Gintama 672

[Gintama 672 Translation by Kewl0210]
Page 1:
Title: Lesson 672
Watch Out For Cryptocurrency
Author: Sorachi Hideaki
Insert: At the center of the government...
Person: ---Now then,
Insert: ☆The TV Anime 'The Silver Soul Arc' is now airing at 1:35AM on TV Tokyo and Affiliates!!
Person: commemorating the establishment of our National Parliament building,
our leader,
and the first Prime Minister,
Donald Zurump-kun will give a greeting...
Zura: It's not Zurump!!
It's Katsuraaaa!!
SFX: BAN

Page 2:
SFX: ZAWA (Crowd murmering)
Zura: ---Ah,
sorry, my mistake. That's just a little habit of mine.
When I said Katsura before, I meant as in "wig", not like a name.
I just figured I should get that out in the open before the media gets wind of it on their own.
SFX: CHUN
Zura: I am Japan's first Prime Minister, Donald Zurump.
I'm saying this up here on this platform representing all of you,
but I am not better or more special than any of you.
Just like all of you out there,
I am an ordinary human that eats, shits, and sleeps.
Up until now, we have been carried by a king called a Shogun,
and lived out lives relying on his administration.
We could blame all the bad things on him and his Bakufu,
and not take responsibility for our own way of living and the state of our own country.

Page 3:
Zura: Because of that, we
lost our king.
And that which they carried on their backs and protected,
we must not let go to waste.
They said themselves, this country no longer needs a Shogun,
that each of us should bear responsibility for deciding out own way of living,
that an era has come in which unless we combine our strengths to support the country, we will not last.
Yes, every last citizen living in this country
is a small king
that has stood up on this platform.

Page 4:
In each of our chests,
the kings still live.
So let us live so they can rest without shame.
And let us make a country they would be proud of.
When we countless kings join hands and unite as a country,
the sad past will become our pride.
That day will not be the day our country became rubble,
it will be the day our country was reborn!
SFX: WAAAA DOH
Guys: Huh?
Hey, look....
It can't be!!

Page 5:
Guy: You crook, warping our country's history...
Take this divine punishment!
!!
SFX: ZURIH
Zura: On that note,
BooK: Constitution of Japan
Zura: I would like to establish new rules to be the foundation to our new country.
SFX: PAN GOAAA
Zura: That is this 'Constitution'.
The basics of what we will all build together will be recorded here.
SFX: PARA PARA
Zura: Each of you can get it as a free extra in Jump, Sunday, or Magazine.
Guy: Was... he just stabbed? Wasn't that an assassin?
SFX: DO DO DO DO
Guys: Donald Zurump!!
We will deliver divine punishment to all traitors that encroach on our country!!
SFX: WAAAAA KYAAAA
SFX: DO DO DO DO

Page 6:
SFX: DOGYAAA
Zura: The path for us to walk is a long and harsh one.
But if we work together,
SFX: DO DO DO DO
SFX: GYAN GYAN
Zura: I am certain
SFX: OOOO
Zura: that we can accomplish our goals.
So every-
..........
SFX: KYAAA WAAAA GYAAA
Guys: This is your new country?
Hm, if it fell apart from a few bullets, is it really all that great?
SFX: GACHA GACHA
Zura: So, you did not bring any harm to others?
Your only target is me?
Hmph. I never thought I would be the one on the side receiving divine punishment.
I cannot repudiate you.
The direction of people like you may be different, but you are undeniably a source of energy for moving the country.
But allow me to give you one piece of advice.
SFX: PIH

Page 7:
Zura: Real divine punishment isn't so soft.
You, who call yourselves revolutionaries. You must be more wary of the changing era.
That kind of divine punishment is old hat. From this point,
You're
fire~~~d!!
SFX: DO DOOON
Matsu: ---I see. You failed, huh?
Don't sweat it. There'll be other changes.
SFX: KYU WAAA
Matsu: Well, there ya have it. That's the princess's rival.
Our country's first Prime Minister, Donald Zurump. Ya know, Katsura Kotarou.
Shin: Uh, you were just acting as the mastermind behind an assassination of the Prime Minister, weren't you?

Page 8:
Matsu: What kind of idiot would entrust a country to a former terrorist?
I'll give you that the restructuring plans he suggested are revolutionary,
but this and that are completely different things.
Shin: You allied yourself with him before? Why go back to how things were now?
Matsu: That was no more than some wolves temporarily having the same prey. With that prey gone, it's a territory battle.
Shin: But I mean, you owe him, don't you? After all he did when you were captured on Kokujou Island...?
Zura: You know, don't you, Matsudaira?
What I am trying to open is not the cell you are locked in.
It is a door to a new era.
If we escape this island, and a time to reorganize the country comes...
Matsu: Yeah, yeah. Whether it's with the Bakufu or with a new government, I'll make sure you get an influential post.
If I you live, anyhow.
Matsu: Well I thought for sure he was gonna die somewhere along the line.
Shin: No, you totally created that monster Prime Minister, didn't you?!
Matsu: Nah, in that situation I had to say that sorta thing.
My thought was that it would be a one-time appointment where if he became a nuisance, we could eliminate him. But that guy just doesn't die.
Shin: The new government sounds like way darker than it the one before!!
Then the thing you started the whole thing was you! The Shinsengumi being crushed was your fault, too, then, right?!
Matsu: Once he's eliminated, they'll come back.
On that note, Yorozuya, with regards to why I'm talking to you about all this...

Page 9:
Matsu: Have you... ever killed someone before?
Shin: No way in hellllll!! What the hell are you trying to make me an accomplice to?!!
Matsu: Did ya think you still had that sorta choice after listenin' to all that?
You've got two choices. Kill, or take this bullet.
Shin: Okay, guess I'll kill then!
Soyo: That's enough, Katakuriko.
Matsu: !
Soyo: That man...
remembered, didn't he?
The promise he made
back then.
The king is still... alive, huh?
...That may be right.
I'm sure he'll
make a wonderful country.
Just watch him and see.

Page 10:
SFX: GAHHAHHAHHAHHA
Someone: Oh, I see.
Zura, huh? Sounds like Edo's 'bout ta be even an more interestin' town than it was before.
Shin: Uh, this really isn't a laughing matter, Tatsuma-san. It may be fine for you, travelling around out in space in your plastic-model ship.
But we have to live in the country that guy made. If nobody does anything...
Tamako: I have added to my data
that Shinapachi-sama has quit being a Yorozuya and has become an assassin.
Shin: Hey, don't say stuff like that! Don't analyze what I do like that!!
Tama: But you took the money. And we came to the rendezvous point, didn't we?
Shin: I-I came here to stop it from happening, obviously!!
Matsu: Despite what the princess is saying, the arrangements have already been made. Meet my comrades at the pier and take the weapons they give you.
Katsura won't go down easy. So I got some pretty crazy weapons from some first-class assassins and black-market merchants.
Shin: Tatsuma-san, isn't there anything you can do?!! You're the only one that can stop him!!
At this rate Edo's gonna turn into another torrent of chaos!! What're you doing right now? Where are you?

Page 11:
Saka: I'm kinda preoccupied at the moment.
Shin: Work?
Saka: I started a new business venture 'n separated from the Kaientai.
I got involved in some cryptocurrency business and now I'm on a ship called the Espoir.
Shin: Uh, then could you take that to Earth as soon as possible?
Saka: Uh, right now the ship's taken me pretty far away.
I kinda bet a lot 'a money 'n now I'm walkin' on a super-high suspended steel beam.
Shin: You went bankrupt, didn't yooou?!!
Was it b*tcoin?!! Did you lose all your money in b*tcoin?!
Saka: Shinpachi-kun, would ya help a guy out of a jam? You're the only one that can help me here.
Shin: I'm the one asking you for heeelp!!
Saka: Yeah, I got that. Then how 'bout I send help ta you and you send help ta me?
I'm pretty sure Mutsu's doin' some work on Earth...
SFX: FUH
T/N: This is a parody of Kaiji. A series about super-high-stakes gambling. Go read Kaiji if you haven't, it's a great series. Also, when is this manga gonna end?

Page 12:
SFX: AAAAAAAAAAA
Shin: ..........
Tamako: I have added that to my data. The captain of the Kaientai, Sakamoto Tatsuma, has perished.
Shin: Hey, don't say grim stuff like that!! I'm sure he's perfectly fine!!
SFX: TSUU TSUUU
Shin: He may be an idiot, but I really don't want him dying!!
Who's gonna fix this situation?!!
He said he'd send Mutsu-san, but is he gonna be able to get in touch with her?
SFX: ZA ZA
Guys: Hey.
!
Are you
the one receiving the goods?
Shin: The black market salesmen...!!
Uh, no, not exactly, um...
Tama: Yes. He is the Yorozuya that will do anything from murder to arms smuggling.
Shin: HEYYYY!!
Tama: Huh? Did I say something that was incorrect?
Guy: Boss, they seem to be arguing about something.
Mutsu: No matter. Hurry and hand over the goods and seize the money.

Page 13:
Mutsu: Whoever the customer is, whatever they're using the goods for, as long as they can pay for them, it doesn't matter.
That is how we black marketeers operate.
Shin: IT'S YOOOOOOOOU?!!
Shin: I can hardly believe it. Forget help,
I never would've thought you were in this maelstrom, too, Mutsu-san.
Mutsu: It wasn't just you earthlings that had various troubles two years ago.
Us out in space had our own problems.

Page 14:
Mutsu: Back then, we were caught in the collapsing Amenotori Ship,
and our ship was mostly turned into space dust.
On top of that, in an attempt to recoup the losses, that idiot invested all the money he had left into cryptocurrency.
Well, sure enough, it all went down the drain and we were left penniless.
At this point, we weren't even able to maintain the Kaientai, so we temporarily disbanded, swearing to reconvene one day.
Then we each started finding out own ways to raise money to revive the Kaientai.
Shin: What kind of way is that?!! Forget reforming, you'll never come back again from that!!
T/N: These are all parodies of the boss-type Kaiji characters. Seriously how long is this manga gonna keep going?
Mutsu: Using the skills I learned in the old days along with some volunteers from the Kaientai,
I started a somewhat grey business.
Shin: Uh, you've totally got a pirate mark right there, though!! It kinda looks more like you're closer to the dead-of-night black side of things!!
Mutsu: This, coming from an assassin who brings a child around with him.
Shin: I told you, that's...
Mutsu: Well, I suppose both of us are having a hard time due to our idiot superiors, then.
Honestly, what an assemblage of people those Joui Four Heavenly Kings are.
They work absurdly hard during times of war,
and then in a peaceful world, one bankrupts a company and gets themselves sold off,
and one starts pretending to be a politician despite being a terrorist.
Then the other two went off who knows where so nobody can find them.
Did you hear?
It's not just your general that disappeared these two years.

Page 15:
Mitsu: Or strictly speaking,
I should say his corpse disappeared.
...That man suffered nearly fatal wounds in the battle with the Liberation Army.
The kind where it was a wonder he was alive at all at that point.
It was just a matter of waiting for death at that point.
He shouldn't have even been able to move.
But, back then,
I'm certain I saw him.
Within the shaking ship,
like a ghost, he was up on his feet,
and that man
still kept walking.

Page 16:
Mutsu: That was the last time I saw him.
After the war ended, no matter where in the ship we searched,
we didn't find him anywhere, not even as a corpse.
...Shinpachi,
where exactly are your generals?
Shin: Do you think that maybe those two...
disappeared for the same reason?
And that Takasugi-san is
still alive?
Mutsu: ........
I don't know...
I just... have an odd uneasiness in my chest.
The same goes for these weapons we're smuggling.
Even for a political power struggle, do they really need all this firepower?
It's like it's enough to start a whole new war.

Page 17:
Mutsu: Maybe
everyone senses it.
That maybe
nothing's really ended...
Shin: Mutsu-san...!!
Mutsu: Never mind. Selling to whomever our customers are, whatever they are using the goods for, is part of being black market salesmen.
Shin: !
SFX: DO DO
Mutsu: Take it.
We got our hands on that ultimate weapon you ordered.

Page 18:
Mutsu: As long as you've got this, no matter how tough a security team your assassination target is,
or what country you're trying to take down, it should be easy.
Shin: Wh...
What is this?
Mutsu: By the way,
that feeling of uneasiness I was talking about,
it should definitely
blow that all away.
SFX: GA PAAA
Shin: BUBERA
SFX: DOSHAAAA
SFX: PUSHII

Page 19:
Gin: You shouldn't show someone something creepy
the moment they wake up from sleeping, yes?
SFX: MUKUH
SFX: ZA ZA
SFX: ZA ZA
Insert: At that fateful, once again---
SFX: ZA
Bottom: Gintama
...Lesson 672
/ End