One Piece 495

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One Piece
Chapter 495: "The Gaon Cannon"
CP9's Independent Report Vol. 5: "Line of Escape"

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[insert text: The coincidental truth!!]
Duval: Da hell d'ya mean, "Like I care"?!!! Who da hell else is gonna take responnability fer dis, huh?!!!
Riders: Head...!!
Sanji: Shaddup!!! If anyone has a right to be pissed off at that poster, it's me!!!
Strawhats: ..................
Nami: Wow, that surprised me... I guess it's a big world...
Usopp: That Sanji... was he, like, born under some kind of miracle-star or something?
Robin: I'm sure he'll have a very interesting death someday.
Franky: Dammit... I can't help but feel sorry for the poor guy...
Chopper: So things like this actually happen...
Hacchan: Nyuuuu... they look just like each other!
Zoro: Peas in a pod.
Brooke: Yohohohoyohohohohoyohohohoho!
Sanji: Oh, I'm so kicking your ass later, Brooke!!
Luffy: So, Sanji, we'll just go on ahead...
Sanji: IS THIS MEANT TO BE MY FAULT?!!!

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Sanji: If you don't want to look like my poster, I'm sure there's plenty you could change! / Change your hairstyle, or your beard, or something, for godssakes!!!
Duval: !! // ...............!!
Sanji: Oh, what's with those "Why didn't I think of that" faces?! / How the hell stupid ARE you guys, anyway?!!!
Duval: I ain'd stupid, stupid!!! / Now you listen here, "Black-Leg"! / You know who we are......?!! // We used to run a humble little mafia in a remote countryside town......! / We'd go around the town, threatening the townspeople for money... it was a simple, peaceful life...!!

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Duval: But what happened then, huh? One day, a group of stupidly powerful Marines showed up on the island! // Oh, I ran, but I got this nasty scar on my back to show for it... I was forced to wear this iron mask to hide my face from the world...!! // Thanks'da you, my life's bin todally destroyed!!! / I'm gonna chase you down to Hell an' back if I hafda!! / If you don't wan' that, den you just gonna hafda kill me righd here!! // HE'S KILLED MEEEE!!!
Riders: Head......!!!
Sanji: I've had enough of your stupid accusations... / ...Why the hell'd you have to try and hurt Nami and everyone as well, huh?!!!
Duval: It's that crew an' that ship that made you a famous pirate!! // Of course I'm gonna want revenge on them too, you dumbass!!! // YOU CAN ALL JUST DIE~~~~!!!
Sanji: Gahh!! Poison harpoons!!!

5
Announcement: Get in formation!!
Franky: Hm?
Sanji: ?!! // !! // Oh, crap!!
Usopp: Sanji!!!
Nami: Get out of there, quick!! They're going to drop you in the sea!!!
Sanji: ...Shit... the net's made of steel...!
Duval: Now suffer... // ...and drown!!!

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Chopper: SANJI~~~!!!
Strawhats: !!!
Luffy: Shit!! I'll go and -
Zoro: You stay here, idiot! I'll go and get him!
Hacchan: Wait! You're humans, you'll never catch them!! Leave him to me!
Duval: Hahahahah... Fools! You may be a fishman, but you'll never catch the Flying Fish!! / They're the fastest creatures in the entire ocean!
Hacchan: Nyuuu?!
Duval: And the Riders on top of them have air canisters, so they can stay under as long as they have to!! / Your friend will never survive this!
Strawhats: ?!!
Sanji: .........!!
Duval: The next time you see your "Black-Leg" friend surface, he'll be nothing more than a drowned body!!

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Luffy: WHAT THE HELL?!!
Duval: Hahahahahah...
Sanji: ...I can't...breathe......!!! // *glug glug*
Riders: Feel the wrath of our Head, Black Leg!!
Caimie: Don't worry!!
Everyone: ?!
Nami: ?! // Caimie?!!
Pappagg: Hey there, cowboy. I think you're forgetting someone......
Duval: ?!
Pappagg: Oh, sure, Flying Fish are faster than even fishmen in the water. / But the fastest in the ocean?! Not a chance. // There's only one race that deserves the title of "fastest" in the ocean... and that's the merfolk!!

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Pappagg: (There's nobody in the entire world... // ...who can swim faster than a mermaid!!!)
Riders: !!
Caimie: Don't you worry!! // I'm coming to save you, Sanji-chin!!
Sanji: ...............!!!
Luffy: Is she really that incredible?!
Pappagg: Oh, yeah! As long as they actually stay on their guard, the merfolk are incredibly difficult to catch!!
Luffy: Really!! // Caimie!! Take care of Sanji, okay?!!!
Strawhats: Hm? // ?!!

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Strawhats: Huh?! // WHAT'S THAT?!
Riders: Heheh...
Strawhats: Is that the anchor for some giant ship?! It's enormous!
Riders: Aim for the Strawhats' ship!! // Hit it dead-on and sink it!!! // Some of them are Fruit-users!! If we get 'em in the water, they're ours!!!
Franky: This is bad!! They're going to sink us in one hit!!
Usopp: We've gotta dodge with a "Burst" or the "Paddle"! Can we make it in time?!
Franky: Not a chance!!! // Quick!! Get up on the bow!!
Usopp: Huh?! Sure... gotcha.
Franky: We've gotta use our "secret weapon"!!!
Usopp: "Secret weapon"?!!

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Riders: And drop~~~~!!!
Luffy: The Sunny's in trouble...!!!
Brooke: This does not look good!!
Franky: Believe in the ship!!!
Usopp: The mane started spinning...!!!
Duval: SIIIINK!!!
Usopp: Here it comes!!!
Franky: Emergency Evasion Secret Weapon!! // Chicken Voyage!!!

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Riders: ?!! // WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!! // THEY DODGED IT~~~~~~~~~~~!!! // Impossible!! // Whoever heard of a ship that could go in reverse?!!!
Franky: Usopp, get inside the prow!!!
Usopp: Inside? ......Ahh!! There's an entrance!!
Franky: Don't think dodging's all we can do!!
Luffy/Chopper: AWESOME!!!!

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Duval: What the?! What now......?!!!
Franky: Get as many as you can within the sights!!
Usopp: ! // .........!! // Like this......?! // Done it!!
Franky: Lock on and pull the lever!!
Riders: What...?
Usopp: Got it!!
Franky: GAON CANNON!!!
Riders: ?!! // GUAAAAAAHHHH!!!

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Luffy: ............ // ...That was too awesome...
Franky: Ahahahah!! Check it out; the true power of the Sunny!!
Someone: ...You just took out almost all the Flying Fish...!!
Franky: That's Usopp's aiming for ya! Damn fine stuff for a first try!!
Usopp: .........This thing's a monster......!!
Brooke: Lion-chan!! You're incredible!!! // I feel like my eyes are about to pop out!!
Luffy: SUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
Franky: It uses a full three barrels to prevent the ship itself from being blown away... / ...and at the same time, releases two barrels' worth of Coup De Burst from the cannon. / It uses up a ton of cola, so just don't overuse it, okay?!!

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Riders: She's... tied us up with the net!! // Damn that speedy little mermaid!!
Caimie: Just a little further!! // Hang in there, Sanji-chin!!
Nami: Caimie!!
Chopper: Thank goodness! Is Sanji okay?!
Caimie: *pant*... *pant*!! Everyone!! It's terrible; Sanji-chin's losing a lot of blood!
Nami: ?!
Chopper: Did they beat him up?!!
Caimie: Just when I thought he was safe, all this blood started bursting from his nose...
Chopper: ......!! From his nose......??
Usopp: ...Oh, just leave him... If he's gonna die, then let him die... // He looks happy enough.

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Duval: Damn you... You're still alive after all?!!
Caimie: Hold on, Sanji-chin!
Luffy: You're kind of running out of grunts, huh?
Duval: Why, you...!! // In that case, why don't you try Motobaro on for size............?!!!
Luffy: !!
Duval: Countless fools have fallen victim to his mighty horns in the past! // Why, they have even been known to tear holes in village dams!! Try to cage him, and he'll break straight back out!! / And it's thanks to this guy's horns that I managed to escape from my Marine pursuers with my life, as well!!!
Luffy: Right. I'll stop him.
Duval: Men call him the "Heart-Smashing Horn"... / Now go, Motobaro~~~~~!!
Chopper: Watch out, Luffy~~!!

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Duval: !!
Chopper: THE HORNS ARE NOWHERE NEAR HIM~~~~!!!
Luffy: There's no point in us fighting.
Motobaro: !!
Duval: Hm? What's wrong, Motobaro?!
Zoro: Something's up with that cow...
Duval: ! // Hey, Motobaro!! / Where are you going?!!
Motobaro: ...............!!

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Duval: ??!!
Luffy: ?
Franky: What the - ?!!
Usopp: He passed out?!
Nami: What on earth happened? / What did Luffy do?!
Luffy: .........? I didn't do anything!! / ?
Duval: Aaahhhh!! Motobaro!! This is terrible... dammit... Motobaro~~~~~~~!!!
Robin: I don't think he even attacked it... / ...It looked like Luffy won the cow over by talking to it......

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Usopp: What, you mean he psyched it out? / But the thing actually fainted...!
Franky: Is that even possible...?
Duval: DAMN YOU ALL, STRAWHAT PIRATES~~~~!!!
Sanji: Hey, wait a moment, Luffy...
Luffy: ! // Sanji! All right, you're okay!!
Sanji: I want you to leave this accusatory asshole... // ...for me to finish off......!!!
Duval: Black Leg... // ..."Finish me off", Black Leg?!! / I ain' gonda die!!! Not 's long's you're still livin' an' piratin'!!! // My life of peace ain' never gon' come back!!! I'm da one who's sick o' dem false accusations!!!
Sanji: Shut the hell up! I don't want to see that stupid poster face any more than you do!!! / That face shouldn't damn well exist!!!
Duval: !!

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Sanji: Oeil!!
Duval: Gyaahh!!
Sanji: Nez! Joue! / Bouche! Dents! Menton!
Duval: Guannnghhhhhaaahhhh!! // Bueeeghhh!!! // S - Stop dis, please......!
Sanji: Aaaand... // PARAGE SHOT!!!
Duval: GUAAAAAHHHHH!!!
[insert text: The Great Beauty Operation!!]
[TN: Oh, crap, he pulled a Wanze on him... What's he going to look like now? >_<]