defeated from having such strict duties.
Totsuka: What are you saying? That’s dirty.
Totsuka: You’ve been saying this and that since earlier, having us eat only vegetables and monopolizing the meat!
Ryoutsu: Hey hey, the kids are looking! You’re doing it in front of the kids! The kids…
Totsuka: D**m, he’s “stocked” up those kids for just this moment.
(TN: Totsuka used the expression “dashi ni tsukau” for “using these kids”, but made an emphasis on “dashi”, which can also be used as “stock”, which can lead to a pun on “the stock of a soup…or in this case, sukiyaki”)
Ryoutsu: I said that you become smart by eating leeks; meat is poison!! It’s bad for your bodies.
Younger Brother: Osamu-chan, we’re going to school writing about how our funds were used for sukiyaki.
Ryoutsu: I get it, I get it. If we do this, then you’ll forget about the sukiyaki!
Younger Brother: Uwa, you’re giving us a lot!?
Fuutarou: Hehehe, this place is really bustling.
Ryoutsu: What is it, Fuutarou? What are you doing here?
Fuutarou: Since I haven’t eaten anything good in two or three days, I’m joining your bunch……
Ryoutsu: You’re didn’t work on it, you’re a loafer. Go home!!
Fuutarou: Of course, I get it. So then, I’m the most hated person in this society somehow……
Terai: Ryou-san, he may have done an eat-and-run again.
Ryoutsu: I get it, eat! Help yourself already!
Ryoutsu: You can’t really eat the meat. Your body will be shocked if you eat a nice thing quickly.
Fuutarou: It’s fine. Meat isn’t my favorite food……
Younger Brother: Well, this is about the funds but……
Ryoutsu: Shouldn’t you forget everything about it since you ate the sukiyaki?
Younger Brother: Right. We’ll forget, but we think you should collaborate too in our year-end funds.
Younger Brother: If you’re against it, we’ll write for school about the sukiyaki and the funds……right?
Ryoutsu: S**t, those brats.
Osamu: If you can, all of you can collaborate in the funds.
Totsuka, Terai & Nakagawa: Huh—us too!?
Younger Brother: Well, thanks for the collaboration, cop-san.
Fuutarou: Well, call me again when you have sukiyaki.
Ryoutsu: Shut up. None of you can ever come back!!
Totsuka: Damn, they took three thousand yen from me……
Nakagawa: They took ten-thousand yen from me too………
TN: I think Ryoutsu had it coming this time from those two compared to the first encounter, where they just bugged him (literally) over and over again. Sure we really don't know where school-fundraisers for a police station goes to usually, but I highly doubt they usually go for an office party of sukiyaki! For the most part, this was a really fun chapter that used a lot of the characters that we've met so far (Ryoutsu and most of the Kameari officers...well aside from the chief, the brothers, Fuutarou) and made a fun tale that did a lot more than many manga seem to in a single chapter. (then again that's me dealing with all that dialogue) While the "meat war" in regards to eating sukiyaki has been done probably several times in many manga (I know Gintama had a classic version), seeing it done in KochiKame was fun considering Ryoutsu at least gave offers of all the vegetables to the rest of the group. But of course...I sort of got a bit lost on the ending: did the other officers complain about donating money to the kids...or just spending more than in the box for the sukiyaki that they partook in? (my guess is the former due to how they guilted them all in the end...though Fuutarou just got a free dinner)