One Piece 502

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One Piece
Chapter 502: The Tenryuubito Affair
CP9's Independent Report Vol. 12: "Shopping and Smoking"

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[insert text: The Human Auction!! Gotta save Caimie!!]
Disco: And boy, is this a good one!! Beautiful dancing-girl Pascia!! Starting the bidding at 800,000!
Chalros: Wheww... finally arrived... / Mmmnhh...
Disco: And... sold! For the extraordinary sum of 7,200,000 Beli~~~~~!!!
Chalros: It still seems to be in progress, but we've missed half the fun...
Disco: Now, how about this next item~~~~~~?!
Chalros: It's all because you're so pathetically slow!!
Slave: Unghh...
Chalros: Honestly, he really gets on my nerves~~~~~~!!! // Go and sell this stupid piece of junk! / I don't need him any more!!
Servant: Immediately, my lord!!

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Chalros: What I'd really like is a "mermaid"~~~ / I wonder if one will show up today~~~
Servant: Merfolk are a notoriously difficult race to successfully capture... / As such... it seems rather unlikely.........
Disco: Entry Number~~~~~~~~ Sixteen!!!
Strawhats: (.........Tenryuubito...)
Somebody: Ah, if it isn't Chalros-Sei!!
Chalros: Hurry up and show me to my seat.
Kidd: (............)
Disco: Why, it's the captain of a pirate crew!!
Nami: (It's another one of those "World Nobles".........!!)
Sanji: (And if we defy them, then we have to deal with a Marine Admiral......)
Kidd: ..................
Shalulia: Oh, so you have finally arrived, Chalros-niisama...

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Disco: This man's name is Lacueva!! / A fearsome pirate famed as a devious tactician!! // He holds a bounty of 17,000,000 Beli!! And just take a look at his wonderfully honed body!! / He'd make a fine "human horse", or put him to work at manual labour or as a sandbag!! // This guy has any number of uses!! / ...Now then.........
People: Aaaahhhhhh!!! // Ahh!! What's wrong with that guy...?!!
Disco: Why, that little.........!! // Don't tell me he......!!
People: Aahh!! He collapsed!! // (Somebody lower the curtain for a minute!)

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Nami: What... just happened?
Sanji: He bit his own tongue...
Someone: ?!
Sanji: Rather than be kept as a slave and lead a wretched life... he chose to die right here instead. // You could call it a pretty wise decision.
Franky: And still no sign of the mermaid.........?!!
Chopper: Caimie must be pretty scared...
Nami: We just have to endure this a little longer... then we'll be able to buy her!! / It's a good thing we got all that treasure at Thriller Bark...
Clown: It's no good.
Disco: Ugh, damn it all! What did that idiot think he was playing at?!! / How are we supposed to sell him now?!! // Hurry up and get the mermaid ready!!
Caimie: .........
Clowns: We're all ready!!
Caimie: .........
Disco: We're bringing her out next!

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Disco: Well, I'm sorry to inform you all... // The pirate Lacueva got a little nervous - he got a bit of a nosebleed and started choking! // He's collapsed backstage, so we won't be selling him until a later date!! // However - ladies and gentlemen!! The product I am about to reveal to you all... // ...should be enough to completely blast all thoughts of such minor issues right out of your minds~~~~!! // It's a Su~~~~per Special Item!!! // Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes...!! // Upon that beast whom many try to capture, but few succeed!! // Without further ado, I think I'll let the goods do the talking!!
People: Ahh... could it be?!!

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Disco: Direct from Fishman Island!!! // It's the "mermaid", Caimie~~~~~~~~!!!
People: Aaaaahhhhhh~~~~!! // The real thing!! A fresh young mermaid~~~!!
Hacchan: Caimie!!! It's Caimie at last~~~~!!
Nami: All right! Time to take her back!!
Pappagg: Baby~~~~~~~!!
Nami: We have two hundred million to burn if we need to!!
Caimie: ......Ahh!! / It's Hacchin and the others!! // They must be here to save me~!!
Chalros: ......It's the real thing~~~~~~!! / A mermaid~~~~~~~!! They're selling a mermaid~~!!

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Chalros: I'll bid FIVE HUNDRED MILLION~~~!!! // FIVE HUNDRED MILLION BELI~~~~~~!!!
People: ?!!
Disco: Wha - ?!
Nami: ......!!! // Wha...?!
People: ...It's no good... we can't go up against him.........!!
Nami: .........What's with that guy......?!! Right off the bat...!! // We don't have nearly enough.........!!

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Rosward: There you go again... wasting money... / And isn't your fishtank already packed full of piranhas?
Chalros: Well, the chase will just make things more fun. / They do say mermaids are the fastest creatures under the sea, Father!
Caimie: Help me, Hacchin!! / Get me out of here!! // (I can't hear a thing from outside...)
Disco: ......It...... it looks like the entire auction was struck speechless for a moment there... / But you heard the man!! Five hundred million!! Any higher offers?! // If not, we'll be ending the bidding on the mermaid here!!
Chopper: Isn't there anything we can do?! There's gotta be something~~!! / C'mon, Sanji~~~!!
Sanji: .........
Chopper: This is no good...!! We can't have our friend bought and dragged off by that guy!! We can't...!!
Sanji: This is bad...!! We never accounted for this possibility... // We were relying on being able to solve this with money and get out of here... but things just got a whole lot worse...
Hacchin: ...Nyuu~~! Now it's come to this... I have to take her by force and set her free...!!
Pappagg: Don't be a fool!! What're you gonna do about that collar, huh?! You'll make her explode!!
Hacchin: Well, then...... we'll just have to get the key... somehow...

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Disco: A~nd that's time up!! // Our super-special item of the day... / ...the "mermaid", Caimie... // ...to highest bidder, World Noble Chalros-Sei... / ...for 500,000,000 Beli...
Chalros: That's that!
Hacchan: Nyuuuu~~~~!!!
Kidd: It's like a metaphor for this screwed-up world... / What a complete farce. Let's get out of here.
Luffy: GUAAAAAHHHHH...!!
Kidd: Hm?
Luffy: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!
Kidd: What's that...?
Luffy: GRUAAAAAAAHHHHHHH~~~~~~~!!!
People: Whooooahh~~~~! // Aaahhh!!!
Kidd: ?!!

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Disco: What's this?!!
Rosward: What's all the ruckus?
Sanji: Luffy...!!!
Luffy: Dammit, can't you pull off a better landing than that?!!
Rider: Like hell I can!! This is a flying fish, you know!! And you're the one who said to "smash right in there"!!
Zoro: Jeez... I hopped on 'cause you told me to an' all... / ...but why are we in such a crazy hurry to get back to the Sunny anyway? ...Hell, where are we?
Chopper: Zoro, too?!!
Zoro: Huh?! You guys......
Kidd: That man... isn't that "Strawhat Luffy".........?!!
People: What's going on?! Who on Earth are these punks.........?!
Luffy: Ahh!! Caimie~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!
Caimie: Luffy-chin...

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Luffy: CAIMIE! THERE YOU ARE~~~~~~~~!!! / THANK GOODNESS~~~~~~~~~~~!!!
Hacchan: Wait right there!!! Wait, Strawhat!!! / What are you trying to pull?!!!
People: Isn't that... a pirate?!!
Luffy: Whaddaya mean?! Caimie's right there!!
Hacchan: Sure, she's there - with an exploding collar round her neck!! / We can't take her like that!! Not to mention, the Tenryuubito are involved...
Luffy: Oh, screw all that!
People: Aaaaaahhhhhh~~~~~~~~!!!
Hacchan: Huh...? / Ahh...
People: IT'S A FISHMAN~~~~~~~~!!! THAT'S DISGUSTING~~~~~~~~!!! // What?! A fishman?!
Hacchan: Ah...

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Luffy: I'm coming for you, Caimie!!
Disco: Somebody stop him!! Stop that man in the straw hat!!!
Luffy: Damn you bastards!!! Caimie isn't for sale~~~!!!
People: What's a fishman doing here on dry ground?!! // Ahh, that's so creepy... look at the colour of his skin!! Look at all those arms......!!
Hacchan: Nyuu.........
People: It's scary!! So scary!! Don't let it near me~~~~~~~~!!! // Get back to the sea, you monster~~~~!!! // Get out of here!!!
Hacchan: Nyuu~~!
Sanji: The hell's all this...?!
Pappagg: Hachi!! Let's get out of here!! We don't need to end up having to save you, too!!
Hacchan: Forget about me, what about Caimie - ?!
Nami: It's just like Robin said...... Here on these islands, fishmen and merfolk are......... // ...completely discriminated against...!!
Chopper: What?!! Caimie and Hachi are?!!

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Clowns: ?!!
People: Aaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! // ...............!!!

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Chalros: Hohohohoho! Haha~h! Haha~h!♪ // I got the fishman~~~~!! I sure sorted him out~~~!!
Nami: ...............!!! // HACHI!!!
People: Aaahhhhh... thank goodness, he shot it... If it came any closer, we might have caught something from it... // I'm sure it must have been after something... they think like a fish, those monsters...
Luffy: .........
Caimie: .........!! .........!!! .........!!!

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Chalros: Oh, Father~~!!! Look at me~~!!! I caught me a fishman~~~~!!! // I caught it myself, so it's totally free, right? // Now that's real value! A fishman slave for nothing~~~~~~~~!! // Fre~~~e~~~! Fre~~~e~~~! An octopus for free~~~!!!
Luffy: .........!!
Hacchan: ...Wai...t... please... *pant*... Strawhat...!!! / *pant* // *pant*
Luffy: !
Hacchan: You... can't... *pant*... *pant*... It was... my... fault... // *cough* // You promised... even if somebody gets shot... right before your eyes!! You mustn't go up against... the Tenryuubito...!! // I was a pirate in the first place, anyway......!! / I did bad things... this is my just deserts...!
Strawhats: ..................
Hacchan: *pant*... / *pant*... // I'm so sorry... I never meant for things to turn out... like this...!!

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Hacchan: I just wanted to... make things up to Nami...!! Even if only a little... // I just wanted... to be able to help you guys out............
Nami: Hachi......!
Hacchan: But it's no good... No matter what I do... / I'm always just useless.........!! I always just screw things up...! // I'm always just getting in everyone's way... // I'm so sorry~~~~~~!!!
Chalros: Stupid fish~~~!!!
Luffy: !
Chalros: Blabbing your mouth off even though I shot you... you're really getting on my nerves~~~~~!!!
Pappagg: Stop it, Strawhat!!! You'll never get away with it...!!!
People: What's that guy doing...?!!
Kidd: Is he serious...?!
Chalros: And don't get me started on you~~~~!!!

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Chalros: NGUUUAAAAHHH!!!!
[insert text: Luffy's wrath... Smashing through every limit!!]